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Discussion

The question of Adoption

Hi,

I was just interested in getting some of your opinions on this issue.

I was 18 when I found out I was pregnant. When I went to book in at my hospital around 11 wks they did an initial "booking-in" interview. One of the questions they asked me was if the baby would be up for adoption. I said no and didn't think anymore of it.

Then when I had my daughter, about 3 days post I had the "baby blues" big time. My partner was working because he wanted to save his time off till we got home. And my family had gone home because they lived interstate and could only take limited time off work. Anyway I was quite shocked when a nurse walked in to find me in a blubbering mess and asked me "Do you still want to keep the baby?"

I then became part of a mothers group, there were 10 of us who had all had our babies at the same hospital, but I was the youngest by about 7 years. This topic came up one day and they said none of them had even been asked the question at the "booking-in" interview, so I guess it was just because of my age.

For those of you who have experience with this type of thing, are there guidelines about when to ask these questions? The thought of putting my daughter up for adoption never even crossed my mind so I was quite surprised when I was asked about it twice.

Just interested for future reference because I'd like to get into midwifery myself when I finally get through this degree.

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I don't do initial booking visits, so I wouldn't know. I would assume they ask all young mothers if they know the pregnancy was a surprise. I personally don't think of it as insulting because there is nothing bad about putting a baby up for adoption if you are unable to raise it. I would think it was annoying that they would ask again and again.

  • Author

I didn't personally get insulted by it, but I can imagine some people would. Not necessarily the first time, but asking if somebody wants to keep their baby just because they're upset I think is going a bit far.

I would personally never do it, there are other ways to ask questions if you suspect this might be the case.

You were probably asked because you were unmarried..... (you refer to your "partner" rather than your husband, so I am assuming....)

Babies given up are managed in a different way than those staying with their mothers. It may be that the question asked after the baby was born might have been because someone "assumed" you were "alone," family gone home and partner not there.....

It does seem a little odd.... Anyway, glad it worked out. (If this is recent, you might go back and ask them why they asked....)

  • Author

Your right...I'm not married. But my "partner" did come to every appointment and was at the hospital every morning before working and every evening after work when I had her, so they knew i wasn't alone...and we'd had several appointments with the nurse while I was pregnant that actually asked the question after I'd had her.

Maybe she'd just had a bad day.

It's 18 months on now, I was just thinking about it today while trying to get through one of my assignments, so I thought I'd get some opinions.

Back to the books for me, I just got my A & P results tonight, 93% for theory 100% for prac...so I'm a happy girl!!!!!! :)

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