Stumbled in here...

Hello everyone, I am a nurse in recovery.

I practice in ICU for almost 5 years. In June of 2010, I had a very tramatic experience. Ended up with a PTSD, depression, anxiety diagnosis and about 6-7 meds to go along with it. I had never had a mental illness disorder or substance abuse history in the past.

I went from taking my meds as prescribed, to taking them with alcohol. I attempted suicide twice and thought about it at least 100 times a day.

I had taken some time off of work, but once I returned, it wasn't long before I was diverting from work.

The drug and alcohol use got really out of hand. I had two mini interventions, neither one worked.

I was called at home and asked to come into work. I declined the invite and told them I resigned (obviously I knew what the meeting was about).

3 months later I was called by a state investigator (Michigan)

I came clean with him and self reported to HPRP.

I signed a contract with HPRP in December 2011. I have 3 years with them, but I am voluntary (non-regulatory).

I wanted to share this with anyone struggling. It is hard to wrap my head around the changes that have happened in my life, but I am started to see through the clouds. It is getting better and I am really (REALLY) happy I am alive today.