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Discussion

Starting to hate nursing...and only doing it for 3 months!!

Hi, I just graduated from my nursing program in August, this is a second degree for me. I was a social worker in my previous life. I loved being a social worker, but got paid crap, which lead me to go for a nursing degree instead of a master's in social work. Anyways, I started working in a big hospital on an ICU. I'm doing a critical care internship, that includes the ECCO program (an online program that goes over critical care components.) I completed my independent clinical in school on the unit and really liked it b/c I had a really awesome preceptor (who unfortunately went to a peds unit the week after I was done my clinical). I really feel like I did not have a good experience in school, and I am very nervous about doing something wrong, so I ask a lot of questions. I am working with a preceptor until February. But these people are such ******* about everything (I can't say all of them are, there are some good ones, but we get rotated through so many of them). I get attitudes when I ask questions, I get told to look everything out (which in certain situations, this would be appropriate, but if it is something I can look up, I will, but if I could learn everything out of a book/online, I wouldn't need a preceptor). I have gotten major attitude from 2 different preceptors about not taking 2 patients (our unit assignments are 1-2 patients, and I just don't feel comfortable doing 2 patients yet, with trying to learn everything I am of course slower and really don't want to lose my license because I'm trying to rush through things.) And some of the nurses are so mean to the patients (this upsets me to begin with, but also my grandmother died at this hospital a few years ago and I think this upsets me even more b/c I think if they treated her like that.) So I am convinced that ppl get out of nursing b/c of the ****** co-workers, not b/c of the job itself. And I am just so fed up with it, I don't won't to do it anymore. I am nowhere near knowing things I need to know, and when I don't have ppl who will teach me anything, how am I suppose to learn? I chose a big hospital for the reason that I could move around, but I worked as a CNA in previous life too (prior to social work) and the nurses were the same way then, so I switched from nursing to social work. I went to a magnet hospital thinking I was going somewhere good but I don't know. And the worse thing is that I'm in a contract to work on a critical care unit within the system until March 2010. (I'm seriously considering care management. I thought I should get some RN experience prior to doing it, but I really wish I could do it now). So i just needed to vent and if anyone could share some thoughts I would really appreciate it.

Featured Replies

  • Expert

I'm stressed just reading about all your worries. I know ICU must be overwhelming for a new grad but I have friends that did it and have thrived so I'm thinking maybe it just isn't a good fit for you. Its just not for everyone. Since you liked social work maybe something in the psych arena might be good to try. Any chance you can buy out your contract with the hospital where you are now? I hope you find your niche soon. Please keep us posted.

  • Expert

Perhaps critical care is simply not the right area for you. You talk about expecting to "feel comfortable" in your role ... and that's simply not going to happen for a long time. Part of being a successful nurse in many fast-paced areas is being prepared to function even when you feel uncomfortable. Some people are stimulated by that feeling of stress ... of having to "reach" to keep on top of things. Other people find that feeling frightening and prefer to work in other settings.

Is that at least a part of what is going on with you? There is a HUGE difference between care management and ICU. Most people interested in one will not like the other. They require an entirely different set of skills -- and generally a different mindset. If you have the "personality/mindset" of a care manager, it's no wonder that you are not a good fit for an ICU.

Give yourself the gift of a little career counseling. Either think it through yourself carefully ... or talk to people, read books, etc.. Examine yourself honestly and thoroughly to identify your career strengths and preferences. Be brutally honest with yourself about those things that are not your strengths (i.e. working in a high-stress, high acuity area and picking up those skills quickly). Explore the different types of nursing careers and find one that matches well with your strengths and preferences -- and then go in that direction.

Not everyone is well-suited to be an ICU nurse -- and THAT'S OK! That doesn't mean you can't be a really great nurse in another specialty -- or that you won't enjoy another specialty. Don't write off an entire profession just because you ended up in one job that didn't suit you well ... or because you may be currently working with aren't as nice as you would like them to be.

If my advice makes your blood boil because your REALLY WANT to be an ICU nurse, then that tells you something you didn't know about yourself. If that's the case, then dig in your heals and fight to succeed where you are. A lot of people (most new grads) feel overwhelmed at times and wish that the work world were "softer and kinder" to new grads. But they push through that and gradually start to feel more comfortable at the 9-12 month mark. You should not expect to feel clinically comfortable at all until at least 6 months.

DONT giveup, patients need people like you who really care. Keep going - you will find your feet and eventually you will grow in confidence and you will no longer need a preceptor, hang in there its worth it. :)

Don't write off an entire profession just because you ended up in one job that didn't suit you well ... or because you may be currently working with aren't as nice as you would like them to be.

I think this point should really be emphasized. I myself, also a second-degree new grad, am nervous about entering acute care (which for me begins in February). But I really want to give it a shot and develop a strong foundation that will serve me well wherever I go in nursing. If I don't like it, I'll move on.

Try not to beat yourself up. There's this huge misconception out there that non-bedside nursing isn't real nursing - but that's bull! Maybe something like community health would be up your alley since you liked your job in social work. Just remember, the possibilities are endless and sometimes it just takes time to find your niche.

Good luck and don't forget to take care of yourself!!!! :mad:

Doesn't sound to me like the job is not a good fit, but rather your coworkers appear to be non-supportive, which can double the stress. On the other hand, I've learned that sometimes what appears to be rudeness is just the fact the other person is stressed out too and can't stretch any farther...you know what I mean? I feel for you. Can you choose a preceptor you like and just keep her or are you on your own now? If you are on your own, is there a resource nurse you can go to with questions?

Only you know how much you can handle -- listen to your heart.

nursemissy8 - is it going any better for you lately?

I'd get out of that ICU and take a step back to a med surg floor, or some other med surg type unit where expectations aren't quite so high. I might also think of moving to another hospital since you have a bad association with this one.

I myself went "back" to a med surg floor and had a much better more organized and gentle orientation. The preceptors were much more laid back and gave me time to putter a bit and learn. The overall attitude was just more laid back and fun. Now I've been there over a year, am a preceptor myself and like it a lot. I am very, very kind to my new nurses, as MY nurses were all pretty good to me. Not every one was perfect, but I surely wasn't treated as awful as I was on the ICU floor.

Sad for them -- they lost a nurse. And now I'm successful on this floor and planning to head to a cardiac unit as soon as I've met my obligation. I don't know why, for the life of me, that ICU nurses do this to new grads. FORGET THEM -- they can rot, as far as I'm concerned. I'll get back to the ICU someday, after I've really gotten some knowledge under my belt -- and at that point, I will refuse to take their crap. I can't wait for that day! ;)

All is not lost. As long as you meet your obligations to your unit that you sign in on, you CAN transfer around. But be prepared to do your time on the unit and fulfull your obligation. It means, GET the experience, be a participating member of the unit, do the best job you can do -- and then when it's your time, you can move on -- that is my plan, also, so I do not burn any bridges along the way.

  • Author

Well, I had been at about 5 months the beginning of Feburary, and was actually started feeling comfortable in my role and that I would be okay to do it on my own. Well then the week before Valentine's day, that Monday we had ACLS training for 2 days. At the end of the first day, they met with us to tell us there were no positions on my unit (MICU/SICU) and that they were going to move us into other positions within the hospital, none of which I really wanted to do. So I inquired about going to Case Management, since I also have a degree in Social Work. I got the job in Case Management, and I've been in the position for a month. I really love this job. I was kinda planning on eventually going this route, but I did want to work as a nurse for a little bit longer. But everything is going good for now.

congrats! sounds like you're in a good place - good luck!

  • Expert

I'm happy to read you found your niche. There is no good reason to spend your life trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

I wish you great success in your new job.

Congratulations! I am glad to hear you are enjoying your new job. This is what you wanted, although you started sooner then you wanted.

I am exactly in the same boat as you are but my year commitment is up 4/28. I dread every second thinking of going to work... and I am always thinking about it every second even when I am off. I'm so depressed. I only came to the realization maybe 2 months ago that critical care nursing is probably not for me. The only way I got through this year was telling myself that I am a new nurse... these or normal feelings... but now that almost a year has gone by, I feel like I am in a worse position than when I started. I completely lack any sort of confidence in myself. CCU is just too stressful. I like stress, but not this kind of stress. I am no longer the happy, bubbly person that I used to be. I used to love nursing when I was an LPN in an ambulatory setting... now I am just sad and confused. I am glad you found your niche is case management. I am just trying to find mine. I am scared of experiencing this all over again, but on the other hand, I look forward to finding a job that I could possibly love. I don't know where to even start.

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