Sometimes still shocked

And just in case y'all were curious, I found a great tree! Love from Alaska!

awesome post!!

What do you do

Currently I am the best damn back dock worker aka receiving associate aka box bandit. After I lost my job I thought back to other jobs I had previously held that made me happy, then I thought to myself I might just enjoy working hard with my hands and opted to try something new. Traded in scrubs for steel toed boots. I truely love it. So whiltst I do find myself dreaming of being a nurse again, I have found I can be happy anywhere, a truely freeing revelation. This has lead me to look at jobs outside of nursing that I would love to learn how to do: pipe fitting being at the top of that list. I am working hard for my lisence, and I will nurse again. In the meantime I have realized that part of regaining my lisence means regaining myself. Laughing a lot helps. The biggest lesson I've learned so far is that making nursing too much an intricate part of my identity and self worth is nothing more than selling myself short. There is much to be said about the person I am. Caring for others is part of who I am and nursing fit that, but I also experience that same satisfaction in caring for my new coworkers, and them me. We're all just friends on the island of misfit toys trying to find home again (couldn't help it, it's a Christmas feeling kind of day)

Twoyear, I know just what u mean! While I was out of nursing I worked at a bank making just over minimum wage. I realized how much I identified myself as being a nurse. By not being a nurse for a year, I found myself. I am back working as a nurse now and am very thankful for that opportunity, but there are times I miss the simplicity of the bank. Than was my favorite job ever - and had they been able to even come "close" to a nurses salary I would have stayed in a heartbeat and kissed nursing goodbye!

I love this website, it's so nice to not feel alone. When I first arrived here I reveled in the stories of success, but recently I find that it's the little melodramas in people's day to day that make me feel the most sane. We are all working towards the same goals. I'd love to read more about what y'all do in the meantime, we can't all be living in the terror induced posts that often bring us here. Thinking back I remember that really terrifying me, thinking "am I going to be afraid throughout this entire experience?!" and now I've realized that I have many more good days than bad and a true gratitude for the good. This is fostered by the "meantime". So I guess what I am asking is how are you all doing in the "meantime"?

Also, I remember thinking "oh my god, what if I can't be a nurse anymore!" and now i realize...well lots of things! I can be a sister, daughter, friend, pipe fitter, I could go back to school, rock climber, outdoor enthusiast, work on a back room dock throwing boxes...and yes, a nurse again. All these things in good time. It took me a bit to remember that I am allowed to be happy. I spent too much wasted energy in the beginning when I would laugh at something countering this with "look what you've done, you have no right to feel happy". So silly.

Nursing is a passion of mine, I may very well return to it at some point. I have a job offer in psych, a long term passion of mine. The nurse manager wants me to apply and has asked me several times. I am not ready. There is much to learn about myself before I make that leap.