Sharing too much?

You have to follow your gut. Sometimes I have things in common with the patient, and sharing that helps them connect with you. Last Christmas, a patient's wife gave me a small gift and card. I shared with her that my husband and I had participated in a lighted boat parade (the patient was a Merchant Marine) and showed her a picture of our boat, lit up for the occasion. One of my favorite questions to ask is, "where did you grow up?" and " how did you get here from there?" You learn more about them, and perhaps discover/learn a thing or two.

I am a new case manager for hospice and have a question. I have found that there is a tricky area when it comes to being a case manager. Especially when you are in the home with families and you spend a lot of time with them. Is it okay to share information about yourself? I know that the visit is supposed to be about the patient but sometimes the patient doesn't talk and is asleep most of the visit. The family wants to talk and likes for you to share things about yourself- your opinion etc. How do you handle yourself in situations like that?

Personally, I am not giving much personal information because I think the focus should be on the family and the patient. Having said that - in home hospice it is a lot about the nurse - client relationship and you can improve the relationship and trust by relating. I do not share much personal information other than where I am from and that I have teenagers. I like to ask about the patient and the family, look at pictures with them and so on and forth. Some cultures do better when you build a bit of a relationship by doing some 'small talk' . Sometimes people will ask me how many languages I speak or hobbies and I have no problem saying that I like to read and travel - but then I re-focus on them and ask about their plans for the weekend and so on.

Remember that families and pt's will only be on your calendar for a certain amount of time- when the pt dies, you want the family to grieve that and think about how glad they are that they chose your hospice- because all of the Team members were so good- not grieve that 'adopted' member of the family. Giving out very general info is fine, but if conversation if staying on you too long you need to be redirecting it. Also, it gets hard to maintain the 'professional distance" that you need to stay with hospice long term if you get too attached.

I agree with the others, general information about yourself may help the family to trust you. However, you must be diligent to maintain an appropriate professional relationship with the patient and family while insuring that the focus of your visits is the hospice patient and not you.