rules for the ER

Found at http://impactednurse.com/?p=45#more-45

Try not to sneeze when wearing a protective face shield.

Never bend down to pick up your pen when the patient is vomiting into a kidney dish.

Always give the patient a call-bell, even when they have an itchy buzer finger.

When returning from a toilet break always always check to make sure you do not have a tail of toilet paper hanging out the back of your pants.

Wash your hands.

Be gentle with your colleagues.

Always handle a dead body with respect.

Air goes in and out. Blood goes round and round. All the rest is obfuscation.

Never underestimate the amount of faeces that can be concealed in a pair of old y-fronts.

Listen until it hurts.

Watch for burn-out. Watch for rust-out.

Best not to fall asleep at the desk and dribble all over your patient notes.

Remember: Best practice. Remember: Worst case scenario.

Guard your testicles from static electricity when making a bed on a dry day. (If you don't have testicles, guard the testicles of those around you.)

The voice of experience sometimes gets drowned out by the din of expedience.

There is no such thing as this will only take a moment.

If you tell your patient "Ill be right back", make it so.

Chocolate is brown. Faeces are brown. It's confusing, I know. But try to pay attention.