I only work in the ER for the humor... 1) The only thing that works for my pain is dilaudid (usually pronounced dilauda) 2) "I'm hungry. I need a coke and a sandwich"...15 minutes after checking in with abd pain, n/v 3) "So, what's wrong with her"...as soon as she has been transferred to our stretcher from EMS 4) "I gave him some benadryl for his fever"...which is far better than...(wait for it, lol) 5) "I didn't give him anything because I wanted you to see how high his temp was 6) "I'm having uterine pain", said the MAN! 7) "I can't stop vomicking. I've been vomicking and vomicking" OMG, the list is long!!!