Wow. This is a very trying time for you. Therefore I urge you to seek out therapy and do meditations for stress relief, self-confidence, self-esteem and PTSD. You can find them on YouTube. Also consider taking some time off to regroup and rest. hugs. Hang in there nurse lady.
It is tough. I suggest the following: 1. Apply for jobs in Jersey City, NJ 2. Join the ANA & the AACN which will make your application look better 3. Do the free CEUS with AACN (shows you care about keeping abreast of new standards) 4. Apply to hospitals that accept Associate Educated nurses 5. Pay the $300 for an online Critical Care course I hope the best for you. Happy Hunting!