zoo4uRN

Congrats Mark! Thanks for sharing your accomplishment. Debbie

Congratulations! Glad you chose to celebrate with us! Recovery is for those who want it, not necessarily those who need it. Debbie

Hi PookRN- Best to check the agreement you signed with your employer. It should guide you as to what your employers specific expections are, consequences for breaking the contract, and the duration of the contract. Concerning the decision to drink after outpt treatment, it might be wise to discuss it with your therapist. At 3 months sober, you may not have given yourself enough time to make a good choice about drinking. I would not be surprised to learn that your employer had concerns, if they find out that you are drinking again so soon after treatment. Folks who aren't problem drinkers don't have to worry about their employers finding out that they have been drinking. Folks who aren't problem drinkers also don't risk their job for a drink. You're a smart gal.............I think you know that already. Best of luck to you- Debbie

RNRoseShea is right--This is only one aspect of your life....don't let it become your life. Take very good care of yourself, learn about the disorder, and get on with your hopes and dreams. Find yourself a good support group, and share only with those that need to know, or you are comfortable with-especially until you come to terms with it yourself. Ultimately, it all boils down to how you look at it..........is it something to fear, or a challenge to overcome? If nursing is what you want, you can do it. Debbie

Wow! That brings back lots of memories from when I worked dental for many years, prior to nursing. Didn't have to make patient calls after hours, but there was always "stuff" that needed to done after hours to try and keep your head above water the next day. I was pretty lucky-I worked for a great group of docs, and we had wonderful, long-term staff. I miss those days. Really good advice, santhony44!

Sounds like you really do need a change. Do you think a change of agency would help, or is HH just not a good fit for you? I'm sure you'll find the perfect place to use your gifts. Wishing you the very best in your future endeavors. :icon_hug: Debbie

Hi Sara - Congratulations on your recovery! There are quite a few of us, with various lengths of sobriety, on this forum............and each one is passionate about being a nurse in recovery. Kudos and hugs to you for having the courage to do the right thing, even when the going gets tough. I didn't see anything in your post about blaming your problems on your co-workers. What I got from your post, and correct me if I'm wrong, is that you're experiencing abusive behavior from your co-workers r/t the fact that you are a nurse in recovery. They may justifiably have trust issues, but that doesn't give any of them the right to behave in a manner that is anything less than professional towards you. That being said, a bit of that behavior is to be expected and the reasons for it are as numerous as there are personal experiences. Some folks just want to be the perpetual martyr, others like to play the victim, etc......even tho they were never personally involved in a situation with your drug addiction. Some folks like making others feel less than.......makes them feel better about themselves if they are "one up". Truth is..... you can't change them, you can only change yourself. However, you did not get sober to be the target of someone's misguided, maladaptive, misplaced anger. Some of this may blow over in time (it often does), and sometimes we need to find another area to work in. Talking it over with your nurse manager may help to open up some other options. Hopefully, some of the others will be along to share their experience with you soon. In the meantime, hang in there! It DOES get better. You're welcome to PM me anytime. Debbie

I won't either. I worked with some great folks at FMC, but my employment there caused too many ethical dilemmas.

RN2B- I think Stunned RN was referencing the OP employer threat of reporting to the BON if 2 weeks notice was not given.

Got my undivided attention on the "fake MD" too.......... Debbie

I wish you much success Nursewendii. An honest self appraisal is key to good recovery! Make the commitment about not working in areas that have narcotics, and never look back. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Work hard in your recovery program, and avoid slippery slopes. Change your playgrounds and your playmates. Maintain your sobriety at all costs, and everything will fall into place. If you need to work outside of nursing for a bit, so be it. Be a willing spirit to do whatever it takes, and put ego aside (what you might think you should be doing, or what you think others may think you should be doing:lol2:) Always remember, you're not a bad person trying to get good! You're a sick person trying to get well. Never give up until the miracle happens! Best wishes- Debbie

I would be upset if I were in your shoes too. Very uncomfortable situation for everyone involved. Too bad they couldn't have scheduled you on different days, or reassigned the nurse to a different area. Do your managers know how you feel? Debbie

Hi Leslie- Thanks for your thoughtful reply and your honesty. I happened upon your other post in another thread concerning a nurse who was active in her addiction https://allnurses.com/forums/2277437-post153.html and about a family member who struggles with addiction https://allnurses.com/forums/2277154-post149.html I'll use those as a point of reference, as it helps me to know what your experience has been to better be able to answer. The experience you had with the nurse who was in the later stages of addiction, and lack of appropriate response from management, would put anyone on edge. I'm in recovery, and it scares the heck out of me when I hear these stories. Addiction progresses very quickly, so the sooner interventions are made the safer everyone is. I can't stress that enough. Systems are in place to protect the vulnerable, and more can be done, but it is imperative that the systems that are in place are utilized. It's unfortunate that management let it go so long. Everyone around that nurse was unnecessarily traumatized by the experience. There is no justification for that nurse's personal choices, but as an impaired nurse, she was no longer capable of making decisions for herself, let alone patients. I wouldn't trust that nurse. I feel for the folks on the floor she was transferred to. Horrible situation for everyone concerned. As for the drug addicted mom that is giving birth to drug addicted babies..........I can't change what has already been done, all I can hope for is to make a difference to someone, somewhere so that one less baby suffers. As a nurse in recovery, those little babies break my heart and yes, sometimes I get a bit angry too. I can't justify what the mom's have done, but I can offer them a chance to live their life differently and improve their family's quality of life. Should the mom's have consequences for their actions.........you bet! Consequences can sure get someone's attention in a hurry.........ask me how I know! LOL! But seriously, please understand that the folks in recovery do not wish to defend or justify the actions of active addicts/alcoholics. I think basically both sides of the issue want the same thing-we just have different ways of going about it. With regards to your comment about seeing few successes in recovery with the addictions you have seen in your life, I can't say that has been my experience. I realize you have a family member that is a chronic relapser, and there are those folks who seem to have those difficulties in recovery. I have been active in recovery for 9 years, and have been a facilitator for an Aftercare Program for one of the major rehab facilities in our city for the last 5+ years. In my experience, and published literature will bear this out, one underlying cause of chronic relapse often times is related to undiagnosed mental health issues, such as depression, bipolar disorder, etc. It can also be related to non-compliance with medications for those conditions. Secondly, it is documented that folks that have the most success with recovery are those that were admitted to inpt/outpt treatment programs, and their success rate is directly related to the duration of treatment, attendance in aftercare, and continued attendance of 12 step meetings. Not saying it cannot be done by attending 12 step programs alone, just saying over all success rate is higher when done in conjunction with a treatment program. Accountability is another key factor for success, as are clearly understood consequences. I'm a firm believer in consequences, for without them there would not be motivation for change. Duration of treatment directly relates to the fact that it takes a long time to effectively change thinking patterns and behaviors, and construct effective coping mechanisms, etc. All those things are imperative to relapse prevention. That's why most BON programs are 3-5 years long. Our states pharmacy, physician, and resp therapy are 5 years in duration.... Nursing is only 3 years in AZ. Folks who make it thru the 3-5 year programs normally do very well, in comparison to the general recovery population. I understand the issues of trust you have, truly I do. A healthy dose of skepticism can be a good thing . I hope I answered everything.......it's really late and I need to get my tired body to bed. Debbie

Hi Burn Out- Thanks for sharing your experience (truly). Living with a practicing addict/alcoholic is it's own private hell. Good for you for putting your foot down, and getting out when you knew he wasn't going to change. I have seen too many folks stay alot longer than they should have, hoping against hope that things would change. Being manipulated and lied to hurts. You have every right to be angry.......who wouldn't be? There is no justification for his behavior-absolutely none. I'm sorry that it happened to you, and I wish you peace and happiness in the days ahead. Debbie

Hi Ed- Hang in there and don't get discouraged in the process, it will get better. I'm a bit confused as to why the BON would be asking you to pay a $1000.00 fine now? Did they say what the fine is for? I'm assuming they have reviewed your LPN and court records, so they are aware of what transpired previously. Debbie