MSTLUV

You wouldn't believe how I was able to obtain this opportunity and that is what kills me. Nursing is such a rewarding, remarkable, respected profession that I have wanted to be a part of for so long. I guess realizing I don't have the best people skills, and me being anxious often etc makes things more challenging and makes me tell myself this would never work for me.

I feel so, but I feel that the minimal anxiety I had increased once in NS. I do believe if I was less anxious, I would have a better attitude and not feel that I just can't do this. Walking onto the unit for clinical and telling yourself today is going to suck because you're so nervous is what stinks. I think the depressed state manifested each time I'd tell myself I can never be a nurse like this.

I can only imagine! That's the reason I haven't opened up about this to one of my instructors. Instead, I save it for my ineffective counselor. I keep thinking an instructor will tell me I need to drop, when I would hope one would say... this its normal, things get better, don't give up.

And forget about the reflective journals for clinical. I tend to be too honest with how I feel with my performance which i think makes me look bad.

Thank you so much for this. A part of me wants to get through this and shake these feelings knowing I do want this. Then the part of me isn't happy where I am right now. I'm shy, quiet, introverted, and like to focus on one task at a time and NS doesn't work that way. I'm pushed into a place that makes me feel uncomfortable and maybe that's why I don't enjoy school right now. Then I see what floor nursing is like and I don't enjoy that either like during clinical. I want to get to my ultimate goal in nursing in the OR, and it is important to me. It's important for myself, my partner, and my family. But it's like goodness I have to push through this just to get my destination. I can't stop thinking gosh I will have two more years of feeling like this in school. And I've read many people hating their nursing jobs. I can see myself now crying over everything. I need to grow a pair I have such a hard time seeing pts in constant pain and at their worst. In the OR, that's a different story. They're awake for a short period of time, then you get to work and do what needs to be done for the pt.

My boyfriend has been helping support me financially while I go to school, so he is feeling he is at a loss. At the end of the day, he supports me, but will refuse to help me financially if I change my major. I have looked into surgical tech, but it is taking a step backwards. Limited role and opportunity within that role. I know someone personally who started as a surgical tech, and continued her education and became an OR nurse and loves it.

I was thinking of that, but i am having such a hard time changing my attitude right now. I need to get it together or I won't even be able to ever obtain the license. I feel if I'm not happy I won't even make it through nursing school to see what the other areas are like. Ugh

The person i was assigned to in counseling is an intern. She seems fairly young, but maybe a year or two older than myself. I want someone already experienced. No offense to her, but I don't want my experience to be sub par because she is just getting her feet wet in counseling. And I don't feel comfortable confiding in the classmate. I'm older than the classmate, and prefer not to put my weaknesses out there to be the talk amongst other younger classmates. Seems like high school at times.

Is there any student who is thinking of changing their major? Are there any nurses here who thought of changing their major, continued in the program, and ended up hating or loving the profession? Please share!

I guess I keep telling myself one day a spark will go off and I will feel differently. I wish I could make nursing work for me, as I still haven't experienced other units/specialty areas yet, but I just feel unhappy right now. I don't know whether to stay and finish the semester and see how I feel, but risk my gpa for another program, or drop before withdrawal date and seek other options.

. It's just so hard to come to terms with how I feel. I can't stop thinking about what others will say about me and what I decide. And i don't want to regret the decision. I would love to get into the OR one day and that is just about it. I don't enjoy bedside during clinical and dont see myself enjoying it as an RN. But i can't get to the OR w/o getting through school and currently I am disliking it each day. I have been told stick it out there are so many different avenues in nursing and that I don't have to work directly with pts, and the pay blah blah blah. I don't give two craps about the pay. I genuinely care about people and want to help them in some way. I want to be hands on. I don't want to just give medications, and document document document. I am unhappy and it shows. My bf says you don't have to love what you are doing and at times you'll be unhappy but don't be a quitter. He makes me feel like crap that I am throwing away an opportunity with 2 years left.

I am in my second semester (Med/Surg 1).

I am at the point where I am truly considering quitting nursing school. I love helping and taking care of others, but I do not feel I am enjoying what I am doing. I've worked so hard to get here, but I just feel so miserable and depressed. I don't feel competent, lack confidence in my skills, I'm always afraid to speak up and participate in class/clinical, and I'm always thinking I am going to make a mistake. I am always anxious so I dread patient interaction sometimes, and my clinical instructor makes me feel I am not doing what I am supposed to do even when I truly am trying. I have been feeling so down lately and lost my motivation, and I failed my first Med/Surg exam. A classmate always asks me if I am okay and I put on a smile and say I am. I keep hoping something will click and I will snap out of this funk, but each day I feel worse. I was thinking of changing my major, but not sure what else to do at this point. I am losing sleep, developing poor eating habits, and just feel so crappy. I think a career indirectly helping patients may be better for me, but I am so afraid to take that step. I know I will disappoint so many people, especially family. I'm also afraid that I will drop out of nursing school and have so much regret. I read so many stories and posts about people hating nursing and wanting out. The stress, the demand, the lack of resources and staff, the overwhelming documentation just to save the facilities a**. I try and picture where I see myself working after graduating, and which area of nursing will be least stressful but still allow me to care for patients, but I haven't even graduated yet. Instead, I am here in my second semester thinking of all the ways I dislike what I am doing and my performance overall. I started counseling on campus, but it has been ineffective thus far. I wish to reach out to one of my professors, but I feel they may send me to the chairperson of the program or something for seeking advice and in turn, dismiss me from the program. Am I the only student who feels this way? How can I get my motivation back? Is it my lack of confidence preventing me from succeeding, or is this profession just not right for me? Has anyone else considered changing their major?

Well, here I am in my second semester of nursing school. It's a 3 year program for accepted transfer students with prerequisites completed. I am taking Med/Surg 1 (Acute Health) this semester. My first semester (Fundamentals) flew by. I did well in lecture by my grades and in clinical based on my evaluation from my clinical instructor, but deep down I don't feel I did as well as I wanted to. My simulation lab was probably the most dreadful. I was always so shy and timid and never wanted to participate. We were recorded during the simulation, and it was played back for us to review and reflect on the performance. In clinical, I was soft-spoken and afraid to interact with my patients. I always felt extremely awkward and with every motion I was trying to do things perfect but looking an absolute mess. My CI assured me I was doing well and to just relax as it was Fundamentals. As I stated, here I am enrolled in Med/Surg 1 and suffering in silence in a way. My anxiety is starting to go through the roof and I am dreading each school day. I don't feel confident in things I am doing, or the content I am learning. It's like I am so stressed with school and the anxiety I am dealing with makes it so hard for me to focus and concentrate on anything else. It's just like a constant brain fog and almost depressed state that I am so desperately wanting to get out of. (Personal experiences have also contributed to this but NS has made it more difficult). Sometimes it takes me so long to do an assignment because I just can't focus. Then I realize how much time I've wasted and how little time I have for other assignments. The amount of work including 10 papers, care plans, concept maps, presentations, and a hell of a lot more that is required this semester is daunting knowing how poor my time-management skills are. I enjoy helping and taking care of others, but the way I feel is making me second guess my career path. I would love to be a great nurse one day and I feel I worked so hard and waited so long to get here. Then again, I feel like my shyness, anxiety, and poor skills is going to ruin this opportunity I have. Critical thinking is such an important factor in nursing and sometimes I cant even do that. All of these feelings are making me less motivated and feeling like giving up NS. Is this the wrong field for me? I also have added pressure as I feel people are really counting on me in my family. I am the first one in my immediate family to be on the path to obtain a degree. I don't want to let anyone down. Then there is my partner. He is the most supportive person in my life I could have ever asked for. He helps me with purchasing school supplies, and he even pays some of my bills so I can work minimal hours to focus on school. At times, he leaves himself with absolutely nothing just to make sure I am taken care of. We talked about me changing my career path and he says I need to do what is best for me. He said I will be a quitter though and I am making excuses like I usually do. He is putting his career goals on hold while I go to school to help me, so when I graduate our roles can switch. I know nursing isnt for everyone, but I wish I could make it work for me. I have my interest in wound-care or perioperative nursing. I don't see myself as a typical floor nurse, and prefer working in something more of a specialized, specific field. I can't make it there if I do not make it through nursing school. I feel so lost at this point. I see everyone else in my class extremely confident in patient interaction and content. Then, I ask myself if nursing is truly where I want to be? Can I get over the fears I am having and my personal conflicts within myself? The only other career that I have an interest in is pathology assisting which was my 1st career choice. It's unrealistic for me at this point being that a BS is required for application, GRE exam is required, and there are only about 10 schools in the country offering this program. I am unable to get up and move halfway across the country at this point in my life. Might I add employment opportunities may be limited. On a better note, I found out my school offers personal/mental health counseling that addresses stress, anxiety, problem-solving skills, career advancement, etc. I scheduled an appointment for next week. Ugh. I'm just mentally exhausted. Any advice/direction is appreciated. 😓😥😢

I am not sure how temporary it will be as I'm going through consistent therapy hoping to be 110% by the time school starts. And clinicals start our first semester unlike some schools I have read about. I am going to discuss this with my doctor just as a precautionary measure.