Emergent

I'm not sure if a 'safe space' is a place to not hear other points of view? The OP seems to be handling this conversation in a classy, respectful way in my opinion. I don't think she's a fragile snowflake. Yes, you're going varying responses, especially with a hot topic such as race. Various types of people see these issues in different ways.

I've worked with people who I thought were too aggressive. I don't know how you're coming across. Sometimes people get stressed and a little bossy, and it does irritate other people. It took a while for me to learn to nicely ask someone to rephrase things when I felt they were coming on too strong. I think it's better to do it in the moment. It's better than being a passive aggressive and backbiting, or silently fuming.

I'm not Black, but I have experienced being on the outside of a workplace clique. It's very uncomfortable. Having supportive coworkers is really vital. I always have voted with my feet. Nursing units all have their own culture. Some are toxic and can be dominated by the mean girls club. Others are friendly, supportive, and inclusive of all personalities and types of people. I prefer the later.

Was this a specific incident where coworkers thought you were coming on too strong? You aren't being very specific. Did you get reprimanded by management for this so-called aggressive behavior? Obviously, you feel that you were targeted because you are a Black person. Did people say something specific to make you suspect a racial bias? Are there other Black people at your workplace? If so, what are their experiences?

@Davey Do ?

Now this is supremely amusing... Somebody actually gave me a thumbs down on the advice that I think is the most important!??

Quit eating junk food.

They stood you up? These people sound so inconsiderate and unprofessional!

How did that go?

If you have a union, bring your union person into the meeting.

You're welcome. Things that worked for me were as follows: The triage nurse had a habit of getting flustered, bossy, rude to me when bringing up patients to my rooms. In the moment (at the nurses station in front of others) I calmly said 'I don't like the way you are talking to me, please rephrase that in a polite way'. She did, and after that she treated me much more respectfully. An ER tech had a bad habit of getting bossy, and embarrassing me in front of the patients. At first I was tongue tied, not wanting to make a scene. Finally, I put her in her place, in front of the patient. I told her to not talk to me like that, reminding her that I'm the RN and will make these decisions. She never repeated this behavior and we went on to have a good working relationship.

In my experience, calling out unprofessional behavior in the moment it happens is the most effective way to address it. If there's an audience to witness it, all the better. Don't hesitate to do it in front of a patient. People like this bank on you keeping your mouth shut to avoid a scene. They are bullies. Practice scenarios in your head ahead of time so you won't be caught off guard. If you're like a lot of us, you think of just the right response the next day. Running to management should be avoided if possible. But, keep a careful record of dates, times, and descriptions of these incidents in the event that you do resort to that.

That doesn't sound very kind or understanding of other people with different opinions.

What's wrong with blue collar occupations or staying home to raise your children? My most successful son is an HVAC technician, owns a house, has a wife who stays home with my granddaughters, and they are the most intelligent and well-adjusted children I've seen for a long time.

Well, I wasn't planning on leaving all nurses except if they required me to even remember the password that I used or the email. Google remember my password even when my phone died and I changed carriers, so if that's good enough I'll visit now and then.

Checking in. Looks like I'm still logged in! Maybe us old timers are grandfathered in?

Looks like this thread is now consigned to the trash heap. See guys on Nurses with Cards!

I don't like that I can't see who liked a post. Also, the site is too sanitized and politically correct. It lost its spice, and became bland. I might as well be interacting with an AI bot.

Just Google Brian Short, allnurses, and you will get the story. I don't know what happened in 2019.

I still have your email, let's keep in touch now and then!

I think this type of online forum, in general, is on the way out. Other types of media have become more popular. The problem with Facebook used to be anonymity. They've solved that now. So, I'll be here until the end of the year. I'll check in until then. Thanks Brian for starting this forum!

It's been interesting and eye-opening to participate here. But, I don't even know how to access the email I opened this account with. I haven't used it in years. I still check in, but this site is not as busy or lively as it used to be. Since I got into the school nurse substituting gig, I joined a Facebook school nurse page that is very active, and you can switch to an anonymous mode if you feel like that would be wiser. I've learned a lot there, just like I learned a lot here. Wishing you all a Happy New Year! Farewell Allnurses, it's been a good ride!

I doubt if a living, breathing human will read your email. The emails you've been getting are probably AI generated. Computers are being allowed to take over the world...

There is no best shoe. I personally wear Merrell Dassies. They are slip-on, they feel secure on my feet, and they support my high arches. Everybody has a different shaped foot. What works for one person won't work for another. If you are having problems, I would advise having a professional evaluate your feet and give recommendations. Or experiment, and see what works for you. I personally can't tolerate heels at all, they throw my posture off. Ever since I was a kid I couldn't wear uncomfortable shoes. I also like a lot of room for my toes to spread out, and a lot of modern shoes cramp the toes. I've always treated my feet very well, and so I have very healthy looking feet in my older years. But what works for my feet wouldn't work for somebody else's with flat arches, and a different shaped foot.

It should be a crime for your patient to withhold her her HIV+ status from her boyfriend, in my opinion. What a selfish, terrible person she is!