Athariel

Thanks for the reply. As crazy as it sounds, I never even considered the future and how I would be as a nurse if I graduated tomorrow with all the stress of school and all the minutiae of Clinical and Theory. I did sit and consider it, though. Prior to thinking about it like that (eg if I graduated tomorrow) I was sort of on the fence. You are right. People skills and inspiring trust are the basics, really. Stuff that should click naturally, if I put myself out there enough. It isn't even a matter of shyness - just extreme discomfort with intimacy. That is why it threw me off so much and confused me, initially (why I seem good at security work but suddenly started struggling and dreading the "people" part of Nursing). I just never realized how intimate patient/nurse stuff was till I got my first few complaints of making patients uncomfortable in Clinicals. I think I always looked at Nurses as solving physical problems. Going through the class simply hoping that I don't get difficult patients and situations rather than hoping for them as learning experiences is a sign that I am not going to be a good nurse. I think patients deserve better than that. The best choice will be for me to finish out this semester (too late for a refund and a headache to deal with financial aid and what not at this point) then pursue something away from intimate interactions with people in a related field. I can teach easily, speak in front of groups (weirdly, never feel any anxiety in group speaking or speech giving), and handle interpersonal office stuff but this exceedingly uncomfortable intimate stuff is for the birds. I can't do something that requires this sort of thing for a living and even if I could fake it, I would want better for my family if it were reversed. I think I will start studying coding when Christmas break gets here and go for Health Information Management. Thanks for helping me put things in a clearer perspective. And thanks to all who responded for giving me some clarity.

Merriwhen: Yes, detaching is the hard thing. I used to help care for an uncle who lost his legs and much of his mobility to a bad MRSA infection where it seemed to just melt him and really wrecked his life to the extent he eventually died. Just gave up. I dislike problems that can't be solved easily, intensely, but when it comes to people there is a hard science for healing (vancomyicin in his case, for example). At least healing the body - healing the mind is a nightmare. Part of what drew me to nursing was wanting to learn the secrets of not being helpless when it came to people like my late uncle any longer. Unfortunately, I carry more issues with that then I thought as well and have a huge amount of time not thinking about them. Even now I am kind of going over and over in my head about some suicidal guy that wasn't even my patient along with all I have served so far. I suppose if I can't detach from these worries and thoughts then this job will consume me before long. ianguatarist: I hadn't even considered the dental route. I will look into that. While the mouth may not be very critical, it is something that can help people and may make a difference for others all the same (even if not at the same level as a Nurse would). Thanks for the idea. Esme12: Oh, I know that I can't snap. And I look at patients as components because the components, at least in my view, are the big thing to check on. A patient with septicemia from a ruptured abscess on her gall bladder will be killed by it, whether she is a saint or a total monster. The components don't care; if they fail, the patient dies. Thus, I focus on them. Perhaps to my detriment, as I am learning. I never gave emotions, spirituality, or psychology much thought before this class. I am beginning to see that my view on treating patients was in error and that I may have the wrong mindset for being a good Nurse. Don't worry about me becoming a bad Nurse or something; if I feel my presence would be more detrimental to a patient than not and if I can't be a people person like others then I will opt out of the program. Sick people deserve better people to care for them than I. And thanks for your concern on the obsessive issue - I hadn't even considered that it would cause me to become so attached to patients to the point where I would snap and stress out so much. Thankfully, I am talking to someone about it now. Sadly, no easy pill I can take for it like depression or OCD. I had hoped that pharmacology held some cure for this but, evidently, it will take effort and a whole lot of time to fix. Time is a commodity that Nursing School seems intent on consuming. Still, I am making it work, if barely. So thanks for the encouragement to that end.

Merriwhen: I can already tell that I get too attached to people to be a very objective or great nurse. I have a tendency to view sick people almost like children who need to be taken care of and can be a bit overbearing. Hard to maintain an objective, scientific mind when emotional. I guess part of being a Nurse is learning not to care about the patients so much that it becomes personal and you stay objective, right? I will have to work on that. swansonplace: I am looking at that side of it now, yes. It is too late to drop the class and go for something else so I am sticking with it. Who knows; maybe it will all magically come together for me suddenly and go right. If not, I will at least enjoy the experience of new things. I paid the money so I should at least do that much. Grad2012: Sounds like you had some naturals in your class. I envy people who can change their expressions like that and become people persons without much effort, going back and forth between mad/sad and happy/carefree in the blink of an eye. When I am stressed out I tend to look angry, even when smiling (I have a villain smile, or so a fellow clinical student told me in jest haha) I can be passable, at least, with a lot of work. Better to be cold and aloof then scary, so it is progress. ThePrincessBride: Funny enough, my clinical instructor actually mentioned OR Nursing for me as well due to my excelling in other aspects not dealing with people. I am on a rotation to do OR by the end of the month, I believe, so I am looking forward to seeing how it is in there. priorities12: Oh that was a mischaracterization on my part - my apologies. You don't fail for just that and you do get chances to improve on stuff you are badly rated on. My Nursing school doesn't grade like other schools I have been to - it is a bit odd. I am used to percentages (You know the type; 90 to 100% is an A, 80 to 89% is a B, etc). This one doesn't use percentages, it uses a list of factors with each being marked with an S or a U, respectively. S stands for Satisfactory and U for Unsatisfactory (so there is just pass and fail - no convoluted percentage systems). The issue they made to me about it is that if you show a lack of improvement in a single area three clinicals in a row, you fail. There is a Needs Improvement rating too but she says that that will be used less and less as time goes on, since by the end of first semester we should know our stuff well enough. For example, for taking vital signs and properly documenting them if you failed to do them to an acceptable degree and got a U for three clinical sessions in a row, you get drummed out. This professor has been somewhat kind on it but warned that later professors for clinical may not be so it would be good to get used to talking to patients in a friendly way. I have gotten a Needs Improvement and a Unsatisfactory already but it is enough to cause some panic that I am in the wrong line of work.

Esme: It isn't that I dislike the patients at all; it is quite the opposite. Part of why my stress causing me to see it as me versus them is so alarming is for that reason. The woman I was dealing with was having crazy high heart rate and had become septic due to an abscess that had broken into her blood stream, evidently, and messed her blood and insides up something fierce. Much of the nurse staff was busy and I wanted to help with her, in particular, since she was such a mess, but I just don't know how to inspire confidence in others. I am much better at inspiring fear, like a father to a kid more than a mother. Part of her issue was refusing medications she needed too; she was just generally very fearful and difficult, which upset me because she could have died, rights or none, from refusing stuff. When the nursing instructor began to bust my chops about not havign done much of the vitals and med check by the time the other students had, I snapped and simply became intent on getting them. Eventually, one of the charismatic nurses came in and helped teach her while I helped the CNA on the floor adjust patients for the rest of the day. Hence why I began thinking this job might not be for me. brian_j: I do try to make conversation but smiling has always been an issue with me. I always feel like I can't quite access both my thinking and my people skills at the same time. I do inform patients of what I am going to do but carry it out more like a robot than a person because it all has so much riding on it and needs to be done right. I can appreciate that approach though and do somewhat envy people who know how to smile and be personable. kaydensmom01: That is why I don't want to give up on it. I will see how far I get with my countenance. It may just magically click or something like I read it happening with some others. Dranger: I do intend to stick to it. I just wasn't really aware of what the career entailed before joining up. I figured you followed orders from doctors and things would be clear cut - not so much having to anticipate problems before they happen and so on. minnibrown/Caribbean_Character: I agree, it is clearly abnormal. I would like to change it but this tends to be how I react in high stress situations (eg I become aggressive). I am trying to curb it but don't get me wrong in thinking I am angry at the patient. In truth, I am angry at the school for turning my grade into a crap shoot (I got an Unsatisfactory for getting Vitals and when I brought it up, the teacher basically said "Learn to inspire trust in strangers, fast, or expect to fail this course"). Hence the thread asking for Plan B's, just in case this is a permanent problem. nrobinson: I have never been much of a people person. I thought I was but clinicals and class have showed me that I have relied on my size and intimidating demeanor to get what I want from others without realizing it. While I do care about others, maybe pursuing a less people oriented part of medicine might be a good idea. I will look into it. truckinusa/Merriwhen: That is part of what I dislike; I don't like the idea of someone being in pain because they are too foolish/misguided/strong headed to accept medication for it. I also don't like that a patient refusing a medication they need to combat their illness isn't considered "threat to self" but if a patient says he is going to the roof to jump off it is suddenly is okay to deny them their right to choose. Whether jumping off the roof or refusing medication to treat sepsis, it is suicide either way. I don't understand that rationale and never will, I think. As for if it was me, I can't imagine a time I would turn down medical advice so I don't understand a mentality of someone like that (and that maybe part of my problem). To me it is like someone who refuses to drink water when dying of thirst or something. cmurra: I do always document, at least. That is one thing I have been good at. Yuppers1: I have seen a few of the informatics type things that seem interesting to me. Where I can help people, make a living at it, and cut the weakest component out of the picture (eg my personality) when it comes to giving that aid. Working from the shadows has always been my style anyways, since way back in grade school. Perhaps I just haven't been playing to my strengths. swanson: I will check on that. I remember taking it and getting something silly like artist or author. Something that doesn't really have much in the way of job security or the like. Still, that was years back so maybe I have changed and should retry it. I will give it a shot.

That depends; what are your grades like, normally, in other classes? Have you always been a 4.0 GPA without really trying kind of student? If not, then I might get somewhat worried because you maybe stuck with an easy Nursing School. Check it's accreditation and look at other programs if it is not accredited properly. Nursing School is supposed to be hard because being a Nurse that is worth a damn is hard. If your Nursing School is easy, they are doing you a disservice by taking your money while putting you under the impression that everything will work out fine once you get in the field. Worse yet, they are doing your potential patients a disservice, and they are the whole reason Nursing exists. Alternately, you could just be really bright. If you are finding this easy because you are smart then good for you! We need smart people for this career; I hope you go far in it. If that is the case you might consider getting a Masters Degree in it becoming Nurse Practitioner or the like.

I don't but in my case it is an extension of my self injuring stuff (I eat when I feel out of control or stressed to explicitly harm myself for not living up to my own expectations of myself). There has been a lot of that around the board. Everyone handles the stress differently, so I don't think you should feel bad if you are out of control or just can't seem to work out. Some people simply don't feel that stress as much (just better at grasping the nursing stuff, better at time management, etc). Don't go comparing your struggles to other people or beating yourself up; I go to class with a girl focusing on becoming a Nurse Practitioner who is just naturally good at this stuff and a natural at clinical and theory - if I compared myself to her, I would always feel bad. Just do what you can.

I have nearly thirty thousand in student loans now. Have an associates degree from another school in what might as well be underwater basket weaving for all the good it has done me. What I have learned to do is to live on very little. I drive a two hundred dollar white crap-mobile and I intend to live this way after graduation. I may have it easier as a guy who is into other guys and has no kids; with roomies I can survive off six hundred a month. Assuming I make it out of school and bust my tail, if I do wind up making 30 dollars an hour then I can pay my loan off in one and a half years. One thing I highly suggest is, take advantage of that six month grace period on the loan. Throw big money at that thing early, before the percentage charge kicks in (because that is based off the total loan, so if you hammer that loan down during the six month grace period, that makes the overall increase from the interest smaller, right?) Nursing school allows for no other side work, but I would plan to live frugally, if possible. Seems the best approach to me.

I am somewhat similar. My notes are written/drawn in a sketchbook because that is how I learn. They would be of little help to anyone else. I tried a notebook but gave up on those years ago. And I rarely ever need to check the notes again, either, as I tend to retain information that way with little to no studying.

Does your dad pay for school? If not, you are an adult and this doesn't concern him. I know that is easier said than done but part of growing up with some parents is getting them to recognize that you aren't their belonging to mold as they see fit beyond a point. If he does, then I would suggest getting with financial aid. Also, is nursing something you want to do or did he push for it? I sit near a girl who's family pushed her towards nursing and she is struggling because she doesn't have a passion for it.

I am curious to hear from those who have considered this or who maybe approached many options; what do my prerequisites to get into the Nursing School allow me to go for if Nursing turns out to not be for me? I have heard of Health Information Management but what other options exist, if any? I wouldn't even know how to look, to be honest. Similar questions have been asked but those were specific to Pre Nursing. While the options maybe the same, perhaps there is something that would be a good fit to segway into after getting in. Thanks in advance for responses. Backstory/Venting (Feel Free to Skip) I find myself having to ask this now as I am not sure I am cut out to be a nurse. I am struggling with tests, but I can study more and master those, easily. I am confident in my next exam and expect a high B if not a low A. My issues have been with Clinical work (eg the most important part of Nursing School). I love filling out the paperwork. I love the Nursing Care plans and even aced my first Nursing Care Plan, my only issue being my rationales didn't cite page numbers, only the book sources (others in my Clinical group had trouble staying focused on one Nurse Diagnosis whereas I had no trouble with that). Sadly, paired with my knack for memorizing medical jargon well enough to sound smarter than I am, that is where my talents in Nursing tend to dry up. I approach patients with an earnest wish to help but tend to look at them as a sack of fascinating components rather than people. I felt this was justified since Maslow's Heirarchy makes it clear that Physical well being is more important than Psycho-Social well being but my instructor has made it clear that unless I manage to become more human with my patients, I won't be getting through Nursing School. One I was asked to get a full set of Vital Signs for complained that she hadn't been comfortable with me taking her apical pulse or checking under the blanket for sores and ulcers but that she felt intimidated into letting me. This is true and I do own up to it; I had run into problems with her allowing me to take vital signs and being, generally, very difficult. I approached it in kindness, initially, but when it became clear that my grade for clinicals was going to be jeopardized when she stone walled I relied on my old bouncer/security guard mainstay (eg nothing too big, or so I though; stepping just in inch closer than is comfortable, maintaining unnerving, unbroken eye contact, speaking in a curt yet persistent way, etc - I am not proud of it, but I am a big, uncharismatic, scary guy and this has always been my means of garnering compliance from others when avoiding/quelling/convincing them wasn't an option). I feel like much of this comes down to inherent brain function and personality stuff; things you can't just study for. I don't like how this makes me feel. I don't like that I am viewing my clinical patients as obstacles to my success rather than sick human beings that need my help, more and more. I am sticking with it but if this doesn't click and I find that I can't deal with this, I would like a Plan B to opt into instead.

Thanks a lot ladies and gentleman who responded to my last and previous comments. I didn't know schools even provided such services before the responses (never would have thought to check) but my school does, in fact, have such a service (advertised mostly for addicts, but they provide for all mental issues and can refer). I am getting with them on this, currently. It maybe a bit overwhelming on top of nursing school and from what I have heard, I can't expect overnight changes in my thinking, but I hope it helps. Sorry I didn't respond sooner - got busy with nursing school stuff. I have also been turned onto a Plan B (Health Information Management) if I do get overwhelmed so I am not quite as worried as before.

That was for him but I may go ahead and check that book out too. Hadn't heard of it before. Thanks

I managed to get in with a 2.8 GPA but I Aced my HESI and live in a different area. I am not sure you can really compare schools across states like this, you know? That said, different Nursing Schools have different requirements (at least where I live). Some took total GPA (I got into that one) while others only take into account the classes needed for the program (so if you took a bunch of art classes to prop your GPA it wouldn't matter to them because they only cared how you did on A&P, Micro, and so on). Could you find one of the latter where you are? Sorry, I wish I could help more. It seems silly to have to take such a class again so why spend money to torture yourself, needlessly, if you don't have to?

I am a new Nursing Student still in first semester, but I would suggest not second guessing yourself. I have changes several right answers to wrong ones because I went back on my previous instinct when answering a question. I watched a YouTube video where the woman doing it mentioned that one of the ways she studied for tests was working through the ADPIE thing on every disease mentioned in assigned chapters. Like for Blood Glucose actually working through Assessment of Diabetes type 1 and 2, Diagnosis (to practice Nurse Diagnosis and not slip into Medical diagnosis), and often did two diseases back to back, to help her learn them (doing Hypertension and then Hypotension and comparing seemed to help her remember them better, for example). I wish I could find the vid I was so stressed out and up all night I was watching vids to learn stuff and wound up cycling on through it. Still, as a fellow who learns similarly (mimicking others, doing myself, and visual) her approach appeals. Part of what is screwing me up is having to apply knowledge rather than just memorizing it. Don't give up, though. I and others like us are struggling so you aren't alone.

I am discovering this to be the case. I am much better suited to being someone who takes orders and submits to a superior than taking the reins and running on my own. I can act on the fly but it is either critical thinking or action with me, not both. I suppose Nursing has a lot of different applications beyond direct patient care. I want to work with patients (my liking and wanting to help people is part of the reason I signed up to begin with) but if I am going to be a danger to them I suppose I could try for a position where I am filing stuff and not threatening others. I will have to look into the options available post graduation, then. Thanks for the candor. I suppose a followup question, generally, would be in a worst case scenario, assuming this is a permanent part of me, are there places in Nursing for people who have my issues? Should I have shot for LPN instead so I would be under someone? Or maybe have just stayed away from healthcare entirely? Hopefully not the last option as this was kind of a gamble towards making a better life and I have no Plan B if I fail here - I just go back to square one with Student Debt on top of all my old problems.