bizzylizzy3

Not my circus, not my monkeys.

The people are fun! I am continually surprised by the things they say. I have been on all shifts now, and day shift is what works best for me. I would like to work in the hospital, but it seems such a daunting process to get in. I've never worked anywhere but nursing homes since I started as a CNA.

I feel a sense of dread about work lately. I know that it is always about the same. I have tried moving to a different facility, but that only helps for a little while. I'm so frustrated, I have a medication aide license, and I do that job prn, but I am mostly working the floor and I'm tired of it. I enjoy people, but the physical work in this job (cna), is really starting to take a toll. I am on a secure Alzheimer's unit, and I am tired of fighting with people to get dressed, take showers, eat...etc. I really think I want to be doing something else. I used to want to be a nurse, but that desire is gone. I can go to the schedule coordinator, and ask to be moved, but I think it would be a temporary fix. I didn't come here to complain, more to ask for help. I don't like the way I'm feeling, and I'm considering options for change. Hopefully, some ideas?

My first instinct is to say stay where you are. It even seems you want that from what you've written. It isn't that you don't know what to do. You've laid it out right here. The other job that pays more is not ideal because of the reasons you have already stated. Step out in faith (in yourself) and trust your instincts. It takes courage to make a decision. Say confidently to yourself "This other job is not right for me, I will turn it down." Do just that. You will be fine, and probably be a lot less stressed out while you complete your Master's, best of luck to you.

I have been trying assisted living. I do not own a car, so home health may not be an option for me. It seems that the hospitals all want 1+years of experience. What is a veteran home? I will not give up.

I have been looking for a CNA position for over a year. I have had a few interviews, have applied with both my clinical sites, and never heard anything back from them. Recently, I had an interview that went really well. I liked the people, they liked me, and I thought that it could work out. There was, of course, the hiring process. Look at the applications, interview other candidates, etc. So, after about a week, I start calling them to check on my application. It took another week to get someone on the phone, who said they would call me back mid-afternoon. Two days later, I finally get said contact person on the phone. He says that they really liked me, really enjoyed my interview, but that a lot of other applicants had come in with more experience and the team wanted someone with more experience. He said that the Executive Director is holding onto my application and if something comes up...Anyway. So that is my story, I am up front with people both on the phone and during the interview that I don't have experience beyond clinicals and having cared for loved ones in the past. How do I get a foot in the door and overcome the no experience, no job situation? My strategy right now is apply for any and all facilities, and talk to people who work in these types of facilities.

I like your process! I think I will treat this like a homework assignment and see how far I get. I will take A-D and treat them like questions for the assignment. Thanks.

Thanks so much! You are certainly right about the subject being at the front of my mind. It seems that I must write about that before I write about anything else! I think that it is one of the reasons I want to be a nurse though, I want to help people, especially women who have been in abusive situations. After I wrote this essay, I found out that I am supposed to be writing an entirely different one! I have started the new essay, and I hope my patient readers will indulge me once again. I should be finished in a week or two. Indeed, I will be writing on other matters that must be discussed, but I hope to find another outlet for them, perhaps an anonymous blog? Much cheaper than psychotherapy, lol. By the way, how do I turn a strong desire to help abused women into an essay about life goals for nursing school? I have started with my academic path thus far, and am not sure how to "get there"?

Thank you for your input. I totally understand #1. I will look at the creativity angle. #3 Seems difficult. I will give it some espresso-charged thought. I am not sure I understand how to do the fourth suggestion. Do you mean " I want to be a nurse because..."? Also, what do you think about the pedophile grandpa? Should I take it out? I think it is important to show the struggle we sometimes face with our clients. When I was writing, my thoughts were that I wanted to illustrate the internal struggle between empathy and anger over what this person had done. One thing is sure, it is a work in progress!

Thank you so much! I did think that maybe the horror story about my grandfather might be a bit much. I did want to emphasize caring for unpleasant people though. I will re-read the essay, and try to eliminate the clichés, as you suggest. The hardest part of writing for me has always been getting started. I have many stories in my head, I don't always know how to put them on paper.

I am working on an essay for an LPN program application. I know I am taking a risk by posting it here, it might really suck, you guys might say: "How is this relevant to why you want to be a nurse?" But I am really hoping I can get some good feedback to make this essay the best it can be. Please let me know what you think: Why do I want to be a nurse? I think my desire to help people started when I was quite young. I remember driving my mother and father crazy while I "treated" them with my doctor kits and band-aids. I even had an intensive care kit for my cabbage patch kids. Later, my grandmother got sick with diabetes and liver cancer. There was nothing I could do. I watched her go from a vibrant, fun person, who took me to dance class; to someone who had to wear wigs and couldn't hold down a meal. I knew at eight years old that I was powerless to stop the monster that was destroying my grandmother from the inside out. Still, the experience stayed with me. Later, I watched my mother struggle to care for me and my sister as a single parent. She worked two menial, low paying jobs to barely keep the lights on. I knew two things; she didn't deserve that, and I definitely didn't want it for my life in the future. I did whatever I could to help her; watching my younger brother and sister, keeping the house clean, and trying to be supportive. There were many times that I was the glue that held our family together;many times that I helped her keep her head. I know that my mother prayed every night for some kind of help with bills and support. It finally came in the form of her dad, my grandfather. Unfortunately, this help came at a great price. At first, it was great to have a grandpa again, he helped mom with the bills and took us out to dinner, he bought us things that we couldn't have afforded otherwise. We were very thankful for his help. What we didn't know was my grandfather was a pedophile. I started getting suspicious when he would spend large amounts of time and money with my sister. They seemed very close, and I didn't think too much about it at first. I wanted my sister to have a father figure to love her. Our dad didn't. I didn't want to see what was going on right in our faces. My mom was working all the time, so maybe she didn't see it either. The abuse went on for two years. I wish that I would have noticed, or taken seriously the "jokes" my sister made about her and my grandfather. My grandfather was having problems with choking and getting food down. He was diagnosed with a hiatal hernia. While receiving treatment for the hernia, an x-ray was done that showed a mass on his lung. He was then diagnosed with lung cancer. He went through all of the radiation and chemotherapy, but the cancer metastasized to another part of his body. I was no longer living at home by that time, but I remember the call, I remember the shock. About a year later, I get a call from my mom that he didn't have much longer and could I come home and take care of him? Of course I agreed. I will never forget how I felt when he came down the hall; a walking, talking skeleton! I mean, it was like something out of a horror movie! My heart dropped to the floor. I knew my mother was right. He was running out of time. What could he possibly need me for? I had no nursing knowledge. I had very little caregiver experience, other than a live in position with a diabetic, where I just made sure he took his meds and made meals for him. I found out that my "job" would just be to keep him company, keep him comfortable. I brought him drinks, made sure he had his oxygen cannula on, and sat listening to him talk for hours. I really had mixed feelings about the situation. I loved my grandfather, in spite of his flaws, and at the same time, I was ****** off because he raped my sister and threatened her life if she told anyone. I had moments where I thought, "I know what I'd like to do with your life!" Yet I never said a word to him about what happened. I talked to the nurses that came to see him a few times a week. They said it wouldn't be hard to learn body mechanics and become a nurse's aid. I was too scared. I was scared of doing harm. After my grandfather died, I went to my local community college to look at requirements for nursing school. It was daunting. I took the assessment tests and would have had to start at the bottom for math. I wasn't ready. The dream did not die though. Ten years later I drummed up the courage to enroll in college classes. I was a single mom, just like my mother, but I didn't want to struggle, and I wanted a better life for my daughter. I have been working on my pre-requisites for nursing since 2009, doggedly pursuing the coveted place in a nursing program. In this time, I have been homeless, living in hotels, in cars, on a city bus, in shelters, and finally, in transitional housing. When I say I "doggedly" pursued my goal, I am saying that I took hold of my dream like a Rottweiler and did not let go; no matter how many people hit me with a brick, and believe me, there were a lot of bricks. I think one of the qualities that makes a good nurse is tenacity. The ability to keep going no matter what is going on, to stay with a task, even when it seems you are failing. To never give up. You also need compassion, empathy, and a whole lot of good common sense. Ok, so this is my first draft. consider it a work in progress. Help if you can. I wait anxiously for your replies. Thanks.

I certainly wish you the best and hope that you pass. We all make mistakes in such a nerve-wrecking situation. My personal example: It had been more than a year between the CNA class and the time I took my skills exam. I had studied my self-made flash cards for weeks, talked myself through the test, and had a horrible time figuring out how to put on a gait belt! I am left handed, and the only way I could get it to work was upside down! I thought I failed for sure. Colorado is a state where you get your results right away, so I was elated when I saw "passed" on my paper. I think you will be ok, though.

Thanks hodgieRN. I take full responsibility for my performance on the HESI. I studied very hard for the math portion, because it is my worst subject. I did not study at all for the Biology portion, and I rushed through that part too. It is the only section that I missed by 2 points. I am currently interviewing for CNA positions. If I get a CNA position, will that give me insight on whether I want to do nursing? As far as shadowing someone, where would I begin?

I began my journey to nursing school in September 2009. I have been taking pre-reqs and worrying about grades, money, housing and lots of other things since then. I have a couple of different nursing school apps in a folder, and have done some of the things necessary to apply, but I keep getting stuck. Either it is a document I can't get ahold of, or missing the score requirement for a section of the HESI by 2 points! I can't seem to get it together. My grades are ok, I meet the GPA requirements, so why am I so freaked out about this? Why am I so reluctant to apply for my dream? Just so I am being clear here, I have an app for an LPN program, and one for an RN ADN program. I am questioning if I really want this, or if it is just terror. Some days I think, my God, what am I doing to myself? Other days it is "you mean you haven't turned in the application yet? What are you waiting for?". Can someone help?