Joshi

My mum too was very sick in bed for 10 days with what was known as "the Red Flu". Many vulnerable people had died from it, but my mum was young and in her early twenties. One particular night she saw an image of a monk in the corner of the room who was beckoning her to follow him, she argued that there was no way she could since she had two small children to care for. The next morning we awoke to find mum fit and healthy in the kitchen making our breakfast.

Dreams?? This is quite a long one, so make yourself comfortable. I was engaged to Joe for 3 years before we split, a great deal of animosity and aggression ensued the split so I made a life changing decision to emigrate from Uk to Antigua. During my time with him I always had a dread of loss and feared something was going to to happen. To cut a long story shorter, when I arrived in Antigua I told a friend over lunch that Joe would be dead within a year... and as predicted, he was killed rather horrifically in a vehicle accident. I was not surprised nor saddened by the news, but strangely felt relieved....? Perhaps it was closure.. i dunno!! Anyway, 3 months after he died I was lay dozing on the chair when I heard footsteps and a shadow move accross the gallery... then I heard the familiar "Hiya babe" and Joes face was smiling at me through the window. I rose up shocked and said " Hi.. what are you doing here". He told me he just wanted to come and see me and sat next to me on the chair. Then a young girl of about 12 years old, with long blond hair followed him in the room. I felt very confortable with her and held her close to me when she sat next to me. I sensed Joe getting quite agitated and the little girl got up and skipped in to the bedroom where my 3 month old baby was sleeping. As I turned to Joe and told him I think he should go, my baby started crying. In that same second I opened my eyes and the room was empty, yet everything was the same, my clothes, the TV program etc. I went in to my babys room and as I was feeding him I tried to analyse what had just happened. It didnt feel like a dream, it seemed like I was just in another dimension... and who was the girl?? Maybe it was the baby I lost when I was 15 weeks pregnant many years before............ Two weeks later, I was definately in bed dreaming..... joe came to me again, he was keen to tell me how sorry he was for everything that happened between us. We talked and I asked him how he was, he told me he was fine .. just a little bored!! I asked if he had been to visit his mum, he told me nahhhh (aka no) but I encouraged that he should becuase she would be worried, I even suggested that he phone her... he laughed a little before saying.... Joshi....Im dead!! I proceeded to ask.... so, whats it like then? He looked at me quizzically before asking "what?". I said "you know... up there..." whilst pointing up to the heavens. He told me that this is it... this is all there is...??? Finally he told me he had to leave but asked if it would be okay for him to visit me again. Of course I told him yes but that was the last visit that I am aware of,,,, although I do talk to him quite often when Im alone. Over the years I have experienced many many incidents that can only be described as strange. I can remember an old lady that used to sit and chat with me when I was a toddler and dismissing images that appear in my head which turn out to be a true event days later.

With tears in my eyes... I applaud you too!!

My child was born in the UK and HIV testing is only done at the request of the Mother. THroughout my pregnancy I too was scared of HIV, not because I was ever promiscuous or had riske encounters, infact I have only ever had 4 partners and I am 36 years old. The fear came because I had unprotected sex with my previous long term partners and in essense, you are also sleeping with all their partners etc. I became obsessive and questioned if every illness I suffered was becuase I had HIV!! I still refused to get tested becuase not knowing gave me an irrational hope that I may not have it. 5 years later, I have a very healthy little boy but continued to quetion his illnesses too. The crunch time came when I HAD to get life insurance for the house we were buying, I very nearly pulled out becuase I was physically sick with fear and paranoia of taking a HIV Test. In the doctors office I was visibly trembling and managed to get myself in to such a frightful state and all "What If's" were swimming around my mind. I do sympathize with the young lady because I can relate to the anxiety she is living with. I guess the moral of the story is 'sooner or later you will find yourself in a position where it is necessary to take the test!! Im happy to say that my test was negative and the releif was absalutely enormous. A huge cloud was removed from my life and I was not afraid to question my families future. Just put an end to your misery and get tested. I wish you and your daughter luck.