As a nurse with 12 yrs experience i can only imagine what you are going through,there are times when you got to stoop to conquer but if you are not happy with what you do you will always be depressed,for you got to love what you do with great passion that is the only way to enjoy it.but if you not happy i will say get out of it do not suffer yourself like this,you deserve to be happy life is too short to worry please be happy and live again.