MissBeanerRN

I feel you on your view of death. I can say I am definitely freaked out when it comes to thinking about death. The thought of being gone from this world is not what scares me, its the thought of dying a painful or slow, and painful death. The thought that I have not made peace with a lot of the demons that plague me is what scares me. I wouldn't be ready if I were to die tomorrow, and making peace with your lifes issues and especially yourself isn't necessarily a fast proccess. Now although death freaks me the h*** out, I also find death scientifically facinating and seen some very peaceful deaths among the not so peaceful. I cope by finding inner peace and living in the now and plan ahead but not too ahead because you never know. I do things I enjoy, spend time with family have fun and do my job. When I experience a death that trully affects me, I spend time alone. If it was a death that ****** me off, Ill yell and cuss and just be ****** off alone in a place I can do that and not direct it at anybody, or Ill work out and channel the anger by running, lifting, or punch a boxing bang. Ill talk to someone that will listen, or Ill cry if I need to, or listen to music. Sometimes Im in a place where I can't cuss or yell and have to keep it in, if its bad enough I have to run to the bathroom or small private area and just have a good cry...then I go about my day. You have to let it out somehow or it will eat you up, or worse you will take it out on someone that had nothing to do with it, or youll get into some trouble, I should know. I also feel you on the death of Nate Dogg, I grew up listening to Nate, he's the one I'm listening to when Im working out, angry or not, after a good cry, or when Im just kicking it. We lost one of West Coast best, may he rest in peace...cuz like Cube said..."it ain't a hit till Nate Dogg spit":redbeathe.

Oh, forgot to add that there is no wrong in wanting your bank. I sure want and enjoy mine. I might no be sipping champagne when I'm thirsty, but I still got to get mine.

Exactly how I fee;). I do it for free part time, also in an area with little to no healthcare or education and in poverty. Two main reasons I became a nurse and why I do it for free are because for one, I grew up as daughter of a uneducated and poor single mother in very bad areas. I saw many sad and unessesary things happen to people, especially kids and the elderly due to poor or no heathcare, little to no education, and lack of funds. Even if they might have access to healthcare, there was not enough education to know when to go about seeking it. Unfortunately there were not enough people to provide this care, they were the neighborhoods nobody gave a #### about. People with so much potential and no support. I was once there, my mother was once there. The other reason is because I was always facinated with medicine. Even as a little girl I remember watching medical documentaries and always wanted to know more and more. I will continue to do it free as long as I can.

I am a miss, a beaner, and a R.N. I am basically making lite of the fact that I am a very proud Mexican American. I am one of those brown and proud types. "MissbeanerRN" started because back in my middle school and high school days I got into fights because my group of friends and I got called beaners by another racial group and well, I had to do what I had to do. This got me into some trouble more than once, my overly sensitive proud behind just couldn't let them diss! Had to stand my ground dang it. Now that I matured and know better I think its pretty funny. I also know now that I let them win when I took offense and got all worked up about it and felt the need to kick some a** then my a** got kicked for being stupid. I got a wake up call and am now a diffrent person, not so serious anymore and I try to find the humor in everything I can because its what it takes just to get by in life. Now as a grown woman there are more important things to worry/laugh about. Now it takes a lot to offend me, and yeah I am a beaner who turned out a R.N but a proud one who likes to poke fun at life! So that's my story

Heck yeah! agree w/ redessa, n I say to don't ever worry about how u compare to others, figure out what works for YOU n only YOU, screw everyone else, they're not YOU. Get some assistance n don't let your hardship predict your future. Might be harder but where's the fun in easy? I should know, I was a crap student in high school, & unfortunately because of that, my future was already predicted. No suppport whatsoever, n nobody ever bothered to see why I didn't "compare" to other students or even to family members. They were convinced I should settle for beauty school. For a while even I was convinced. ****** me off. So with no support, I figured out that I don't learn like "others", I'm NOT "others". I knew what I wanted (Nursing) n went for it the way only I knew how. Fastforward to now....In a family where It was predicted I'd be the one to never get a degree, I was the first and only to get my degree with goog GPA n no repeats.Talk about booya B*****s! N I ain't stoppin anytime soon baby! One inspiring interview I saw that I'll never forget was of a man with Downs Syndrome who wound up becoming a teacher. No bull. ( can't remember his name tho ill c if I can find it n post it later) His case was a less severe form of downs, but he managed to get his teaching license. As if that was not enough, he was struggling to keep a job because ignorant parents didn't believe he was qualified to teach due to his appearance alone, (cuz he does have the typical downs appearence), even though you could wave his credentials and license in front of their noses which by tha way were shoved up each n everyone of their a***s! So girl if he can do it what's our excuse? If its something u really want to do, nothing's stopping you but yourself. So do what you gotta do.

I haven't personally although when I was in Nursing school,I saw one of my classmates aspirate blood on a newborn while attempting to administer vit k. Shocked the nurse.