CSnyder823

I was under the understanding that it would be unethical NOT to ask for an assignment change...

Oh, dear. This hurts, and I am so sorry. May I please offer you a few thoughts to consider? The child DID have an underlying medical condition. Please recall, you said the grandmother told you he had heart surgery shortly after he was born. Even with corrective surgery, we know, he had a medical history which would always be disclosed for future care, for one reason or another. He was always going to have that consideration in everything, going forward. That child stood the BEST POSSIBLE CHANCE because you DID ACT! Honey, if he wasn't going to make it, you made absolutely sure you gave him ANY possibility that he could defy the odds. The odds were not in his favor, and while I know the sting, we must recognize, we are not Gods. We do what we can do, we help where we can, and we need to let go of that guilt, which serves NO PURPOSE. It's ok. Say that out loud. "IT'S OK." You were there, you offered your professional assistance without concern for yourself. You did something that will FOREVER help that family know, he was beyond the point of saving. If immediate care, you and the EMTs, couldn't bring him back, then they can have peace in knowing that nothing was missed. Instead of tossing and turning all night, wondering, WHAT IF, you, my sweet, have provided them with some level of closure they would not have otherwise. THAT IS BEAUTIFUL. If you feel compelled to reach other to them, I say, do it. Maybe send a card in the mail. It really would mean a lot. Offer your phone number, IF YOU WISH, but, I would caution you to keep this at arms length distance. Not to sound compassionless, but, the last thing you need is to hold on to this for too long and to feel compelled to go through every single possible"What If" over the phone with a grieving family. Perhaps, let your cousin find out and then tell you more detailed results. I really worry you might get too involved and wind up emotionally exhausted. PLEASE talk to someone. PLEASE, go to grief counseling. Find a support group. Start one for other nurses, in your area. Give yourself space and time and permission to move on. It's OKAY. I promise. I went thru a situation, as a brand new LPN, where my patient had a massive heart attack. I work NON-MEDICAL psych. I called the code as I was doing compressions, and then I directed it, believe it or not, as a first year LPN, with RNs responding. It was a painful, scary, difficult situation. After my experience, for months, I would leave the room if the tv was on and the characters on TV were acting out chest compressions (movies, TV, etc...) I mean, the first time, I literally JUMPED UP off the couch and RAN to the formal room. I didn't even know I did it until I was walking in circles, wringing my hands in the other room, nearly hyperventilating. BUT. I knew this one thing -- if MY patient was going to die, I wasn't going to let him just GO easy. NO, I was going to fight like hell, I was going to do EVERY SINGLE THING I COULD to save him. AND I DID. JUST like YOU did. Just like you. He stood the best chance of survival with me, because I wasn't going to stop until I was forced to stop when the EMTS rolled up and took over. (My facility sends out emergencies, we are not set up for medical situations.) So, here is the take way, and I know this is the truth for you, too. If there was ANY WAY to save him, you were the best resource available. You were going to make sure you did everything you could. His best chances were increased because you responded. YOU DID WHAT YOU WERE ABLE TO DO. Now, my love, it is time to forgive that we are only human. IN TIME, you will be able to put this to bed and it will make sense that you were the best chance he had, and he was never going to revive. Those agonal breaths and weak pulse were not indicative of survival. It was a biological response. If EMTs with meds and machines couldn't do better, honey, it sounds to me like you were pretty amazing. Please talk to someone. Send a sympathy card, if you feel like that is the right thing to do, but I would caution you to keep some distance beyond that, only because I don't want you to get consumed with this. Rest in the knowledge that you did all you could. It's ok.

OK, I totally understand that... I work in psych and the Intake dept will bring us new patients in the middle of a code. Dumb and dangerous. It's funny... two years ago, I was septic, paralytic ileus, diverticulitis, peritonitis... and I seriously never asked a THING from the ER nurses, they took excellent care of me,.. but really, I was too sick to complain or say or do anything. THANK GOD they were my angels!

I get the WORST headaches from perfumes, oils, and even some cleaning products, with "Fabuloso" Lavender being the most horrific... PLEASE remain scent free at work.

Hmmm... Christmas Eve many years ago, I worked in HR for a global Fortune 500 company, I drew the short straw... had to work. As I am doing my thing, I felt a terrible pressure inside my ear, and then a "Swoosh" sound and suddenly I had blood dripping out of my ear. I was a hard worker, and even though I woke with a fever and an earache, I went to work. So, the blood thing changed my mind. Guess what? I WENT TO THE LOCAL ED. Yep, I went to the Emergency Dept on Christmas Eve with essentially, a horrific earache and a ruptured membrane. I hope that is ok with those of whom are the "Guardians of All that is Right and OK with Living Based on the Rules of the Righteous". FWIW, the ER MD was very clear that coming in ASAP was THE CORRECT CHOICE. I certainly, once again, hope that is ok with the Guardians. If someone feels the need to go to the ER, we deal with it. THAT'S LIFE. I would expect the same level of compassion for that patient as I would a patient suffering from something more gruesome. There are things happening in a persons life that you might not understand, and you might not even consider... So, just be the amazing nurse you always imagined you would be. JMHO.

Um, may I? :) As a nurse who was sick with Diverituclitis, to the point of having a paralytic ileus, sepsis, and peritonitis.... WBC >23K, confused, etc, spend 27 days over a 3 month period of time as INpatient!!! .... The Night shift nurse said: Don't eat Nuts. The Day shift Nurse said: Sure, you can eat nuts. First MD said: You know, maybe don't eat the nuts. The Surgeon said: Evidence says you can eat nuts. I know I ate nuts the week before I perforated. I know I now do not eat nuts. Once they take out the offending section of intestine, supposedly, the environment changes and the remaining (if any) diverticuli no longer react/respond with inflammatory process. Let's hope so. They took nearly a foot of sigmoid out of me. And sometimes, truth be told, I still get LLQ discomfort.... 'Tis Life my darlings. I hope that clears things up a bit for you. RELAX,.... you've got this. We all get nervous. It's ok. :)

I really am sorry to hear you went through such a horrible time with a fraud charge! That stinks! BOOO! Every single time I have disputed a charge, it took minimal "evidence" on my part. Example: A certain game console, we'll call it Y-Box, showed up as a nice fat charge on my credit card. I didn't even own a game console. (Yes, I am the one in North America, you may have heard of me- the only person without a game console....) All I did was call my card's number and BOOM, see ya crazy charges! I'm not saying it is FAST. I am saying, once you know how to phrase the situation ("The way I see it, this fraud is damaging the brand!!") generally, the card holder wins. Again - so sorry to hear you were mistreated. No one should ever have to go through that.

Formerly, I worked as an HR Recruiter in an unrelated field. I would suggest.... 1) Keep it LIGHT. Happy people that are likable get hired. 2) keep it basic,.. Speak in generalities... what a great opportunity it was, how much yo appreciated them... blah blah. When it comes to THE QUESTION.... I am not saying to *lie* but I am saying to remember this is your ONE SHOT to sell yourself against all the other people they could interview. SO, Be Cool, like the Fonz! Just say that while you were so grateful for the opportunity, you felt that it was important that you experience other opportunities... you could imply that you needed a new venue to feel new challenges, you wanted a change from the coproprate structures you came from, and needed the opportunity to embrace new concepts, new roles, new management styles... Honestly, I once told a job the reason I left was that I saw things changing in a direction that did not work for me and as opposed to fighting and complaining, I quietly collected myself and left while the relationship was still friendly. What that manager undertstood was- this lady won't cause me problems. Give them reasons to love you!! You can do it.

I can appreciate the concern over making a $200 donation, however, I know for a fact the card holder retains the authority. So, by calling the credit card company and stating you made a mistake and when you realized it was erroneous, you could not get your money back, the credit card company will almost always side with the customer/card holder. Still- I would not suggest trying the back-door way to see if you passed. It's safer not to use your card that way. But, when I worked in merchant banking, I do know, nearly every single time, no matter how bogus the claim was, if the cutomer demanded a refund, the customer got the refund. Doesn't matter the "agreement" you click "yes" to... In my experience, anyway. :)