CNAkt

I was a candy striper about 9 years ago, complete with the striped smock and everything. We also had the older women, the "Pink Ladies", who I think are still around. I haven't seen a candy striper in about 7 years, but there were Pink Ladies that would come in the NICU as "cuddlers" in late 2006, when my son was a patient there. Thats the last time I've seen a Pink Lady.

I know this is a thread about 22 weekers, but I just wanted to throw my story in here. My son was born at only 24 weeks 3 days gestation, due to negligent behavior from two separate hospitals and my OBGYN. My little Matthew weighed 685 grams, and was 13 inches long. A NICU transport team was immediately called when my OB realized I was in labor (I was fully dilated when she happened to pay attention to me). It took about an hour for the team to arrive, and after they were set and ready, my son was born lady partslly within minutes. He was immediately taken to the team, where they stabilized him and rushed him to their hospital. He stayed in the NICU for one day shy of 4 months. During his 4 month long stay, my son faced terrifying complications. He was, of course, extremely premature, so you could see right through his skin. He had jaundice, he could not breathe on his own and was on a ventilator for about 2 months. He had a horrible scare with NEC, where we feared he would have to be flown to another hospital for emergency surgery. Thankfully, he recovered without the need for surgery, due to the excellent care of the staff. At two months old, he required laser eye surgery for ROP. His biggest problem was breathing. He made it home just before his first Christmas, but he brought home oxygen, an apnea monitor, and ten different daily medications. He was a very sick little boy for a very long time. At 6 months old, he required surgery for bilateral inguineal hernias. Slowly, my little Matthew grew stronger and healthier, and he was able to be weaned off all his medications, oxygen, and apnea monitor. My little guy is now 4 and a half years old, and there is no question that he is a wonderful, amazing child. But he had to fight so hard to get where he is today, and he suffered so much. He is nearing the end of his second year of preschool, where he is in a small special needs classroom. He has been diagnosed with autism, sensory processing disorder, communication disorder, and global developmental delays. And he will continue to struggle all his life. No one knows if he will catch up to other children his age. Right now, he is about 2 years behind in development. I guess the reason I'm writing all of this is that I was never given a choice between "do everything possible to save my baby" or "provide comfort care and give me a little time to show my baby I love him". It all happened so fast, and no one actually stopped to ask me what I wanted, and no one explained the long road that was ahead of us, and how much Matthew would suffer because of it. Looking back, and knowing what I know now, I don't know that I would change anything, and maybe that makes me a horrible person. I just might be a horrible person, but no mother ever wants to be the one to say "let my baby die". I know I wouldn't have been strong enough then to say let him go, even if they had told me all the terrible things my son would have to go through. I was weak, and scared, and I loved my baby more than anything in the world. My little boy has been through a lot of pain in his life, and he's suffered so much. But I look at him today, and I honestly think he deserved the chance to be the mischevious, energetic, sweet, cuddly, excitable little boy that he is now. He may not developmentally be the same as his peers, but medically he is doing amazingly well. He's a happy boy, and he enjoys life every day. I just wanted to give you a mother's perspective on this issue. I completely understand when medical professionals deem a child too early to save, or when the child has too many complications to ever have any hope of leading a normal life. I don't dispute that issue at all. But as a mother, I wanted you to understand my journey.

All these responses are very encouraging...I want to be a nurse, but I have a terrible needle phobia. I can't watch when my blood is drawn or when I get a shot, I pass out about 15 minutes after my blood is drawn, and once my boyfriend at the time had to have an IV for a procedure and I watched the nurse start it, and I don't know what went wrong but blood started squirting everywhere and down I went. Next thing I remember I was in the bed next to my boyfriend and there were smelling salts being shoved under my nose... I gave up on my desire to be a nurse until a friend of mine (she's a RN) gave me some encouragement and sent me to this website.

Wow, thank you all so much! I appreciate all of your comments more than I can say!!

Worldtraveler - $70 isn't the cheapest, but it sure isn't the most expensive. That sounds pretty reasonable for a great shoe that won't make me ache horribly.

Nightingale - I've never heard of Z-coils before. I'll have to investigate them! Thanks!

I hope your sister's son is doing well. My son weighed in at 1 pound 8 ounces, and was 13 inches long. His home visits lasted for about 4 months, and the nurses came back during RSV season with Synagis.

Lovelife2 - After reading everyone's messages, I'm definitely not going to go cheap. I'm so glad I asked, and really appreciative of everyone who has left a comment. I didn't realize I'd need to change my shoes every 3 months though. Thanks for the tip! Coupb8222 - You're absolutely right, I wouldn't want any of those disgusting germs getting into my shoes, on my socks or feet. I'm going to go to my local Life Uniform store and look at all the shoes and try them on to see which is the best. Thank you for your comment!

I'm not a nurse, but I'm the mom of a micropreemie. My son was born at 24 weeks gestation, stayed in the NICU for 4 months, and was finally discharged. His neonatologist ordered home nursing visits 3x/week. After that initial order, the home nurses evaluated my son's condition and progress and they decided when to cut back on visits, with the doctor's approval. I don't know if this is how it works with all preemies, or just very sick preemies like my son.

Melosaur - Thanks for your message! It makes me feel much better to know someone else can't stand to look, but can give the injections and draw blood fine. I feel encouraged :)

Thanks, LaterAlligator and KB24!!

Justme - Thanks for you're advice! I'll definitely try both of those styles of Nikes on and see how well they work for me. And after reading about you're "wardrobe malfunction" I will definitely keep an extra pair of scrubs in my car! I'm so glad you had an extra pair, that would have been really terrible for you! Oh man! Thanks for the advice :)

Lin - Thank you so much for you're comment! I really appreciate the links to actually see the shoes you're talking about, too. I like the styles of the ones you've shown me, I think I'll look for something similar. Thanks again!!

Sock Monkey - I was just cringing reading about you're wound care experience...its great that you can isolate a reason and focus on that (the room being warm) and overcome you're squeemishness that way. Gpatry - I don't think this will be you're downfall. I think you can get used to the squeemishness for the poop and vomit. I used to gag right along with the kids I'd take care of in our home daycare and not be able to clean them up, and changing diapers could sometimes be really gross, but after working with the daycare kids for awhile, and then having my own kid, I can now be eating a sandwich or something and someone else's kid will throw up, and I can still keep eating. Or my kid throws up, and I grab him real quick so he'll puke on me instead of the carpet...I'm easier to clean than the carpet, and he's my kid so...may seem gross to other people, but you get used to it.

Thanks, Guiltysins. I find it very interesting that it is very difficult for you to watch some surgeries, but others are not difficult at all - but I'm sure we're all that way, having certain issues with some things and not having any issues with others. Thank you to everyone contributing, it is very interesting to hear about things you've had difficulty with and the things that don't bother you at all. :)

Apgar10 - You know, that is what most of my son's NICU nurses told me, too. They say they could never do these things to their own child. I guess it must be the circumstances you are faced with - my first experience in the medical world was being thrown into a NICU with a 24 weeker son who was barely hanging on and learning things in that way.

Apgar10 - Wow, I bet it was fascinating observing the surgeries! (If I ever have that opportunity, I may need to sit down...or have a trash bin nearby in case I vomit...) JBudd - I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who is having such a hard time with the idea of giving a shot, and I am very encouraged to know that you were able to get past you're aversion, and I am hopeful I will be able to as well. I always thought (while my son was in the NICU) that I could do anything he needed (whether it be an NG tube, oxygen and apnea monitor, injections...etc) I could do any of it because he was my baby and I love him, and he would die without it. But I also always thought I'd never be able to do those things to someone else's baby...but the desire I have to help people has never gone away. I want to see if I can do it, if I can get past this aversion and actually help people. Again, thanks to everyone who has responded. I truly appreciate it.

Apgar10 - You've painted a lovely picture...:barf01: So, have you ever obviously gagged during one of those lovely encounters, or actually thrown up? Or fainted while inserting an IV?

Liles - Awesome, thanks!

I watch a few shows on the Discovery Health channel, just haven't seen that show yet. I'll keep an eye out, thanks!

StangGang - :) I've never seen Trauma Life in the ER, I'll have to watch it sometime.

Thank you for the encouragement! You definitely made me feel more confident in myself :)

RN2BDFW - Thank you for you're opinion. I was hoping it would be something I would work past, and instead focus on the job at hand, you know? The most invasive thing I've ever done was insert a NG tube in my son (he was a micropreemie) a few times. I did it fine, even though it felt a bit creepy at first.

I'd really like to be a nurse, but I do have a bit of a needle problem...I don't like to get shots or watch it be done. Is this something that can easily be overcome after learning the technique or with practice?

Fuzzywuzzy - the idea of clogs appeals to me more than tennis shoes, I've never really been a tennis shoe kinda girl. I had to laugh at you getting you're entire body soaked, I'm sure thats what I'll do my first time too! And that would NOT be a good idea, because our uniform is white scrubs. I don't know if you were wearing white or not, but white clothes + soaked in shower = not good. Maybe I should bring a change of scrubs with me...?