Urban_Durga

@ CamaroNurse: Those titles sound quite yummy, indeed! I may have to go looking for those myself!

Hahaha...Porshuuuuh, Chandelier and Iron Man. Amazing. Maybe I should just start telling people those are the names of my kids when they ask! And maybe I should also add War Machine in there too... I've also wondered if perhaps answering with a good-natured joke would also work? A patient asked me how old I was a couple weeks ago, and I responded, "Oh, I'm 76...don't I look great?" We both laughed, and he didn't ask again. I felt like he got the point, but by making it into a joke, he didn't feel offended or put off. He also asked later if I was married. I told him I'd been happily and secretly married to Bruce Wayne for several years. Again, we both laughed and I quickly followed up with asking if he was having any pain, if he wanted to get up and move around a bit, etc. What do you guys think about using that tactic with coworkers, at least on occasion? At some point, more intimate details of my life will come up naturally in conversation; I would just like the disclosure of that information to be at my discretion, and to those members of my team with whom I'm comfortable.

Thank you very much, everyone, for all the great advice! It's really great to hear different perspectives on this. I appreciate everyone taking the time to respond. Keep the awesome suggestions coming!

I was just hired onto our Neurology/Surgical Specialty unit, and I'm looking forward to being able to have the combination of all the ABI/Stroke/Epilepsy patients with resulting Behavioral/Psych. manifestations. My experience is in Mental Health, so, for me it's the best of both worlds! Of course, it's not a super-awesome-happy-fun time for the patients, but so far my background has enabled me to provide more competent and compassionate care for those on our floor with comorbid psychiatric issues. And congratulations on your (relatively) new job! I hope you love it. :redbeathe

University Medical Center in Tucson consistently hires new grads. You can contact Nurse Recruitment at: [email protected] 520.694.4937 -or- 1.800.524.5929 Hopefully that info doesn't violate any AN site rules! If it gets deleted, you can just visit UMC's website and click on "For Nurses" on the homepage. :]

In our hospital, access to the patient care area of the ED (Urgent Care/Emergency/Level 1 Trauma) can only be gained by having the doors unlocked by staff, either via badge swipe or someone at the desk that can actually see who is waiting to go through. Of course, there is a large waiting room for patient triage, families and friends, and both Support Svc. staff and Chaplains round on people waiting to make sure they're comfortable (we even give out snacks!). There's also a 2 visitor max. for the general ED rooms (I'm not sure about Trauma, it could be the same or less, depending on their Trauma designation). Of course, if someone's not paying attention, there's the possibility that an extra person or two could sneak in every once in a while, but not a writhing sea of people all at once.

Amazing. And congrats for not losing it and kicking him in the aforementioned taint! @ P-medic2RN : I can't even imagine...I doubt their homes would be particularly clean on a good day, let alone a surprise visit from the Paramedics while they're in the middle of their bi-monthly indoor manure-and-MRSA-flinging party!

Thank you for your suggestion regarding giving a direct yet concise answer and then moving over to hearing about them. I think that's a great idea. I definitely agree with you about the little information vs. no information; that's a very good point for me to keep in mind. And I absolutely don't want to imply that I'm anti-social or can't have a casual conversation, in fact quite the opposite. I'm just looking for ways to keep it weighted more toward the casual/hobby/interests conversations. And, it may just work out that in this environment (hospital), the expectations for initial, getting-to-know you info. are just different from what I'm accustomed to! Thanks for taking the time to put in your :]

I'm actually very personable. Like I mentioned in my OP, there's all kind of stuff that I have absolutely no problem talking about (likes/dislikes, interests, etc.). I personally don't feel it's necessary to know intimate details of one's life to start building a rapport with and getting to know someone at work. I've worked in INCREDIBLY intense positions in the past (my background is in behavioral health/SMI/DD pts), and in my last job, I had really fantastic, supportive, collaborative and fun working relationships with all of my coworkers...and we didn't discuss marital status/kids until six weeks to several months in. I appreciate your input, and I certainly understand where you're coming from. I'm definitely not trying to invalidate your point. I'm just hoping to get some creative ideas from others who might share my general viewpoint...that's why I put the disclaimer regarding my understanding of my coworkers' intentions at both the top and bottom of my OP. :]

I should probably also add a few specific reasons for this, in addition to just personal preference... 1.) In the six weeks I've been at my hospital (floating to various units before finding my permanent home), I've been asked for my phone number/out on a date by 3 people (during the first 12-hr shift we worked together/had met). I'm certainly not bragging about this...just hoping to explain. Two of those times, it seems it resulted, at least in part, from 2 female staff members informing 2 male staff members that I'm "not married" (I've been answering the questions posed to me so far since I haven't come up with an appropriate/creative/humorous alternative yet). Thankfully, on all three occasions, the guys in question weren't creepy or excessively inappropriate, but as I'm sure you can infer from my OP, that's not a situation in which I'm looking to find myself while at work. I gave a simple and very polite "No" each time, and behaved no differently toward them after being approached. I certainly didn't want the day to become awkward, or for them to feel embarrassed. Only one pressed me for reasons why I had declined, at which point I let him know I wasn't comfortable going into any of that with him. 2.) The initial "Are you married?/Do you have kids?" questions are new to me in this particular job. I haven't encountered this at other places I've worked in the past (again...not questioning motives, everyone's been very nice). I'm more accustomed to questions about where I've worked before, where I'm going to school, how I found my way to the company/job, etc. 3.) I've always had almost exclusively male friends, was a tomboy, and for the most part, my previous workplaces had slightly more men than women, so this may be unique due to the demographic being different from what I'm accustomed to (as RNPerDiem suggested above). 4.) My answers to personal questions generally are not what is expected by the person asking, and invariably leads them to ask follow-ups that feel more objectively invasive (such as, "Why aren't you married?", "Do you want to get married?", "You don't have ANY kids? How old are you?", [i'm 27, just as a point-of-reference] "When are you going to have kids?", "Are you a Christian?", "Do you like to go out? What do you drink?", "Why don't you drink?", etc., etc.) Again, I'm not saying I need to be the unit Sphinx or anything, I'd just like to find a polite and/or humorous way to maybe deflect some of the deeper probing until I'm a bit more settled in. :]

I was recently hired onto a new unit, and am hoping to get some advice regarding tactful ways to deflect requests for personal information as a new staff member. Let me start by acknowledging this: I fully understand that when my coworkers ask me about my personal life, they are just trying to get to know me, and have good intentions. I work in a great hospital and 99.9% of the people I've met and/or worked with have been incredibly nice. However... I've always been a fan of keeping my professional life and personal life separate. Every time I meet someone new at work, the first three questions put to me are, 1.) "Are you floating, or is this your permanent unit now?" (I'm obviously fine with this one), 2.) "Are you married?", and 3.) "Do you have kids?" The questions I ask my coworkers upon getting to know them generally pertain to how long they've been on the unit, how long they've been in their profession (RNs, Techs, et.), if they had planned on working in our unit's specialty (Neuro.) and/or if they have a particular interest in the field, etc. There are plenty of not-strictly-work-related conversations that I'm more than happy to have, but when it comes to talking about whether I'm married/single, have a boyfriend/partner, have kids, attend church/have a religious preference or beliefs, have siblings, etc., I'd rather keep that to myself and only disclose those bits of information if I feel it's appropriate and I'm comfortable with the discretion of the other person involved. Though I'm brand-new, I'm good at my job, outgoing, like to keep busy and help out, and have a good sense of humor. I'm not trying to hide out in a corner, or put up any "go away" signs or anything during my 12 hour shift. I just have a huge crush on healthy boundaries. Here's my question: Could other people who have been in a similar situation please give me a few suggestions for how to handle this in a friendly, tactful and respectful way that will allow me to keep the aforementioned information to myself? Of course, I'd rather not have the questions posed to me in the first place...however, I genuinely like all of the people I work with and hope I can find a solution that is a win-win for both me and them. Thanks! PS- As I stated above, I DO understand why my coworkers are asking me about myself, and certainly don't question their motives. If you feel I'm being unreasonable, I'm okay with that and certainly can respect your opinion; however, I'd love to keep any replies on-topic with constructive suggestions. :redbeathe

Behavioral Health/Psych. is my passion, and the area of healthcare in which I have the most experience. I love working in Mental Health; I find it incredibly rewarding and fascinating. I don't mean rewarding in the way someone might if they were talking about working in L&D or the Newborn Nursery or something, but for those who are a good fit for working with the mentally ill or those with behavioral manifestations of other illnesses or injuries, working with this population allows us to be involved intimately, impactfully and therapeutically in a person's life when they are most vulnerable. The difference between regaining health and function or sinking into abject misery over the course of a Psych. patient's illness can frequently depend on the quality and dedication of the care givers who have helped (or not helped, as the case may be) them along the way. However, for those who tend to get very emotionally attached to their patients, Psych may not be a great place to work, for a number of reasons. I won't describe them all, but can sum it up by saying that if one can not compassionately detach from their patients, the staff member will suffer for it, and so will the patient. There's a great book called "Trauma Stewardship" that I believe anyone involved in social services, mental/behavioral health, home health, and any direct patient care should read. It discusses the complex dynamics of providing and/or facilitating care and healing, and the factors that contribute to an employee's, organization's, and patient's health, well-being and ability to participate in the treatment milieu in a positive way, while minimizing burnout. I highly recommend it. So, if you have a passion for Psych., you should definitely give it a try. For the right people, it's the most amazing, rewarding gig possible. (PS-Sorry if this post seemed a bit rambling. I'm usually very concise. However...I just took my sleeping medication, and, well...it sometimes makes me a little out of it. So my apologies if that's the case!)

The hospital for which I work instituted a chaperone policy as a direct result of a male clinical staff member being prosecuted and incarcerated for a situation that came down to he-said/she-said. They were alone in a room. She said he had 'fondled' her, and he couldn't prove otherwise. This happened 4 or 5 years ago, and the man in question is STILL in jail. Is it necessarily fair that, due to your gender, you have to think twice about performing a procedure alone that you have been trained for professionally? No, it isn't. Despite this sense of un-fairness, is it still wise and super-prudent to have a chaperone? Absolutely. I am female, and have requested chaperones for intimate procedures on both men and women. In fact, it is our hospital's policy for all clinical staff, regardless of gender, to have a chaperone present for any and all intimate procedures (which include peri care, genitalia, breasts, etc.). I like our policy because it is very non-biased; whether we're male or female, we're required to have a chaperone...even if we're working on intimate anatomy that's of the same variety as our own. Policies such as these move out of the realm of the discriminatory, and into the land of covering everyone's ass, period. Unfortunately, there are crazy people out there...of both genders. You have the resources and power to protect yourself from them by following best practices, being vigilant, and keeping your head in the game where it really matters...the best possible care of your patients.

I am going through training as a tech, and have my first 12-hour shift on Wednesday. I am scheduled to work in BMT/ONC, and am hoping that some of the very experienced nurses here on the board could give me a few tips. For example... I am assuming that due to the severe nausea experienced my many of the patients on this floor, it would be a good idea to make sure I smell as neutral as possible for this particular shift. I don't ever wear perfume to work, and the products that I use are as natural as possible (Dr. Bronner's soap, coconut/jojoba oils for skin, etc.), but it seems like it would be prudent to pay extra attention to my scent profile, if you will, while I'm on this assignment. Are there other things like this that I should be aware of? Or any other advice in general? For me, this will just be my first work assignment during training, and I get to go home healthy at the end of the day...but for the patients in BMT/ONC, my 12-hour shift might feel like an eternity if I'm doing or not doing things that are causing them to suffer unnecessarily. While I'm not sure how much help I'm going to be, since it will be my first day, I'd like to make sure I do as well as I possibly can. Thanks!

The number of calories burned during any activity is dependent upon quite a few factors, not the least of which is the body weight of the person in question. For example: A 60-minute spinning class, at an exertion level of 'very vigorous'... 113 lb. woman: will burn 699.64 calories 180 lb. woman: will burn 1114.48 calories (calculations done by SELF online calculator) So, the greater the body weight of the person, the higher the number of calories burned for (virtually) any given activity. As I think someone mentioned above, there are quite a few online resources one can use to get an estimate of caloric expenditure for one's gender, age, and weight.