expiringmind

I wish I could say something that would help. I was embarrassed and sad that after graduating in 2005 with a BSN (in a 16 month program designed for people with a bachelor's degree in another field) and spending a year on the floor of an average hospital. I felt so ineffective and devalued. I knew nursing wasn't the field it was when my mother was practicing, but the money was surely better, and I needed the ability to provide for my family when it became clear that my husband wasn't going to... And even my mom (who knew she wanted to be a nurse since age 5) says there's no way she'd do it today with the changes in the profession. So much multi tasking and so many sick patients... I have 2 bachelor's degrees and am making the same money as if I'd gotten an associate degree. (no offense to ADNs). After only my first year, I had come to the conclusion that the money is not worth it. (Can anyone say "engineering" or any field with that in it's name??) My license was on shaky ground when they give me 7-8 patients, because they can't find someone to cover a call in on nights, and the going over and above--like asking to get more experience by helping with procedures other nurses had, being a true team player, coming in OT and in snow storms because I lived close and the rural people had no access, and trying to keep costs down whenever possible, staying late to finish whatever hadn't been done I thought should have (I've since realized that we run a 24 hour hospital and the next nurse needs to take over where I left off just like I did for her...) while still giving excellent care, etc. My first evaluation mentioned nothing about any of my good qualities, and included a laundry list of issues: that I needed better organization (what new nurse doesn't?), and a bunch of other "input" from coworkers by email (which usually only amounted to complaints by others who only ever have something negative to say, because people who are happy with your work don't want to go out of their way to write info before your eval...) Heck, the wonderful nurse that trained me said nobody is ever organized enough, and that depending on the patients, 4 could put you in the weeds! And we all know the learning curve of a new nurse! Then seasoned nurses told me what a great job I did and that the evaluations always go that way because they tell the managers how to try to minimize raises by finding all that stuff. I would just have liked to hear something good about my work. It wasn't about the money... I read how many people are getting out of nursing within 2 or 5 years! What an ordeal for only that long to earn and the student loans are immense. I think sometimes that trying to recruit students who want to change careers will not succeed simply because they are not used to being treated like children (did nurses of yesteryear really put up with some of this?) and have experienced other fields which would make them less likely to want to put up with some of the problems with out profession. I can't even be trusted with a saline syringe in my pocket and I have to charge $28 or something ridiculous to have one to use as multidose so I can have some handy to flush an occluded IV--instead of walking so far to get one and hope I don't lose the IV when everyone and their dog finds me in the hall looking like I have time for any and everyone's requests. Like "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie," they all need one more thing... I lose my IV and have to spend the next 4o minutes trying to get another one started or find someone else to try when I am not successful... Etc., etc. And I actually LOVE people and love helping people. But after a 12 hour shifts of demoralizing stress, I could hardly feel like any good was done. Just spinning my wheels. From what I remember in my research, nursing is fairly "inelastic" with regards to giving more money to get more of them (increased pay, etc.) It doesn't help. Some things people decide they won't do regardless of the money. (Prostitution comes to mind...) You may have to find a different type of nursing to do. We have to advocate for each other to be healthy, and assertive. With the job market like it is, it's hard to want to "rock the boat." Sorry. I unintentionally submitted my own rant. {{Supportive hugs your way...}}

For every student who looks on the bright side, and strives to do even better than her apparent best, I wonder how many others there are who, demoralized, have quit trying, or just plain quit school. How sad...

Wow! That sure shows the integrity of the management. Minimizing clear wrongdoing to save tehmselves the trouble. That kind of *system* of ambivalnce is almost scarier than the imposter; she will only reach a certain number of "human beings," but their influence is multiplied...