Nikki.J

Elvish, Thanks sooo much. Hopefully it'll pan out sooner than later so I can get back to being ME and enjoying my pregnancy. Best to you with yours. I'll keep you posted on the outcome!

So, friends, I had my appointment with my OB's NP this morning (my OB is on maternity leave) and can I say what a difference it makes when someone actually listens. I went in with my husband not sure how I would tell her what I've been feeling since these feelings are so foreign to me. Well, she came in, saw me instantly well up with tears, put her clip board and pen down and simply said "Talk to me." She sat there and listened to me if I were the only patient on the planet. From a patient's stand point, I was so grateful for her unhurried concern for my situation. Bravo to professionals like this! Onto her suggestions: Since I told her I am contracted with my facility (not floor) for 2 years since I took the sign on bonus I can't exactly quit unless I have the money to repay it in full with taxes (which I don't)... her suggestion was to talk to my boss about other options. At my place of work, they like to have new hires stay of for at least 6 months before moving on since they took time to orient, etc. I just can't recall if it's 6 months from the start date or 6 months from the start of a functioning RN position, in which case I was off of orientation early September. Anyway, she suggested I make the leap to another floor on days if my current floor wasn't offering days as an option. You all must be thinking what a drastic change that would be right now, but I'm desperate!!! Lastly, we talked about antidepressants as an option; Zoloft specifically. She informed me it was a Class C drug and all of the pros and cons. She wrote a prescription for a low dose. It's in my back pocket as we speak. I'm really going to have to think about this. Infinite sadness effects on baby or Zoloft? It's quite a decision. Soooo, I think I might see what the 6 month rule entails exactly, and talk to my manager and try to make a situational change first before filling the script-- even if it means reorienting to another floor ON DAYS. If all else fails, well, I might have to accept the prescription, because I cannot fathom the duration of my pregnancy feeling like this. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I know none of you personally but am so thankful for a community of nurses who rally behind one another when the going gets tough... really tough. Sincere thanks to you all...

Friends, Thanks everyone for the replies. I have already started taking vitamin D... levels to be checked soon. I also have a doc appt. in the morning. I have never had depression issues so I'm not sure if this is situational, seasonal, pregnancy-related... ugh. This is just plain tough. I have read all of your replies carefully and will be sure to post what helps. This might just help someone else out in the process. You all are the best for taking time to respond with your input and kind words. Happy Holidays to you! Nikki.J

Hey all, I'll try to keep this brief... Here's my situation: I'm a new grad (off of orientation since the beginning of September), working full time 7p-7a, 11 weeks pregnant and fighting depression. I've NEVER had an issue with sad feelings like this. I have been feeling isolated, hopeless, teary, SAD,... just plain blah. At first working at night was new and exciting, but I'm finding I'd rather lock myself in a bathroom for 12 hours than work nights now. I have horrible sleeping habits now, feeling like I'm dragging even on my days off... my life had more quality in nursing school!! I work in the NICU, which I do love, but the nights bring darkened halls, darkened rooms (parents sleeping), and our layout doesn't have a central nursing station... just spread out halls, so I might have one other person on my hall a few doors down to chat with... maybe. I truly think nights are making me depressed! No sunlight and the dark, isolated work environment... UGH. So, to make the fact that I already feel like a walking zombie & sick all the time (the just worn out immune system feeling)... I'm pregnant with my second child. I'm worried about how I've been feeling and negative effects on the baby. I can't even enjoy my pregnancy... so not like me. I'm just MISERABLE. Has anyone else dealt with new feelings of despair and loneliness on nights? I know people say I'll adjust, but I'm just seeing NO light at the end of the tunnel. Just plain misery. My sweet hubby has asked if I could switch to days... I'm on "the list" but it's long, and I'm sure no one would care that I'm (deeply) sad and offer to move me up. Other than that, he's feeling pretty helpless. I'm also a new grad (and pregnant), so finding a day position elsewhere right now just isn't an option. I'm STUCK. I had NO idea I would react this way to night shift... PLEASE, any insight, words of encouragement or advice would be embraced. I'm getting desperate. 7 more months of this before the baby comes sounds like TORTURE Thanks for your time comrades...

Thanks for the encouragement everyone. Boards passed with 75! The staff are not all grouches. Called my first code SOLO... good outcome & glad to get that out of the way. (whew!) High risk deliveries left & right. Staying focused. Learning boucous!!! To the last person that posted, thanks for the advice but a pinch from the nice fairy might do you some good. I've been learning my buns off for the last several years & while I'm not stopping now, my life (which I'm finally getting back), husband, and daughter are more precious to me than anything. I miss them, they miss me. Anyway, telling yours truly to sit down, shut up and learn (really? that's your encouragement? yikes.) and basically have a life later.... nursing is 24/7?! (Please do not give me a speech on how life is not always "nice" either. I get that.) Did it ever occur to you that I'm scared to death? My new commitment to the hospital, unit staff, tiny patients, families... and my family is HUGE. This is a scary big change! All of which I hear is normal, yay for that. Look, I love nursing but I might turn out like those calloused grump a**es if I take no time to regroup now and again. No thanks. Let me now offer my advice: find balance my friend. It's good for the soul. Nonetheless I appreciate you taking a moment to respond. Please, no hard feelings. Thank God for "allnurses" therapy sessions. All in all, life is good, my new floor/role is growing on me quickly, and I have my health in a field where people struggle for theirs daily. Not to be taken for granted... The best to ALL of you. NikkiJ, RN

I test Tuesday... just looking for last minute helpful info. What do "mychickenhaztb, superman, and Mrs. Wee" stand for??? Thanks!!!

HELP! I'm a new BSN grad as of May (yahoooo!) and have been employed in our Children's Hospital level III NICU since the summer of 2009 when I externed. I've worked here and there, but am finally in the process of orientation & am finally getting a good taste of the floor's vibe. So far not so good. Everyone seems to have a chip on their shoulder, so few people are welcoming or even bother to say hello in an empty nursing lounge (when it's just me and them.... weeeiiirrd). I keep hearing Debbie Downer comments like "Oh she's new... give it a year" or just negative things about other employees. It's eerily quiet in terms of friendly conversation between cares of patients. It's just plain uptight and uncomfortable. Now, I know work isn't social hour, but shouldn't it be a place you at least kinda enjoy going if you're gonna be there for 12+ hours at a time?? I worked on a med-surg floor (coincidentally this was the 1st floor I did clinicals on, then got assigned to the other half of my externship on, AND got assigned to do my senior leadership. Odd considering this is a big hospital and I kept ending up on that med/surg floor). BUT my point is, those folks were happy & welcoming to me and other newbies, seemed interested in one another, supportive.... I just wasn't crazy about the med/surg part, darn! Anyway, not only that, but it seems as though the particular floor I'm on has THE strictest rules to getting any time off in the whole freakin' hospital. Seriously. I've heard it from just about everyone. You pretty much have to ask off 2 months in advance at least... and have to have the PTO to cover that time off already accrued when the request is put in. PTO takes forever to add up! PLUS, if you called in a day sick or something before that requested time off, they take away one of the request days or whatever equals the number of sick days!!! I heard a nurse say she came to work REALLY REALLY sick because she had a flight to Florida coming up and didn't want it taken away. YIKES!!! Safety issue! So backwards! There's so many crazy request off rules... I just don't know. I'm not super busy or in need of a ton of vacation time, but by golly I have a life and a family and life's too short not to enjoy them if something comes up. I mean, they won't even consider giving you a day off if you don't have the PTO to cover it. At all. Period. It takes, like, a month to earn 12 hours of PTO. That plain sucks. I'm feeling trapped on a bummer of a floor I love the babies & the parents (believe it or not), but these people are a bunch of kill-joys. I haven't even passed boards yet (take July 13, wish me luck!)... and I'm wondering how I can manage on this floor. Any advice or like stories to share? Positive replies only please... I can only take so much negativity in a lifetime. Thanks ya'll! :)

Tulsa area hasn't experienced problems for new grads. I graduate in May and got hired into a level III NICU last month. Many of my classmates are going through the interviewing process right now... so far so good. Best to you!

Well congrats on getting accepted! Well, I'm in the final semester of my BSN program, which has been a HUGE challenge (but so worth it). Here's my advice: Don't study nursing books, dosage calc. books, anything nursing... it probably won't make a lot of sense until at least after your first semester. So, here's what you do to prepare... HAVE FUN! Go on a vacation. Read a book for pleasure (because that most likely won't happen for the next two years...). Stay up late watching a movie marathon. Hang with your friends and family. Go to a concert or two. SLEEP IN.... do all the these and more, because you'll only be dreaming about them once you start. Take heart; Christmas and summer break will provide a bit of a relief between semesters. I'm not trying to scare you, but do know that it's a challenge. And this challenge will feel like is dragging on and on, then WHAMO! You're staring graduation in the face. All the tests and stress that come with school will be worth it-- so have fun now!!! :) I never worked in a hospital before my first day of nursing school. Nor did I do some crazy prep before nursing school. I'm not a straight A kinda gal either... and I've just been hired into a Level III NICU. So, based on my experience alone... I say, have a little fun this summer before beginning your journey into the nursing world.

I really appreciate the response!!!! Thanks!

Hi all, Is it acceptable practice to use sweet ease for, say, an infant having methadone withdrawals? If anyone has any sound input for this I'd really love to know!!! Thanks, NikkiJ

Let's see... Well, I didn't look for a long time or work other areas before working in the NICU. Truthfully, I used to bartend in a fine dining restaurant down the street from my town's children's hospital. Every day that I passed it (as it was being built) I told myself I would work there someday. I applied to a BSN program after completing my prereqs, got accepted... busted my rump (still am) to reach my goals, and here I am! Truthfully, I've made every effort possible to get here! I've involved myself in leadership opportunities through my school, kept my GPA up, attended every career fair (and hung out shamelessly by he hospital I knew I wanted to work for)... the list goes on. It sounds like not every NICU accepts new grads (which totally stinks), but you can get there eventually if you really want to!!!!! I can't give advice on what areas would help your quest in getting there, but cardiac couldn't hurt... everyone has a heart! :redbeathe Maybe give networking a shot! Get your name out there... call a recruiter and introducing yourself. Ask them for their thoughts! What could it hurt? I would suggest that when you do get a recruiter on the phone to first ask them if they have a moment to speak with you. I called once and just started drilling her with questions not realizing she had someone on the other line. No wonder I was getting the shortest answers ever, oops. Anyway, just "go for the gold" if that's what you have your sights set on. It'll feel so great when you finally get there Best, NikkiJ

It's possible! I got my foot in the door of a Level III NICU when I applied as a summer extern and got the gig. Now I'm a patient care tech in the unit, and my manager just informed me today she would like to keep me on :) So that's super cool!. Any experience with kids on a resume would help. I honestly had no formal jobs dealing with kids when I applied/ interviewed, but I had a 3.7 GPA, and did everything I possibly could to wow the recruiters: cover letter, resume (both printed on heavy resume paper), thank you note... I even invested in a suit. Put your game face on! I don't know how soon you're looking for a NICU job, but if you have time, you could volunteer with kids somehow (church, shelters, Children's Hospital if there's one nearby...). Involve yourself with leadership opportunities too... your student nurse organization is a good start. If there is one offered in your area: a S.T.A.B.L.E. certification might help (focus on neonates). If you do land an interview, I suggest letting them know you will support and encourage a family-centered environment. Parents are a big part of the NICU experience! Hope this helps. Good luck to you in your search!!!!!

As a patient care tech and future NICU RN (I graduate in May, yippeeeeee!), I asked all the nurses on my unit the same thing as you... endlessly. The common denominator for most of their answers is: express your support of a family-centered environment! Parents play a key role in the care of their kiddos. Since the babies don't really talk back verbally, you'll be interacting with/educating the parents often... especially if there are private rooms where you're seeking employment. (Same with pretty much all peds. units). If you don't want to take on the whole family, this might not be for you, but it sounds like you've done your homework! I know the feeling of wanting a position in the NICU so badly it feels like an extension of your body is missing, but just be yourself (so cliche, but so true). GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!!!

Oh my gosh, good luck!!!! I hope you get the position you are wanting so badly! I think the first part of being a good nurse is having passion... sounds like you got that covered Let us know how it goes! Oh, and what kinds of questions did they ask? Was it all that "behavioral" interview stuff I keep hearing so much about. Any help would, well... help :) THANKS AND BEST TO YOU IN YOUR CAREER!!! NikkiJ

'nuff said. THANKS ALL! Looks like I'm a 'go' to submit my info. for my first nursing job EVER (PICU, fingers crossed)!! Wish me luck!

Hey all, I'm sending out a resume and want to get it *just right* Is it Bachelor's of Science in Nursing OR Bachelor of Science in Nursing... or tomato/tomahto? Thanks!!!

Thanks for the input comrades I'm in the works of putting together a killer cover letter... to include & highlight my NICU experience. I guess the key here is to be confident. Show them that I am the person that best suits this role! So, while I have your attention, I have one more question. Since the peds. positions are very hard to come by, should I also apply for adult specialities as well just in case things don't pan out like I'm praying they will? Even if its not my preference? Arrrggggh! This process is a toughy to figure out! I really feel that there should be some mandatory workshop for senior nursing students to prepare us for the application/hiring process! I could be on to something, hmmmmm... Anyway, I'll submit my applications this Friday... will keep you all posted :) I REALLY & TRULY appreciate the input from you guys. Stay warm out there!

Hey all, Times are tough. Jobs are seemingly getting harder to come by. And I, MORE THAN ANYTHING, want a position in my home town children's hospital PICU. I work in a Level III NICU now as a patient care tech... but I'm just itching to get my hands in PICU! There are only 1 job opening at present. The pressure is on. (Last summer I applied for a highly coveted NICU externship-- I was one of 3 who got the job, so I guess I did something right!) So... I'm graduating in May (YESSSS!) and am going through the daunting application process. Am I being realistic in thinking I would be a possible candidate for a peds position with NO OTHER EXPERIENCE WITH CHILDREN? I mean, I know I would... I have a 3 year old (and I'm a darn good mom ), have a handful of nieces and nephews under 7 that I'm very close to, and have always "clicked" with the kiddos... not to mention adults scare me to death, but what will the recruiters think about me having no formal experience? No nanny gig, no day care 9-5, nada. What can a person like me do in this situation to stand out from the other applicants? I REEAAALLLLY want this job!!!!! We all have to start somewhere. I know I would shine! Thanks to all for your input!!!!

Desertwind, Thanks again for your insight! I'm now planning on interviewing with the PICU. I'll find my niche eventually I guess there really is no better advice than "follow your heart"... I'll do just that. Best, NikkiJ

( GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!

Thanks for your reply... you've got my gears turning! I'm working in the Level III NICU, but I can see where you're going with your questioning: I have not been involved with many of the scenarios you mentioned. No high risk deliveries. Questioned a nurse with a 24 weeker, not followed. Drilled the ECMO RN in action... completely fascinating. YES to all of the vents. No follows to surgery... just looked on through patient room doors while more procedural surgeries are performed (PDA ligations)... can never see anyway Not seen a code. Watched a little one taken off the vent for the first time just last week. Hated that for the family. BUT got to discharge a pt that same day... and they wanted pics with me! (a first) :heartbeat Just a bystander when high risk comes through from L/D I guess AT BEST I've seen 5% of what rolls through the NICU doors. For me, the allure of the PICU is infants AND big kiddos... and all the in between!! Something completely different everyday?.. terrifying & challenging. The variety, I think is what's drawing me in... even though I've never worked in a PICU for more than 12 hrs (clinical rotation). Weird ANYWAY~~~ THANK YOU for your questions!!! I wont be so quick to think I'll be locked into feeder-growerville forever post grad. Even though there is zero wrong with getting a paycheck for nippling a 3.5 pounder and being uber proud of them for finishing a full feed for the first time. The little things -no pun intended- matter too! Warmest regards!

Hello all & HAPPY NEW YEAR! That being said, this is the year I've been waiting for! I graduate in MAY with my BSN, yippeeeee So here's my dilemma: I'm currently employed at a local Level III NICU in a Children's Hospital as a patient care tech. I was offered the job after I interned on the floor last summer. I basically take a team of feeder-growers and do all their cares minus the meds... Originally I've been in talks with management about applying for post grad opportunities... they seem interested in having me! The other staff have asked me here and there if I plan on working there after graduation, and I always answer with an enthusiastic "yes!" Okay... so back to the problem. I know this would be an incredible opportunity, but something is holding me back. Something in my gut is saying this just isn't "it". I'm hoping my final clinical "leadership" placement will be in the PICU (as I've requested... and have had doe-eyed dreams about). No, I have not yet had the opportunity to work in the PICU. Yes, I know it would be crazy hard work & that the learning curve rivals Everest. I KNOW I would be all in though! If I choose to apply to another area, such as PICU, rather than only the NICU I'm currently employed at... would that be frowned upon by my current manager? In general, am I expected to tell each manager I'm applying with what other floors I'm interviewing for? Would that brand me as uncommitted??? I don't want to seem unappreciative (whatsoever), but is exploring opportunities at the risk of NOT being hired worth it? I just REAAALLLY want to :redbeathe my job after graduation and not feel ho-hum. HR just sent out an email to scholarship students to start the application process now. I guess I'm just freaking out a little... no, A LOT. So, stay put since I'm most likely guaranteed the job? Or look around at the risk of not being hired elsewhere and looking like an uncommitted ding-dong to my current manager? Oh agony! HEEEEELLLLLPP please. Thanks!!!!!

I've never heard this, but I immediately thought "status" when I read it aloud. So... even though its wrong, wrong, WRONG, maybe they're implying O2 "STATUS". (Doesn't make it seem as ridiculous). Just a thought :nuke:

Dear Christine, What an insightful window into your moving experiences with loss as a NICU nurse. I have just wrapped up my summer externship in the NICU just yesterday and am hoping next May that they'll have me back on the unit full time. It was... amazing. I loved every minute... except the day when they brought in a little boy, 32 weeks I think, who had only a brain stem and was not expected to live. Our NICU unit is one large 50 bed room (being moved into the Children's hospital-private rooms- in the Fall...) and to see them wheel his mom in right smack in the middle of the room to her baby for everyone and God to gawk at was so hard to see, no matter how much I averted my eyes. She was falling apart, with very good reason... in front of everyone. As just an extern, I could not even believe they couldn't have given her and her family some privacy in one of our over-flow rooms. Something, anything would have been better! Not only did the goings on of her meeting her baby for the first time disturb me, but also that this was my first experience with impending loss unfolding before my eyes. Other nurses just feet away acted as if nothing was happening, sitting and chatting about their days with their co-workers. I know the world couldn't stop because of this, but I just wanted to shout "show some respect!" For God's sake, she was about to lose her child! I am so inspired by your post. Death is so personal... it should be given the utmost respect and I admire your fervor to give this cherished moment to the parents going through such heart wrenching loss with as much dignity as possible. Thank you for your post... and thank God for nurses like yourself. You give me a lot to look up to! ~Nichole future BSN nursing student