i think there is a time when we all forget why we do what we do and need a little reminder! here is my reminder. christmas 2003, picu, recieved two easy pt's when i came on. at 11:00 i was told that i was moving both of my pt's to peds and getting a 13 y.o. codeing pt from outlieing hosp. she roled through the door with the parametic riding on top of her performing cpr. this code lasted until 1530. i came out and said that i was going to get something to eat and would record my code when i returned. while i was eating in the break room, the charge nurse enters and tells me that i am getting a 13 y.o. male head injury from the e.r. just great, i thought. what a christmas! well the 13 y.o. head injury arrived from the e.r. accompanied by mother, the neurologiest, and the e.r. nurse. i get a short report and hear the neuro tell the mother that he was going to put in a central line, art line and a icp bolt, she would need to sign the consents and wait in the waiting room. well needless to say, i did not get home to have christmas dinner with my wife and kids. by the time that i got the lines and bolt in and recorded the 4 hr code, it was 2200. as i was walking out i was muttering to myself, "what a @#*$ day i have had, and on christmas day to top it off!!!" as i passed the waiting room i see the mother of the 13 y.o. boy head injury pt sitting in the waiting room crying. i realize that no one had even gone out to tell her if her son was alive or dead. and then it happened, a lightning bolt of guilt hit me! how arrogent i am to think that this day was about me. i did not loose a child! i did not have a child laying in the picu fighting for his life. what a schmuck i am! i promised myself then and there that i would never, repeat, never complain about how hard my day was. i was weak with sorrow as to how self absorbed i had been. i walked into the waiting room and talked to that mother for two hours. when i left i reflected on my life and how good i have it. so now, if i am not in charge and i hear the charge nurse say, "sorry about your assignment!" i just reply, " it's only 12 hrs out of my perfect life, that is not my child laying there. this is going to be a good day." :zzzzz