Tink7586

We had a similar situation with my gramma when she died. We moved her from her bedroom into a smaller bed that we could set up in the living room so that my mum and I could sleep on the couch beside her. The three days before she died, she kept calling out for Karl, who was her brother, her "Mamma" and "Papa" and then she kept saying, "Oh, but mama will be so upset!" and we never found out what mama would be so upset about. We kept waiting for her to talk about my grandpa, but he never came. I was kind of upset about that, but she still went peacefully. Right after she passed, which was at 5:30AM, there was this overwhelming sense of peace in the room. I don't think I've ever felt so much love in one place at one time.

I think you just have to put yourself out there and do it afraid. I've started to do that and I've made a few mistake, but how am I supposed to learn?

I had to retake my critical care test, which I passed and I feel much better about everything now, but I'm tired of only hearing criticisms towards me from my preceptor. I've switched preceptors twice. The second time only because my first one doesn't do nights.

Hi, I have been a nurse for a little over two years. I worked for 6mths out of school in a SNF, and then I went to the hospital setting on a Med Surg floor with a variety of patients and problems. I worked there for a year and 1/2 and now I'm taking the leap and going for the critical care field. I have gotten a position in a CT-ICU, I've gone through the orientation and I'm in the middle of my floor orientation. I'm on week 7 out of 8....and I feel totally helpless. Somedays, I feel like "I can do this...I just need time." Other days its "Forget it...if I didn't need money, I would just walk out right now." I know right now I'm slow with everything and that I'll get faster as time goes on, but the preceptors I'm with are rough. I know I sound like I'm wineing, and maybe I am, but I figured this would be the place to do it and get some actual encouragement rather than criticism. I have changed preceptors once because the first one made me so nervous I was making mistakes I would NEVER make. My second one was good. She gave good criticism, complemented me where it was needed and gave me advice. I learned from her. The one I had over the weekend....the one area she criticized me on was time management, which I've never been criticized on before. I have had two horrible out of three preceptors...I have spoken with the educator on the unit, and she agrees I have had a rough start. I'm at a loss... I have to re-take my critical care test tomorrow and if I fail again, I get to go back to a step down floor...not my ideal situation at all...I left there for a reason and I don't want to go back. I've decided to see what happens with my test and then make a decision. Any advice?

I do use a brain sheet, infact thats what I call it. I do refer back to it throughout the shift. I think...like you said...I just need to give myself time to adjust to everything and figure out what works for me. Thanks for the encouragement.

First of all, let me tell you a little background and give you the reason why I wanted to start this blog. Reason for the blog: I need someone to talk to. I could start a journal, but who reads that besides me and quite frankley, I don't want to be the only one reading my woes; I like people, I like to talk to people and get their opinions on my life. I love feedback, I love CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. But mostly, I am not the type of person who likes to keep her feelings inside. I have to let them out, them go of them and move on. Being a new nurse is not at all what I expected. To be honest, I'm a little scared. I had 2 weeks of orientation, I have 20-25pts at one time to care for (but they are not acutely ill so its a doable task). I feel like everytime I go into work I'm going to be criticized for something. I'm going to be scolded for not charting. And that's another thing: I forget to do certian things. Last night I forgot to chart on a woman with swelling in her legs that she was concerned about. I addressed the issue, called the doctor and received orders for medication to help with the swelling, but I forgot to chart about it.....and its really weighing in on my heart that I didn't chart on it. When I walked in the door yesterday, the charge nurse from the previous shift (infront of everyone) said "Dr. ****** was really upset that you didn't get the blood sugar on this patient." I explained the situation of the night before, however I did not chart that the patient refused me checking her blood sugar. Charge Nurse: "well, from now on...chart it." and then I had another LPN (which is lower on the scale than an RN, explain to me the importance of charting everything. For some reason, I was almost in tears. I am not stupid, I am not careless...but these events are making me think that I really am, however I know that I'm not. I don't care what anyone says, nursing is HARD...school doesn't even prepare you for the real world. Not even close.

Hi Friend. I was in your shoes two months ago. I know exactly how you feel. I know its hard, it sucks actually. But believe me, you will be put when you are needed and where you're supposed to me. All I can tell you is to keep trying, keep calling. Keep on the HR personell's butts...seriously. Don't be afraid to make yourself be heard. You have alot to offer and anyone who says "No"...well its their loss. What I will tell you is to look into other areas of your state or other areas of the country if you're willing to re-locate...just to see what is available and just start applying for positions.

Yeap! I did 100 questions a day, had 90 questions on the test and passed the first time. My avg score in practice was 55-65%.

I have a similar story to share..... I am a new nurse, having just graduated last June, passed boards in August and started working in November after a very long 3mths of job-searching. Anyway, I finally got hired at a rehab/long term facility. I thought, well if I'm going to work in a nursing home I might as well work in a skilled nursing facility because its like a big med-surg unit. So, I started my job with a smile...and then I only had 2 weeks of orientation. I was handling the 20-25pt load okay. I was a little slow at first, but as we all do, I got faster and more efficient with my duties on the shift. And then, I got put down the "Long Hall" as we call it. On my unit there are 3 halls....there is the short hall, which all rooms have 2 pts in them, the "L-Train" which are also double rooms and then the "Long Hall" which are single rooms, usually reserved for more acute patients than the typical rehab patient. Most of the time its patients with C-Diff, MRSA, AIDS/HIV, etc. When I was put on this hall for the first time, I almost cried. I know what kind of patients were down there...and yes, I say "down there" because once you get into the hall, its like a pit you can't get out of. So, I was almost in tears as I did my narc count. I just took a deep breath and said "Josie, you can do this". I went about my merry way and wheeled my cart to the first room. Long story short, the night was horrible. I had 4 patients with feedings tubes, 7 patients who needed accuchecks, mostly everyone needed pain medication, some type of drain emptied, one patient's colostomy needed changed (and it was one that had herniated) a family member would want to talk to me, some refused meds for one reason or another...the story really goes on and on. I ended up doing nothing but giving medications for 6 straight hours. I was sick to my stomach the whole night. I kept thinking..."God, will this ever end, will it ever get easier? Am I doing ok?" ---Note: Is it just me or as a new nurse, do you always have this voice in your head saying, "Am I doing everything right?" Are we supposed to feel like we need encouragement and confirmation that yes, we are doing just fine? Will I ever get over that? So, when I got to this one patient who I will call "Pete" my patience was just gone. I was mad, frustrated, angry, etc. I walked into Pete's room. He was in his 60's, was only able to see out of his right eye and his left eye was gone (I never got a chance to read his chart so I don't know what happened). He was nothing but skin and bones, didn't have an ounce of fat on his body, it was really hard to give him insulin anywhere. He had a feeding tube, and ALOT of meds I needed to put down it, which meant I had to flush it alot. In the end, I spent ALOT of time with this guy. He couldn't really talk, he kept coughing and his speech was muffled. He kept asking "Do you know about my meds? How I take them? Can I have a tissue? Can I have a swab?" I did everything he asked, but I was still getting frustrated from being in there so long. I finished with him and then left to finish other rooms. When I went into his room the next time to give him bed time medications, we went through the same routine, he wanted this and this and this...and I did all of it with a smile thinking, "God...please shoot me, I'm exhausted." Then, Pete looked at me and said, "Thank you for being so nice to me." I couldn't help but tear up. I said "You are very welcome". I said good night and left the room. I had heard about Pete from other nurses, that he was difficult, that he was needy. I suppose he was needy, but what he needed was to be comfortable. After that, when I took care of him, I always made him a priority to make sure he was comfortable. By him saying "Thank you for being so nice to me", I really do believe God was speaking to me through Pete. I think he was trying to remind me of why I wanted to be a nurse in the first place, because I wanted to be able to help people feel better and make their lives a little easier if possible...and that's what I did for Pete. He was my buddy when I took care of him. The last night I took care of him, I brought in all my supplies I needed to do his care and his meds. I got down on my knees beside his bed since it was so low to do his meds. He looked at me and as clear as a bell he said "So, How ya been?"....I think you had to be there, but I laughed out loud and he chuckled. He never said things like that and it was the way he said it. He died on the transport to the hospital the next day. I was upset when I found out he passed. Pete was the angel in my nightmare that night. After everything that happened that night, I went home with a smile and happy tears in my eyes knowing that I helped someone. Now, I love that hallway.

I would have to say that Medical shows such as HawthoRNe, scrubs, and others that you named make healthcare much more flowery than it really is. I mean really...since when have you seen the Cheif of Nursing run around and care for all of the patients at one time, and since when do they let nurses wear work-out outfits when cleaning out a closet, and since when do they clean out a storage room to put a patient into? And really now....when you first discover you have a cardiac arrhythmia, the first line of treatment is NOT ablation....in one of my BSN classes, we had a huge discussion on HawthoRNe and how un-realistic it is. And you know as well as I do that there are people out there who believe what is happening in that show is true and goes on everyday....what a warped view of nursing the public has. Oh....and no...nurses do not give medication when we know its the wrong dose, no matter what the doctor says....especially with insulin doses. I may seem a little bitter about these shows, but I'm sorry, they're not realistic. I don't like them. Scrubs may be funny, but I really don't find their type of medical humor funny at all. I liked Greys Anatomy when it first came out, and then it turned into a soap opera and I don't enjoy those very much so I stopped watching it. My favorite show of all time is ER...i still watch re-runs everyday. They did such a good job on the show of showing all sides of working in a hospital. They showed a sensitive side, nurses view, the doctors view, and also they did a very good job of showing the political side of health care. And they're very realistic.

what qualities make a good icu nurse?

Thank you so much. I'm glad you passed...CONGRATS!!! I'm not freaking out and I never have been one to freak out over exams. I was using a book that had REALLY difficult questions in it and I was getting 60-65% on every 100 questions I would do. So of course, I started to think, *** I don't know anything, I'm going to fail! Oh no! I only have a few weeks till I take this thing...what am I going to do? I think another reason I wasn't doing well is because my grandmother just passed 2 weeks ago and I'm still having little moments of crying every once in a while, but thats beside the point. And of course I wanted to move my date, but then I thought "No, don't because its best to just get it over with and the longer you wait the more you will stress". I agree that its not worth getting anxious over at all because I believe the NCLEX to be a GIANT psychological mind game of how well you can keep your cool and read every word of ever question and answer. Its not testing how much you know, but its testing whether or not you can be safe, a good critical thinker, etc. Its all a mind game and I'm going to play it and just relax. Because when you relax, you think SO much better.

I'm taking my exam in less than a month and I'm kind of having a little anxiety attack. I need some pep talks from other nurses...HELP!

I am about to graduate and I have tuition forgiveness. I haven't been offered a job yet, but I have interviewed. I live in Pittsburgh. Its really frustrating being tied to a place where they don't even offer you a job, but yet student who don't have the reimbursement are getting jobs left and right. I feel your frustrations. Tink

Hi, I will be graduating from Nursing School in June and hopefully be taking my NCLEX in August. Does anyone have any recommendations as to how I should begin to study/review? Thanks, Tink