Empathetic to your situation, Little Mouse. After recently transitioning to hospice nursing from a career in critical care, I'm beginning to see more of both sides of the spectrum. What I have heard and seen from patients, lcsw's, spiritual counselors, nurses, families and physicians is a lack of eol education usually due to one or all of a few situations: fear of the unknown, legal system, failure or unfinished business. Education is the key. Finding out who is the ultimate decision maker is the first step;make attempts to find out if the decision maker (if it is not the patient, which is true for your case) really has the patient's best interest at heart. Once you have educated the decision maker, an approach to the M.D. may be more successful. Some physicians are adamantly against hospice...even oncologists...that goes back to my 4 fears, but being the advocate that you are, the decision maker will find the M.D. to recommend hospice when appropriate.