Adjuvant

The only time I hate a code is when we really shouldn't be doing it. All too often we're trying to cheat death on someone who really should be allowed to go in peace. Either family can't let go or just poor preparation means no DNR order. And the poor 95 year old with dementia is worked on for what seems like forever, cracking ribs, intubating, shocking....only to revived on a ventilator in the ICU until people can make peace with it.

Tough question, but from my experience I'm inclined to see it as an issue of expectation. Because males are a minority in the field, and there is some level of stereotyping towards male nurses, those that do persevere and enter the field have examined it from every angle, weighed the pros and cons and CHOSE nursing anyway.

Thanks for the post Mike, I'm going on my third year on a vascular/thoracic surgical floor, and now that I'm feeling settled with the nursing SKILLS part, I'm just starting to be able to truely appreciate the more rewarding side of nursing. We get a good number of patients who are in for surgery related to cancer (lobectomies, esophagogatrectomies, colectomies, etc) often newly or recently diagnosed. Sure its rewarding to provide relief from pain, that first sip of ice cold water after surgery, the back rub after they've been on the OR table for 5 hours, but the moments that move me are the personal conversations that are so hard to come by. Not everyone is ready, or willing to openly discuss their feelings, I would say men especially but I've come to find that women are sometimes tougher stones to crack when it comes to talking about fears and emotions related to their diagnosis. But every once in a while I find just the right words at the right time, and my patient unloads their tremendous burden, a burden that is so difficult to talk about with family and friends because they don't want to worry them, or people are so quick to say it'll all be ok. They don't want to hear it'll be ok, they want to give a voice to their fear and have someone listen without judgment, give support without dismissal. We are in a unique position to understand all the medical implications, without the burden of having to "fix it" as does the doctor, nor are we scared away by the prospect of death and pain as might a loved one. I had this experience again just days ago...and after holding my patients hand as he cried for a bit and he voiced his fears and I clarified some of his unjustified fears (the worst being the fear of the unkown) he just smiled at me, patted my hand and said thankyou. I can't describe adequately how I felt as I walked out of that room. It was such a blend of joy, sadness, pride and awe. I know I made the right choice in becoming a nurse, it gives back to me in profound ways, and the more I give the more i get. I'm sorry, but for those who complain about sore feet and a long day, its a tradeoff I would make anyday of the week.

It comes down to respect, how can you have therapeutic conversation if they don't even know who they are dealing with? In my opinion it demonstrates either a lack of empathy or is indicative of burn out. I notice when people burn out they see patients as tasks, not individuals.

Hi RockNurse, I Live in CT and have worked at both Middlesex Hospital and Hartford Hospital. Both are Magnet Hospitals which is important to look for in my opinion. Middlesex is by far the more relaxed work environment, and much more in tune with promoting good staffing and employee development. However, it is a small hospital, so the acuity is low. You said you were looking for ICU so you may be looking for more action. In that case Hartford is the way to go. Its an innercity teaching hospital and as such is where most other hospitals send patients who are going bad. They have specialty ICU's for each type of medicine as well as step down units. I myself am just switching back to Hartford after 3 years at Middlesex. Pay is pretty comparable with all of CT hospitals. Competition is pretty fierce. Hope this helped