I have been working in cticu for about 3 years now and still feel like there is soo much to learn! take it day by day. Most nurses that start out in this field that i have talked to are also a nervous wreck. It takes a long time and personal experiences for you to learn so therefore just believe in yourself. I promise you it will get easier with time. Everyone makes mistakes and says stupid things from time to time especially in a high pressure environment like this. Hope you feel better because there are soo many people that can relate to how you feel including me! My best advice is to stay strong and learn as much as you can. If at the end of the day this is not the area of nursing for you there are plenty other specialties that you can choose from and you will look back at how much you have actually learned and be amazed!