StartingFreshin21

Thank you! I appreciate all info/advice ?

Thanks for all the feedback, I appreciate your thoughts/comments. My entire marriage everything was ours, we never separated anything it was all joint. I really didn't expect divorce. He had the pension and 401K because he was nearly 20 years into his law enforcement career (which is enough to retire at 50 percent for the pension) We were talking about retirement next year and he would probably start a second career or something because law enforcement just isn't a great place to be these days. Anyway I raised the kids and worked part time jobs most of our marriage and always took care of EVERYTHING house and kids. As my kids got older I decided to go for the nursing career I had always wanted and jumped in. I am only 4.5 years in and we just hadn't been comfortable yet and my salary was needed to get by. Because my company doesn't do much of a match on the 401K for the first few years, I didn't start it up and we just put it into his because we got more out of it. So yea, I really set myself up for this. I never even got an attorney, I didn't have the money for it and like I said I just was in a terrible place mentally and didn't want to fight. So he drew up the papers online and I reluctantly signed them. The only thing I really fought for was full custody of my Son. I just wanted my kids and for him to go away. Really it would be so much better if somehow someone could cut the legal bond of marriage and handle all the other stuff a year later, LOL. People would be in a much better position to do it at that point! I love nursing, but I love working with Mama's and babies, it is just my niche. The reason I got into nursing to begin with. I love caring for my patients and I really don't want anything else. I want to enjoy what I do even more than I want to make money. Anywhere LD, post partum, nursery, NICU etc. I would like to be. I have worked closely with our NICU and I love it, I am anxious to expand my knowledge and skills one way or another. I would also really enjoy a LDRP unit where I can do more with antepartum and LD. Anywhere else, I really don't want to be. I don't even want management, I want to take care of patients. That is what I love and I really do value that more than the money. Although a person has got to live. I have been in management positions in other types of work and I can do it, but I don't want to. In starting fresh I really want to love life and live it the way I choose instead of the way I think I have to for someone else. I know this divorce is ultimately a blessing and now I get to make my life what I want it to be. It's just overwhelming for me to try to tackle everything I need to right now. But I do need to because at this point, the sooner, the better! So here I go, fingers crossed and living on a whole lot of faith LOL. I really do look forward to being free and happy. Just need to get through a few more hurdles and hopefully things will be better ? Advice and experience is always greatly appreciated!

Wait, what??? Would you mind going into that a little more? The part about I can still get something out of the retirement/pension??? is that what you are saying? I was in a terrible state and I had nothing in me to fight with. I let it all go. He thinks that giving me 350/month alimony for 3 years until our youngest is 18 is generous. That and he took all of his 75,000 student loan debt. He did walk away and give me everything as far as stuff in the house, but the truth is told he didn't want it or to deal with it and there was really nothing of value. I have our two youngest sons ALL the time (which I am grateful for) but he only pays child support for the one under 18. My older son still needs some support and help to get life started, he wasn't even out of highschool until this past Spring. We had just built our "final home" and moved in 6 weeks earlier when, 3 days before Christmas, he told me he wasn't happy and wanted a divorce. Yes there was someone else and yes she was much younger, (but he didn't sleep with her until the divorce was final, so he didn't cheat) ? Anyway you don't need all my drama here but I went through quite the Hell and was in no condition to fight for anything at the time and he had the divorce filed and closed by April. Then in June he apparently woke up and realized he'd thrown away everything good in his life (after she dumped him) and he still desperately wants me back, but isn't willing to commit to splitting "His" pension and 401K with me. ?? Anyway, I just need get as far from him as possible. A bit part of why I am looking at moving to the area I am is because cost of living is much better and I can buy and invest in a house as well as get paid more. I have got to start doing something now, I don't really have time to waste. Anyway thank you for your response and If you have any input/experience as to how one could possible still get what they were entitled to even after its all done, I'd greatly love and appreciate to hear about it!

Long story short, after being married for 24 years with 4 children, I unexpectedly and very quickly found myself a single Mom this year. So now post divorce I find myself with absolutely no retirement to speak of and I am looking for a fresh start and hopefully enough money to put some aside for my future. I am 42 year old mother of 4 amazing Sons, two of them teenagers and still home with me. I went through nursing school in my 30's and graduated early 2017 and have been a Mom/Baby nurse at the same hospital and unit where I did my capstone since May 1 2017, so 4.5 years full time employment in a Utah hospital where a large number of babies are delivered. We are always very busy and in the top few for the state as far as the number of babies we deliver. Not a huge hospital but a very good, busy and popular hospital for maternity. I am incredibly overwhelmed at the moment and could just use some good advice with several career questions. First off (because I need this done ASAP), I need a good resume service to re-write my resume. I need it to be good and not too expensive! This is one thing I just want done right and doing it myself is quickly becoming very overwhelming. If I can afford it, I would love to just have someone who really knows what they're doing to write it for me! Any info is greatly appreciated! Second question, In an effort to better secure my future financially, I am looking to work in another state. Utah is among the lowest pay for nurses. I have a Utah license and am wondering what it takes to get a compact license, hoping its not too difficult? Third, I am looking at travel nursing and I (think) I would like thoughts from those who have experience in travel nursing. Yes, I have some decent experience in Mom/Baby, however I don't know how high the demand is in this area as far as travel nursing. I really would love to do LDRP, just LD or NICU but doubt anyone wants to train me on a travel basis. Is the maternity experience I have going to help me get a travel job? I would like to work in Colorado and plan to move there ASAP, yes I have two teenagers at home but one of them is 19 and very responsible and my 15 year old, (also a great kid), though I pray he goes with me may end up spending some time living with his Dad before he decides what he really wants. Any info is greatly appreciated! I am looking to start something new asap. Thank you!