Maxine Easy

My first nursing job in NYC was a shock to my system at the treatment I received from many of the white nurses. I was talked down to every day that I turned up to work. My education was undermined even though most of my white counterparts had only associates and diplomas. I would make a clinical judgment and they would tell me, you not suppose to know that, how do you know this? I had to defend myself with my med surge guide book I carried in my pocket daily. White patients and just a few would decline to be in my care. They would remove me from that assignment, but no one ever addresses the emotional trauma, you just suffered. I would go home and cry, feeling let down by the human race. I armed myself with books electronic medication guides and treatment. The more I seem to know the more my work was scrutinized daily. Sometimes, I was left without guidance, and believe it or not my orientation was supposedly a nurse residency program. I would walk into a conversation and hear them talking about me. Sometimes I would get these hard and hateful looks from them. All I wanted was someone to guide me and help me to be the best nurse I could be. I left that prominent hospital on 34th street suffering from stress and feeling burned out. My time there was so bad, that I would go to work having nausea and vomiting, not to mentioned anxiety. When I left I wrote a letter to there HR department and was later told by other black nurses that they launch an investigation. I never got an apology. I went on to pursue my MSN, administrative degree, and became an NP, but none of these things mean anything. Because white doctors overlook you and will not talk to you about patients. They would rather go to another culture that is not black and discussed the care of your patient. Not to mentioned been overlook for top-level leadership positions. On my current job, one of my white counterparts degrades my work, if the idea does not come from her, she shuts it down because it came from me. I was recently given an assignment, and her remarks to me "you know they gave this to you because of your fancy look." I felt so degraded. Sad to say this woman does not have half my education or clinical expertise. Today I feel like the silent black woman. I made a complaint to one of the doctors about her behavior and was told by him "you people are so insecure." Where do we go from here? All we want are fair opportunities to excel like everyone else. To be respected by the profession, colleagues, and patients. M. E DNP-c