Treehugger444

This was my experience. After successfully completing the PA VRP, I applied to NJ which is where I lived at the time. They demanded that I do their program, which I refused simply because I had just successfully completed one, the financial burden and time away from my important life events was not worth having to prove myself to them. I do believe they have labled me with disciplinary action and cannot work in state of NJ.

I can so relate to what you are stating. I successfully completed my contract in 2008, which I am certain that all who are here know that its nothing short of miraculous to complete their crazy, inhuman stipulations for those who have this. Furthermore, the marks and stigma that I personally feel that I have had to endure related to this nonsense has limited me in the areas that I can work in, which ended up being in insurance and risk adjustment coding. My last position was in this area, I did this very well as a contract nurse for 2 years, and then my contract ended in January of 2017. I have glowing recommendations, I could be tested on any random day and would be fine (but my God I will never again personally pay for that ignorance!!). Here it is August, and I am still jobless and have actually started to apply for jobs outside of nursing. I find myself now wondering why I even bothered with the program if this is where it was going to lead. I wish I had some inspiration for you, but I am being truthful from my experience here. This program has ruined a lot of good souls in nursing who have healed and improved their lives, only to have to live out under the crappy "dictatorship" and imposed stigma of the ignorant. It's like being blacklisted really. I tell myself everyday that I deserve much, much better than this stress of feeling like I need to explain myself for something that happened over 20 years ago and was situational. Not that I am an AA advocate by any means, but if the first step was "we admit we are powerless....." and they FORCE this onto participants of this program, how can they in all fairness hold one accountable if they are, in fact, powerless? I could go on and on with the many things that have crossed my mind over the years.......most of it completely exposes the hypocrisy of these stupid contracts. The other issue for me is that I have relocated, and once before tried to secure a license in another state AFTER I had successfully completed the PA VRP program, thinking there would be no problem, which was NOT the case. I spent a lot of money trying to get the NJ license and they declared that I needed to go through their stupid program to "prove" to them. Seriously, how much money does one need to spend and how long does one need to go through all this before you are finally treated fairly, justly and like a human being with feelings, and a soul with a need to be self-sufficient with a decent opportunity for employment? Anyway, because of that, I am not too keen on applying in the state I live in now. In my last job, I worked in a non-clinical setting and any active unrestricted license was acceptable, as it was remote work. So, there is my comment on this matter. I have found that when I am having these feelings, like you have stated, there is a message in there somewhere and that if I don't heed it, eventually it can become a crisis. Maybe I am hitting all these roadblocks and obstacles because I am simply meant to work in some other capacity, although I don't know what that actually is. Nursing has been my life, I was honored to be in it. They, however, were not honored by me when I got sick with dependency on benzos (that were prescribed for me due to dealing with a child who had a brain tumor, among many other things) and needed compassion instead of judgment, love instead of harsh (as opposed to constructive) criticism. I read somewhere that you may do 99 things right and well, but the world will remember the one thing you did wrong. I completed their stupid program, every single chain of custody was clean. I did this whether I was sick, or if my son was yet again in the hospital and I was fearful to have to leave him to go drop urine, if the weather was bad (I had to drive about 45 mins and later over an hour away to go drop urine.) I did this when finding out horrible violations that happened to my older son, I did this when I got divorced by learning how to do it in a library and filing my own motions since I could not afford legal counsel. I wish you well in whatever you come to decide is best for you. While it may not seem to matter the accomplishments we have made to these people involved in these programs, I do have faith that God knows, and that it matters greatly to Him.

Hello, the substance was probably a dye, as used in chain of custody urine drug screens so apparently no one uses toilet water to dilute the specimen. However this is odd, as she was observed I believe. Nothing like being stared at while you try to pee under hostile conditions. Also, I know from personal experience that if you aren't "in the club" at some facilities, they will resort to extremely evil tactics to get rid of you.

Congrats on this no less than HUGE achievement! I too had to clean hotel rooms and was verbally treated very badly by the manager there due to this label I have. I also took the postal exam, passed that, and worked for them for a moment. Good luck to you!

Thanks for your reply! To know that there are understanding souls of this carnage is such a help. I so agree with much of what you said, and because I was also leaving my horrible marriage and had a family that was not helpful or healthy, I did sleep in my car for a moment and then found a horrible single room in a run down hotel that I don't think even cockroaches would have lived in. But my freedom was important, and I did what I had to do. I am no contact with my family, my two very closest friends reside in NJ. NJ has me on their crap list, so that if one were to look it up they would see that ignorance. However, I am fully free and clear on my PA license. I liken this drama to the movie Shawshank Redemption, only it seems in this case there is no breaking free. I must say though that I do feel like I have already crawled my way through the crap sewer that is the BON, had the casemanager from you know where who I know had no heart or compassion whatsoever, and even though I have reached the other side, in my life it has equated to just a piece of paper without any restrictions, but massive blacklisting, judgement and stress taking its place that is really not necessary, healthy or helpful. Why would one have to go through another states' program when they SUCCESSFULLY completed one for another state is criminal. The last job I had was a contract position, so I did not have any PTO or sick time, minimal benefits. We are not serving retribution for what we have done, but rather their fear, ignorance and the wrong belief that addicts never heal. I don't think all the proof in world will ever suffice for them. I would like to see some of them endure the injustice that we have had to endure, only so that maybe they will arrive at understanding how not helpful they are. I am certain that not one of us woke up one day and said, "ya know, I think I will just resort to becoming a drug addict." It stems from other things, addiction merely being the symptom. My DOC was benzos, primarily xanax starting from a prescription I legally obtained which I resorted to taking when my younger son was medically unstable with a brain tumor. Over the course of less than 3 years, I was prescribed 6 mg per DAY, taking at least 10. Yes I did try other things like opiates although they made me sick, and unable to function. So of course I was not mentally/emotionally doing well, as possibly losing my child was the worst thing that could have happened in my mind at that time. My horrible marriage played into all of this as well. I entered the VRP in 2002 January. Let me say that even with my reliance on xanax of almost 3 years, NOT ONE mandated health professional that I was forced to see due to entering the VRP stated that I needed a slow wean and Inpatient care. I was forced to quit in one day. I cannot express how NOT FUN that was. I reckon not one person today could find any medical professional with integrity who would not slow wean a benzo patient, but this is my truth. Furthermore, after only one month of drug screens in this program I was granted permission to find a job, which I chose NOT to do, as I knew I needed more time. How is that for "protecting the public?". My point is who is protecting us from THEM? Thanks again for your kind words. I plan to share more later......

I would suggest a hair test done under chain of custody conditions so that it can be used in court if it comes to that.

Hello All. I appreciate all the great discussions and support that I have seen here. I have been a lurker for a long while, I used to visit another board about this topic way back when I had to go thru the VRP in PA. I successfully completed this program in 2008. However, it was very hard to obtain any job, and it seemed that the only place I was able to get an offer from was LTC. I was thankful to get a job, however it did not challenge me at all, only frustrated me. Also, as one who has this darkness follow them where ever they go, I am the one fingers are always pointing at when something is awry with a count. I could be tested any day and twice on Sunday and not one thing that is not supposed to be in my system will ever be found. I could guarantee that. The last place I had worked at in LTC really did something most horrible to me that gave me PTSD. Because I had been working on a case of reporting one of my nurses that was NOT doing her job well, always on her cell phone, blue tooth in her ear, ect. I was viciously attacked by management there which took me by complete surprise, as even though I hated the job from not being challenged I was good at it and surveys were always passed with flying colors on the floor I managed. Apparently, I wasn't in "the club" and there are those slimy, mean people everywhere who will use your past against you and others will blindly believe whatever they say, no matter how much proof you have. BTW, the acting DON was on my side, but did not verbally advocate for me to anyone in which it would have mattered. This really hurt me, I had worked so hard to transcend all the drama in my life to be surrounded by such ignorance. But, I had resigned prior to this event, as I was going into a job to work from home. I worked fine for that company for 4 years....I was laid off twice by them. It took over 6 months for me to FINALLY find a job, in January of 2015 doing HEDIS. Later, after another short lay off of 5 weeks, I was then hired by same company to work on another project. That project fortunately lasted for 2 years, in January of this year I have been laid off again. I cannot begin to tell you how many jobs I have applied to. Because I worked in such a niche area, no one wants me. Furthermore, I want to tell you that when I was finally free from the PA VRP, I applied for my NJ license as that is where I lived at the time and thought of how nice it would be to finally work in my own state. They demanded that I enter THEIR program, and I thought this is ridiculous, how many times does one pay for their ILLNESSES? I mean even murder is protected with a double indemnity clause, right? Needless to say that one program was absolutely more than sufficient in my mind, considering how you are all aware of the inhumane evil ways they are putting massive money in their greedy little pockets while placing this image of how they are protecting the public from "impaired nurses." So now, I reside in the state of Vermont. I am concerned about applying for this license because of what happened in NJ, where I spent about 600 on NOTHING. Then, even if I am blessed to get it, I am arriving at exhausted in this battle that this world wants us to continue to prove ourselves instead of just accepting that healing does happen, that people can grow and change and improve themselves and it doesn't take a 3-5 year external incarceration to have that happen. I have just run into so much ignorance that I wonder if I should just hang up my license, even though I worked so dang hard to keep it. Honestly though, I don't know what else I could do at this point. I have been a nurse since 1993. Please don't infer from my post that this is a "poor me" pity party. I am, under normal conditions a very happy soul. I just need to find some normal conditions again. Any suggestions or inspiration is greatly appreciated.