Preparing for resident death

[AroseN]

I recently started work in assisted living. Only one person has passed since I have started working there and it wasn't hard on me as she wasn't someone I had worked with much and I was very aware that it was the end of her pain. But one of the residents I started work with was recently put onto hospice care. The other person that I work with who is on hospice is very obviously in pain so I don't fear her passing. But this resident is hard for me to look at and realize she may pass soon, because though she has some pain she is still up and moving and for the most part independent. I am really worried that I will react badly when she passes. I know I can't get distracted while I am at work.

How do I prepare myself for her passing? How do you keep working when you hear the news of someone passing?

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

How do you keep working when you hear the news of someone passing?

This becomes easier with time, especially as your personal views on death and dying become more solidified. We must remember that death is a very natural, normal part of the circle of life.

We're all born. We'll all die. Life is the part that happens between those two events.

It's relatively easy for me to keep working once I've heard that a patient or resident has died because I do not easily become attached to people. I may say out loud, "That's sad" and move on.

However, it would be okay if you shed a tear over a favorite resident because this indicates you're a human being with fleeting emotions. You have permission to feel grief for someone you miss. Good luck to you!

[IsmeAmanda, LPN]

When I found my first dead resident it was one I liked very much. He went from wearing a suit to dinner to dead in 2 weeks, quite fast down hill. I cried my eyes out in the bathroom. Then I was fine and his daughter came. She said "you always took such good care of him, thank you for loving my dad." Then she cried and I held her hand.

It doesn't get easier for me. I love them too much. Each death is a blow. But I get over it, knowing people dont live forever.

[GoofyBlondeChic]

I think that Southern said it best; you just love them through it. It does get easier as each one passes. In time you'll even find a moment to laugh about something silly that one of your deceased residents did or said and it will bring good memories to you. There's nothing wrong with a few tears.