Passion statement

Hello I just recently applied to Chamberlain College of Nursing and I had to write a small paragraph describing what my passion for nursing was. I submitted my application, took the Hesi passed and all but my advisor gave me the ability to rewrite my small paragraph if I needed to. Just to be on the safe side I did....

I just wanted to see if I could get anyone's feedback on what I currently have. This is just pretty much my stance and journey but I know I have to rewrite it properly with grammar and better wording. I'm just a little lost.

thanks for any help

My passion for becoming a Registered Nurse...

My mind was set on pursuing the medical field fresh out of high school. To get a head start I attended technical college and got a degree as a Medical assistant. During the process I knew my passion was caring for others. I was employed for three years while attending college part time. When I was finally ready to dedicate myself full time to my studies, tragedy occurred. My father suffered a major heart attack which put him in a coma. I put my dreams on hold and prayed for my father's recovery. After a month in the intensive care unit my father miraculously recovered. During that hard time I didn't have the ability to continue my education because I had to support my parents financially. As the years went by I continued working as a medical assistant putting my passion and dedication on to every single patient. I never lost hope and new that one day I was going to be able to return to college. When I finally got the chance I registered back into college. Since then I have been on the path of pursuing my lifelong dream of becoming a registered nurse. I am thankful for this opportunity which I will forever be grateful.