When I began this journey, I had not yet been diagnosed. During the summer directly before starting my LPN nursing core, we found out I have Sjogren's, and then the following spring I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, and symptomatic Lupus (my blood work has not yet "proven" Lupus, but I have 5 out of the ten markers). Sometimes, I feel like a train wreck.
In addition, I am a wife and mother (4 children ages 10-18).
I know what I am supposed to do to take care of myself, although that too seems to change occasionally, but I get so overloaded with everything I have to do. I graduate in May with my RN, and am planning to go forward with my BSN, to my master's in Midwifery while working at least part-time as an RN.
Here is the hard part. Lupus is such a variant disease! Some days I am so tired, and hurt so bad I just want to stay in bed, and other days I feel as normal as I do these days and I can push myself a little bit. But, it is REALLY hard to explain to my instructors, my fellow students, and the nurses I am working with during clinicals what my limitations might be, because today I might not need to alter what/how I do something, and tomorrow I might not be able to do that same task at all.
My frustration with this disease is equally comparable to my frustration with how others react. Even with those who seem to understand, it often feels like they believe I am overreacting, or playing up my limitations.
This has been especially true this semester, as I flared the first week in January, and part of my flare includes heart palpitations/PVC's. So now on top of seeing my primary care provider, and my rheumatologist, I will be seeing a cardiologist to rule out pericarditis.
Through it all, I am working hard to make the grades, get the paperwork done, attend the clinicals, prepare for my boards, take care of my family, and take care of myself. Needless to say I am completely and totally overwhelmed! I feel whiny, and yet I also know it is bad to keep these feelings held in.
I know that if I had been diagnosed before I began my journey to my RN, I would not have. However, there are many days when my motivation to get up and moving is my obligations, and that keeps me going.
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When I began this journey, I had not yet been diagnosed. During the summer directly before starting my LPN nursing core, we found out I have Sjogren's, and then the following spring I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, and symptomatic Lupus (my blood work has not yet "proven" Lupus, but I have 5 out of the ten markers). Sometimes, I feel like a train wreck.
In addition, I am a wife and mother (4 children ages 10-18).
I know what I am supposed to do to take care of myself, although that too seems to change occasionally, but I get so overloaded with everything I have to do. I graduate in May with my RN, and am planning to go forward with my BSN, to my master's in Midwifery while working at least part-time as an RN.
Here is the hard part. Lupus is such a variant disease! Some days I am so tired, and hurt so bad I just want to stay in bed, and other days I feel as normal as I do these days and I can push myself a little bit. But, it is REALLY hard to explain to my instructors, my fellow students, and the nurses I am working with during clinicals what my limitations might be, because today I might not need to alter what/how I do something, and tomorrow I might not be able to do that same task at all.
My frustration with this disease is equally comparable to my frustration with how others react. Even with those who seem to understand, it often feels like they believe I am overreacting, or playing up my limitations.
This has been especially true this semester, as I flared the first week in January, and part of my flare includes heart palpitations/PVC's. So now on top of seeing my primary care provider, and my rheumatologist, I will be seeing a cardiologist to rule out pericarditis.
Through it all, I am working hard to make the grades, get the paperwork done, attend the clinicals, prepare for my boards, take care of my family, and take care of myself. Needless to say I am completely and totally overwhelmed! I feel whiny, and yet I also know it is bad to keep these feelings held in.
I know that if I had been diagnosed before I began my journey to my RN, I would not have. However, there are many days when my motivation to get up and moving is my obligations, and that keeps me going.