Nursing application essay

[ENT RN]

Can someone please read my essay and edit/comment/add anything they feel necessary. It's for my BSN application to the university of Illinois at chicago.

What experience have you had in the healthcare field?

I have had numerous experiences in the healthcare field. I have been working at a multi-specialty dentistry since 2010 until date as a dental assistant and sterilization technician. I have learned to work in a fast pace environment with General Dentists, Oral Surgeon, Periodontist, Orthodontist, and Pedodontist. Working at the Dentistry has immensely perfected my skills of communication with a diverse population as well as trained me to acquire exceptional decision-making skills in a high stress environment.

My other rewarding experiences have been volunteering at Family Centered Hospice and Marklund, a home for disabled children. Volunteering has given me the ability to understand and interact with people from various backgrounds, ages, gender, and cultures. I was also able build strong problem-solving and analytic skills to assess and care for each person as an individual.

Finally, I was fortunate enough to interview a Dietitian, Psychologist and a Registered Nurse. Additionally, I was able to shadow the Psychologist and Registered Nurse. I gained hands on familiarity of the daily duties of the three professionals. My modest experience has inspired and encouraged me to seek future education in the medical field.

I have a couple more if anyone is ever so kind to read via email =)

[BloomNurseRN, ASN, BSN, RN]

I would be more than happy to help you out and give you a few pointers. Please feel free to Private Message me.

[NP Sam]

Can someone please read my essay and edit/comment/add anything they feel necessary. It's for my BSN application to the university of Illinois at chicago.

What experience have you had in the healthcare field?

I have had numerous experiences in the healthcare field. I have been working at a multi-specialty dentistry since 2010 until date as a dental assistant and sterilization technician. I have learned to work in a fast pace environment with General Dentists, Oral Surgeon, Periodontist, Orthodontist, and Pedodontist. Working at the Dentistry has immensely perfected my skills of communication with a diverse population as well as trained me to acquire exceptional decision-making skills in a high stress environment.

My other rewarding experiences have been volunteering at Family Centered Hospice and Marklund, a home for disabled children. Volunteering has given me the ability to understand and interact with people from various backgrounds, ages, gender, and cultures. I was also able build strong problem-solving and analytic skills to assess and care for each person as an individual.

Finally, I was fortunate enough to interview a Dietitian, Psychologist and a Registered Nurse. Additionally, I was able to shadow the Psychologist and Registered Nurse. I gained hands on familiarity of the daily duties of the three professionals. My modest experience has inspired and encouraged me to seek future education in the medical field.

I have a couple more if anyone is ever so kind to read via email =)

First, congrats on making it this far! Now on to my critique. If you say you've been working since 2010 you don't have to say "until date." Immensely perfected" does not need immense in it. No one is minimally or moderately perfected. I don't why analytic seems off. Maybe if you just write critical thinking skills. Always read what you write ten times out loud word by word. It helped me. Interviewing people does not count as healthcare experience so I would leave that out. Hope that helps, best of luck.