Nurse Managers in LTC

I don't understand, what makes you think you are responsible for the mans PE...you informed the surgeon and did all within your ability and scope of practice...if anyone should feel guilty its the surgeon.

Sounds like you carry around with you a lot of guilt and lack of confidence.

You must first work on forgiving yourself - we all make mistakes - and I'm not saying that you made a mistake with Mr. PE- but even so- you gotta let it go,

you gotta build up your confidence by improving your skills,

You probably don't realize what a good person and nurse you are and how valued you are as a team member.

In hebrew we have a saying: If I could give you one present- it would be the ability to see yourself as others see you- cause your a terrific, amazing and important member of society.

Finishing your Masters is an amazing accomplishment, I can already tell that you are a caring individual who is sensitive, talented and intelligent, don't let one incident (where you were not to blame) ruin your life.

Good Luck in all your future endeavors!!!

Thanks for your reply. I suppose you're right. It was just that when I saw him, I was surprised he was still on o2, second day post op, should've been off by then. The surgeon wasn't worried because he felt he had the patient anti-coagulated being that he was getting high doses of Coumadin. He really did not think a PE would or could happen on that much Coumadin. Even at the end of the day when I got the order for a CT, the surgeon said to tell the patient he really didn't think it was anything, but wanted to rule it out. Bet he was surprised as the patient didn't present as a text book PE. The patient was never very nice, on everyone for everything, so it made me feel I wasn't jumping high enough. Obviously, I'm thankful the way it ended because it could have been far worse.

As far as confidence, it's always been something I've lacked. Not sure why. I've always done well in life which is probably a miracle. You're so right though, I need to move on. Thanks for your input!! I appreciate it.

BTW, I personally know a successful Psychologist- noted author, speaker, successful practice, founder and administrator of many amazing programs ,father of a large and wonderful family,

He writes an advice column in a local paper.

He writes how he grew up with a doting family and constant accolades for his successes in life - and yet still he is haunted all his life with feelings of low self esteem and self doubt- so you are in good company- If you are interested I would recommend his books, they are easy to read and helpful.

I'd love to read some of his work. What's his name? Thanks!

Dr. Rabbi Abraham Twerski

He wrote many books but try "Lifes too short- "

check it out 2nd hand at :

http://www.alibris.com/search/books/author/Twerski,%20Abraham%20J.

or:

http://www.alibris.com/booksearch?qwork=3940696&matches=16&author=Twerski%2C+Abraham+J.&browse=1&cm_sp=works*listing*title

or new at:

http://www.milechai.com/product2/books/Twerski.html

He has other books - all are great.

Good Luck

Yeah, Lisa. Good advice given already.

Without regaining your confidence, delving into management would be ill advised.

Congrats on the educational accomplishments!

One patient ended up with a PE. I suspected it when I first saw him, but just kept an eye on him. The surgeon (one of the best) really didn't think it was a PE. I ended up calling him later in the day and the surgeon STILL didn't believe the patient had a PE, but wouldn't you know THE PATIENT HAD A PE! I kick myself for not using my instinct and pushing the surgeon earlier in the day.

Don't be to hard on yourself. I did nearly the same thing, but it was with my Dad! He had had a pacemaker put in a week or so before, kept complaining of difficulty breathing and rib pain. At the time, I was an LPN. I pushed him to call his Dr (one of the best around) & he did. The Dr. insisted the chances of PE after pacemaker was very small and kinda blew off the whole thing. WRONG! Ultimately, Dad was OK, but I will always regret not pushing harder even tho I was only LPN vs surgeron.