Next of Kin

[DemonWings]

I have a weird situation on my hands. My biological father is in an ICU in another state. I have met him twice in my life. The only person on that side of the family that's ever had anything to do with me is his sister. I am his only child and he is not married. I got a call a few days ago from my frantic aunt explaining the situation, she told me they won't give her any information because she is not next of kin, I am. She asked me to call the hospital to find out what was happening. I guess in this small ICU they don't allow visitors. Yesterday he was transferred to a different facility about 100 miles away, and yet again, she is calling me to call the hospital. I am so uncomfortable with this. Can I relinquish my standing as next of kin? I don't understand why they would contact me anyway, I know nothing about this man to be of any use to them.

Weird awkward uncomfortable situation.

advise?

[Retired APRN, MSN, RN, APRN]

I'm sorry you find yourself in such a difficult situation. You might want to ask your aunt to talk to the unit social worker and ask him or her for guidance.

[elkpark]

I've seen similar situations in hospitals over the years, and what I've observed is that, if the individual who is legally the next of kin contacts the hospital, explains the situation (no real relationship, no contact in years, etc.) and asks not to be involved, the hospital agrees to that (and documents it) and moves on to the relatives who are involved. I would imagine that, if you let them know you would prefer them to deal directly with his sister, they will be glad to do that.

[DemonWings]

Thank you both. Social worker would be a good idea for my aunt, it's just the two of them. I have a call into the unit he's in, hopefully explaining the situation to them will remove me from the situation.