My first code blue- CPR :(

My first code was my own pt in my 3rd semester of nursing school.. Talk about a shock. I had so many emotions I had no idea what side was up once it finished, I was in disbelief. He did not make it and I blamed myself for a long time..Seeing his daughter outside the room in tears;tore me up and hurt me more than the pts actual death.

I've had a few codes over the years. Codes can be chaotic, especially if you don't know how they're run. For the CNA/PCT/student, know your role in them and you'll do just fine. When they happen, also try to take in what the other roles are for the rest of the people actually running it. Eventually you'll begin to understand it. After you've taken ACLS, things become a lot clearer about the why's behind the chaos.

My first code was during my Nursing Practicum (4th semester) in the PICU... It wasn't my patient, but she was a young girl and she seized and then coded. I assisted with CPR while the PICU filled with nurses drawing up emergency drugs and the like. It was crazy, but we got her back just fine and I felt very "accomplished?" for some reason lol!

Two weeks later on my last day of my Nursing Practicum right before change of shift, another young girl crashed (she was metastatic CA) and I assisted with the code we ran on her for almost two hours. Unfortunately we didn't get her back. It was an intense and emotional experience, but in the moment, you have to have your head in the right place for the benefit of the patient.

My first cardiac arrest was less than 1 hour into my second day of orientation in the ED which also happened to be Father's Day. Older man with terminal lung CA, brought in by ambo, with unknown downtime. What I remember most was feeling his ribs breaking with every compression (probably bone mets). The lung CA made intubation nearly impossible. The code was called shortly thereafter, but not before I saw firsthand how barbaric CPR can be

They're all a blur. Too many to remember!

The key in a code (i have been a tech in ICU for 2 years and i am completing my RN preceptorship in MICU so i have experienced a couple) is to stand back for a second, and calculate. So many people rush in thinking theyre going to save this life (it is important to move fast but sometimes the adreniline is so overpowering you need to re-group) and they dont just take a second to think. Ask yourself what is going on, does EVERYBODY that is currently in the room NEED to be in the room, whats the least invasive thing you could do that could fix the issue, etc. Codes can be SOOOOO chaotic. For instance i had one just last night. 700 pound CHF patient that had developed MASSIVE edema in the lungs. He started to brady down and we had to titrate the pressors like crazy for 45 minutes or so so that we could keep his BP up. We knew he was going to code and we were prepping for it for a whole hour (we bagged for 45 min while setting him up on with pads, backboard, meds, etc etc), and the code was still chaotic!!! There must have been 15 people in that room and we only needed 5. Codes are crazy unless you have the right people working em.

My first time doing cpr though was on a 103 y/o male and when i compressed, well his chest cave in and i believe i broke every bone in that guys body. Of course he died and it shook me up for a while. Its not normal if it doesnt shake you up. I dont believe we were meant to do anything like this as humans, its not normal. After a while you become jaded but i hope you are liking your job still. Stick with it!! It can be so rewarding.