My essay

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Hey all,

This is my LPN essay..I'm not being deliberately terse,it says it has to be less than 250 words. Anyway,read it and let me know what you think and any constructive criticism..I finished it in about ten minutes and its a rough draft..but its due soon so give me your input! Thanks :)

I have always known I wanted to help people in some capacity. Regrettably, it took four years after my high school career ended and an assortment of less-than-rewarding jobs before I had the epiphany that everyone told me I was going to have about my career. I really feel that a career as a licensed practical nurse (and beyond) is what I want to do. I know I can benefit the nursing profession in that I am empathetic, patient, flexible and an excellent multi-tasker. In turn, the profession can benefit me in that it allows me to hone my caretaking skills, and to be creative and adaptive to new and different situations.

I want to do this not just because it is an in demand career, but because I really feel that it would be a rewarding and challenging experience and one that I am very much looking forward to.

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.

Your essay is wonderful. However, too many of the sentences begin with the word "I", and some people have interpreted this as selfishness.

I know you are a very good person who is not selfish or self-centered, but I'm just stating that some folks view too many "I"s as problematic.

One of my social science teachers was reading an essay and stated, "Damn! Virtually all of these sentences begin with "I". The writer must be a self-centered brat."

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Thank you very much for your input..perhaps you're right, I guess I just figured since it was a personal essay that 'I' is a good thing,but hey thats why I asked for advice..its good to have a proofreader. Thank you again.

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I would agree....to many I`s. Just to make sureIunderstand Is this an essay about why you want to become an LPN? There were not any specific questions that they wanted you to answer in the essay? I just finished my essay for nursing school and they specifically asked us include what stimulated a career in nursing and what attribuites we have that would enhanse a career in nursing. There was no word limit on my essay but I have included it below.... GOOD LUCK!

My experiences in a health care environment stimulated my interest in a nursing career. In high school, I volunteered as a candy striper at a local hospital. While growing up several of my friends parents were nurses. The flexibility of their schedules worked well for their family units. Also, my work at the Veterans Hospital since August 1999 has demonstrated the flexibility and diverse opportunities in nursing. For the past four years I have worked as a ward clerk in the Intensive Care Unit. My experiences working with the ICU staff has reinforced my belief that nursing is a noble profession - the very core of healthcare. I personally admire nurses because they provide physical care for their patients while also serving as liaisons and patient advocates. I have observed nurses providing emotional support through counseling both their patients and their patient's families, as well as offering information regarding community resources.

I feel I possess the attributes to enhance my career in nursing. In recent years I have had a passion for learning especially in the diagnosis and treatment of illnesses and disease. Often I research an unfamiliar diagnosis and the medical terminology associated with those diseases. This research helps me to work as an integral part of the health care team further enhancing patient care. I am known to take initiative, work hard, and face challenges. While working as an Insurance Clerk at the Veterans Hospital, I have empathized with the patients frustrations regarding billing problems, and I have served as a patient advocate to get their problem corrected. This required good communication and problem solving skills, initiative, and resolve on my part. My attributes motivate me to seek a career in nursing helping others where my daily work will be part of my personal gratification.

A career in nursing would allow me to use my personal attributes and meet my career goals. I am seeking a career with diverse opportunities and the flexibility to provide for a family. A nursing career will allow me to develop as a human being and have the legacy of caring for others.

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Thank you guys both so much. I did change some of the 'I's in the saay.To answer your question Thomp,the application just asked why I want to be a nurse..no specifics..probably because its an LPN program at a vocational school..but anyway thanks foe your encouragement and suggestions :)

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By far the best put together essay I've read so far in this forum. Finally someone that writes articulately and eloquent.

Kudos to you and I hope you got into the program. Keep me post as I am trying to get into nursing school as well.

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I suck at writing wow if only i could write like that....

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