Loss of confidence

[pippi1969]

Since the drug error that I had this year and the investigation that followed but cleared me in the end has left me pritty scarred, anxious and has lost me some of my confidence. I have just recently resigned on the ward where the incident happened because it's constantly understaffed, a ward that has very dependent patients (trauma orthopaedics for the elderly) and therefore very stressful. But since I had the drug error I never managed to get back on to where I left off. When I went back to work I felt I was more monitored rather than supported which in a way I could understand but made me feel anxious of making a mistake as I was constantly watched. I found it very difficult to get back on the horse again as I felt people would not trust my capabilites and treated me by some people without respect it was very hurtful. My manager in this time was constantly at me asking me all the time why am I doing this or the other which would be ok if she had asked me in a nice way rather than making it sound as though she is trying to catch me out. Anyway since a week I have been written off sick for 5 weeks by my GP who seemed to understand and got the picture of what has happened to me. Before I was written off sick I was meant to fulfill this "learning contract" which is like doing your competencies but I felt under the stress I was there was no way I could achieve this as I was quite upset whilst working there and having my manager breathing down on you does not help either. I was told then if I failed this "learning contract" I would have to go down the capabilities route which I was told could cost me my registration ??? well they have quite frightened me with that as I am passionate aboute nursing. The RCN told me to keep the resignation and that it would not come to all that as I would not be there but I am concerned if there will be anything else to come once I have left in 5 weeks.

[JB2007, ASN, RN]

I am so sorry you are going though all of this. It is so hard to get your confidence back after a med error. I do not know what your med error was and all of the details that led up to the event. However, I can tell you that everyone has made and will make med errors. If someone tries to tell you that they have not made a med error they are either not telling the truth or they just have not caught themselves yet.

I would guess that it would be very difficult to deal with the emotional stress of the error due to an unsupportive supervisor. When you make a mistake you need to find a way to not make the same mistake again and someone watching, waiting to pounce on any mistake you make is not the way to correct the problem.

It sounds like you might need to consider finding another job because it is not good to be under this kind of stress. No job is worth making yourself physically ill over.

[pippi1969]

Thanks JB2007, you are right no job is worth getting ill for and thank goodness I have resigned there it's just that now when I go for interviews and people ask for a reference from my recent employer they are going to put in about this learning contract which doesn't sound very good but I know I will get from another employer as a second reference a very good one as I was already told by them but it won't be easy I think finding a job with the reference from my recent job, well will keep trying :wink2:

[lunden]

i feel so sad just reading that, but like the above post said everyone makes mistakes, we are all human, and it's all in how your management handles things. good luck to you in your job search:up: