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Specializes in ICU, ER, PCU, LTAC.

Wondering if I'm the only one in this situation. 2nd marriage, no kids. My husband hasn't worked in about 8 years. Not even the pretense of applying for jobs. Everything is based on ME...income, insurance, retirement. But I have little say in how the money is spent. My wedding ring and Kindle have been pawned. Drugs aren't involved, but I don't know how to improve my situation.

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Specializes in Nursey stuff.

Sounds like my situation 24 years ago, except I had a year old child. My family was very supportive and I will tell you what my dad said to me...

"Why the hell are you staying with that deadbeat...what? Is he good in bed or something?"

Made me think...Why am I staying with this guy?

Why are you?

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Specializes in Geriatrics, Dialysis.

I guarantee you are not the only one it that situation. The obvious question from somebody not in your situation is why on earth do you stay with him? Since you are still in the marriage you must have your reasons. Maybe seeking out a support group will at least give you an outlet to speak to someone who is is a similar situation. Otherwise speaking to a counselor might not be such a bad idea. You can probably reach out to employee assistance or your primary MD for referrals if you don't know where to turn.

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Specializes in Nursey stuff.
The obvious question from somebody not in your situation is why on earth do you stay with him?

I have been in this situation, and like gigi_rn I had one big thing going for me...I was an RN and I made good money so who needed him. Although when I divorced the fat slob, my worry was that I might end out paying him alimony. Thanks to a good attorney, that didn't happen or I would still be paying out since lover boy isn't much of a catch when he is 60 and still living with mama. :scrying:

The only thing counseling may help with is to bolster self-esteem so one can look in the mirror and say, "I am a worthwhile person and I deserve better than a deadbeat couch potato."

gigi_rn you are a terrific person and I send you ((hugs)).

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Specializes in Psych, HIV/AIDS.

I say...kick him to the curb!!!

You deserve better, get a great attorney and move on to a better life.

Get some counselling BEFORE committing to a new relationship and hopefully you will discover why you attract the losers.

Did he really pawn your engagement ring and kindle???

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Specializes in ICU, ER, PCU, LTAC.

I keep hoping things will get better. I'm Catholic, and really don't want to divorce. Maybe counseling. It might sink in if he heard from a 3rd party how unbalanced our relationship is. Also, we live in a motel. No one knows my life because I'm so ashamed.

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Specializes in ICU, ER, PCU, LTAC.

Sure did

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Do you have a lot of debt? If so, check out some non-profit credit counselors.

Since you strongly identify as Catholic, do you have a relationship with a church that could provide emotional support? That could influence your deadbeat husband?

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