Just had my first one.....

sorry, I can't really say much since I haven't been throught that.

It never gets any easier... You just have to remember that for every patient that dies that are hundreds you help. Every nurse that's been at the bedside for any amount of time has been there. Maybe someone you can talk to that you trust and respect, maybe a charge nurse that has been around the block a time or two? My thoughts are with you...

Something like this just happened a couple months ago. I've had several patients die, but this one just hit me harder. It was a 99 year old woman just told told me how wonderful she slept the night before. I left the room and no more than 2 minutes later, I heard her monitor going on. I head in there, and the monitor was dinging V Fib, and the pt wasn't breathing. Luckily she was a DNR, but it just hit hard, because I wasn't expecting it. I called another nurse in there with me, and more came along to help with calling the doctor, the family, doing paperwork, etc.

It is hard. Some deaths are easier than other's, and it always helps to have coworkers there by your side. Hang in there. :)

The badside of bedside nursing is that the patients have a face and you know their story. In the OR, it was much quicker and the patients were (to me) faceless, just a job most days.

you are so right, in that our pt deaths are extremely personal to us.

even if there has been little interaction, ea and every death affects us.

nursing will change you in ways you never expected.

try to embrace ea experience as a stepping stone towards profound growth.

you'll be ok, crux.

be gentle and patient with yourself.

allow yourself to feel whatever may come.

despite all the frustration i've had in nsg, it will always remain a privilege to be a part of a person's most intimate and vulnerable moments.

while none of us ever enjoys the dying aspect, it is necessary if we are to become well-rounded and proficient.

with prayers for peace and healing,

leslie

I guess I'm just cold hearted, but it doesn't really affect me when the patients die. Most of the time it's expected and more of a relief than anything else. Once in a while we get a surprise death, or a death of a patient that we've taken care of for a long time and that's a little sad. I remain pretty detached. In my 3 years in CVICU I've probably bagged over a dozen patients and communed with even more families over impending deaths.

You'll get used to it.

I guess I'm just cold hearted, but it doesn't really affect me when the patients die. Most of the time it's expected and more of a relief than anything else. Once in a while we get a surprise death, or a death of a patient that we've taken care of for a long time and that's a little sad. I remain pretty detached. In my 3 years in CVICU I've probably bagged over a dozen patients and communed with even more families over impending deaths.

You'll get used to it.

Not coldhearted at all. I feel the same usually. Ive had several patient deaths, but usually traumas in a fast paced OR. Its not that i was attached, just that it was so quick and unexpected. Kinda like getting hit by a truck when youre not looking.

Unfortunately, I came into work tonight and heard that the patients spouse called the front desk later in the morning looking to talk to the patient. Apparently they never got the message asking them to call the doc back. So the nurse that was on got to break the news. Talk about being blindsided.

Remember the fact that you DID have a conversation with him - albeit a..."wait for a couple of minutes for your water" conversation! If you had gone to get the water yourself, wouldn't that have taken 10 minutes as well? You had no inkling he was going to die....at least someone spoke to him before he did die....My 2 cents....