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Is nursing for me?

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by EmilyGNursing EmilyGNursing (New Member) New Member

154 Visitors; 8 Posts

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Hi everyone. 

I have been really struggling lately. I was hoping someone with more experience could help me out. I am a senior in college. I was a nursing major for my first 3 years of undergrad. During the second semester of my junior year, I was hit with a really rough week due to some circumstances out of my control and unfortunately failed one test, badly. At the end of the semester I had all A's and B's on my cumulative finals, but ended up with a 79.78 and needed an 80 to pass the class. My BSN program was very strict and I was dismissed (we were not allowed to drop or it also counts as a fail). Before this experience, I loved being a nursing major. I was so proud of it and I made some great friends in the program. What I loved the most was patient care. It broke my heart to be dismissed. To be honest, I blamed myself so hard for "not being good enough" and had to go to therapy for about a year because of it. I changed my major and now am a double major in psychology and biology and I have a 3.4 GPA. I am really enjoying my new major's and I have learned a lot and have been able to a lot of graduate-level research that I have *truly enjoyed!  I and have really built a good resume up. The trouble is now that I am at a crossroads. I graduate soon and need to decide on post-grad plans. Its really between getting a masters or PHD in Human Factor psychology / healthcare research OR I go back to nursing at a tech program for an ADN degree then later do an RN-BSN? (The only other BSN programs in my state won't accept anyone who has made a C in another nursing program). Truthfully, I have a lot of resentment toward the academic side of nursing, particularly because I was finally able to accept that I did very well on my cumulative final and really knew the information but the end, but none of that mattered because the policy is policy. I have resentment to my peers who are only nursing majors "for the money" and "hate old people." (Those were really said to me by classmates). Anyway, its coming time to choose. I knew I always wanted a masters degree, and originally though MSN would be where I end up, now I'm thinking maybe nursing isn't for me. I love the patient care, but nursing feels so polluted now it just breaks my heart over and over to think about it. I considered PA (because of the feelings for nursing I wanted to find something different), but truthfully I don't know what to do anymore. I felt so clear in purpose to live until this happened last year. Now I can't even tell if I liked being a nursing major or if grief has just told me I don't like nursing anymore. I think I just want to be able to make a difference for people who need it and show others (and myself) I am not a failure. 

:/

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ThatChickOmi has 1 years experience.

1,623 Visitors; 147 Posts

Only you know the answer for that. 

To me, it seems like it is, judging on what you just posted.

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61 Visitors; 9 Posts

It seems to me that when you were in the nursing program, you loved what you were doing, unlike some of your peers. I think that if you were doing nursing for the right reasons in the first place, and going back to the field is still on your heart, then it is for you!

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