Interpersonal Conflict

When someone comes to me with an interpersonal issue with a coworker, my first response is usually, "And when you fill-in-the-blank (tried to talk to her about it/told her how what she said made you feel/asked her to help you/etc) how did she respond?" Usually, they say "I haven't talked to her." Then I will say "Okay, you need to talk with her about it first. If you want me to be present as an objective third party while you have this conversation, let me know and I can set up a meeting for the two of you." That lets them know that I expect they will first try to deal with their conflict amongst themselves like grownups.

16 hours ago, special1rn said:

Good evening,

I am wondering what sort of issues you have to get involved in as a manager? I have recently had a large amount of staff come in my office with concerns anywhere from I don't like how she spoke to me to she is prejudice. I encourage staff to discuss issues peer to peer, unless they interfere with care, or they don't feel comfortable with discussing the issue 1:1. I have a variety of factors that I am dealing with on my unit. I have been in this role for a couple years, but it seems like the learning curve will never settle with the small issues, and I am unclear whether all should be entertained? 

 

First, congrats on making it this long as a manager.  It takes time to get better at this job. 

I agree with Klone for basic conflicts that sound like a misunderstanding or small disagreement, where the both staff members are reasonable and nonviolent/non-reactive people.  If not, it is not reasonable to ask them to talk 1:1 without a manager present. 

And yes, all conflicts need to be entertained because if not resolved properly, they get worse and make for an unpleasant workplace setting for other staff members.  Not to mention, if things get worse, you will be thrown under the bus for allowing the conflict to get out of control. 

With that said, you may wish to develop your skills with crucial conversations and conflict resolution.  These are not a easy skills to develop, but once mastered, conflicts within your department or under your prevue are lessened because staff know you will handle the situation fairly and timely.  Plus, unpleasant staff members will also know that you will escalate discipline to include termination.  Thus, if they are smart, they will either change their behaviors or they will transfer/quit before you need to proceed to termination.  Good luck!