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Discussion

Incompetent??

I have started on my 3rd semester in nursing school (2 more to go, woot!). My main issue is I've always had doubts about nursing and my confidence (which lacks tremendously) to be able to enter the profession. This semester did not start out great and I feel it's not going to get better anytime soon. My mom was diagnosed with stage 3 NASH, I took myself off my depression pills, there is family turmoil galore, and on top of it classes, classes, and more classes, No biggie right, life happens. Well, I was in clinical the other day and couldn't get my patient's temp: I tried different equipment, recalibrate the machine, and even tried axillary and too no avail I became overwhelmingly frustrated. On top of that I forgot to leave my most recent and upsetting personal life issues at the door. I thought I had taken a pulse ox and had let another student borrow the machine. I went back to the dinamap later and was really unsure which result was mine and picked what I thought was the closest to what I thought I had received. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary when charting and I moved on, completely depressed through the rest of the clinical and went home. To my dismay, I figured out later in the week I hadn't actually the pulse ox at all...why this hit me like a ton of bricks a few days later don't ask, I'm still trying to figure it all out. I went to my instructor and advisor feeling totally and beyond inadequate and was determined to drop out of the nursing program, because I felt in adequate to be in the nursing school/profession. My advisor told me mistakes happen and we are only human, but I still feel like there's something I could have done to prevent this snowball of emotions from interrupting my job as a nursing student.

I still feel inadequate to move on, but have been persuaded to stay in the program (even though I feel I don't belong).Any thoughts from fellow peers? I am seeking counseling and going back on my depression med btw.

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    • Featured Replies

    Studentblue, first off, hugs to you. You have had a really rough time lately it seems. :(

    I truly feel the turmoil of your personal life is simply spilling over into your school and clinical day. While we are supposed to leave our private troubles at the door, we are only human. Some days it's just gonna be easier than others.

    I really think if this is the worst mistake you make in NS, then you will be just fine. :) I know it's hard right now, but don't let one boo-boo keep you from becoming the great nurse you can be. :) Prayers going up for you.

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    • Guides

    Deep breath. NOTHING is in perspective right now. Going off depression meds is a huge adjustment and obviously you went off them at a time when life got pretty out of control. I think you will be pleased to see how much things seem more manageable as they get back into an effective dose range.

    Continue seeing the counselor. Get information on stress reduction and HOW to leave things outside of school. It takes practice. Best of luck to you and your family.

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    Hmmm.... sounds like you're falling victim to black and white thinking. I promise you, the world will not end and mankind will not vanish from the face of the earth if you make a mistake. You probably won't even get in trouble.

    It sounds like you need to get yourself together and focus on your mental health. If you have to, take a break from school for a semester until you are healthy. Your perspective is skewed right now and you may need some time to get back on an even keel.

    Stop beating yourself up. Right now. It just makes you feel worse and could send you into a downward spiral. You are not superhuman and you should probably cut yourself some slack. Nobody is perfect, no matter what they post!

    I hope you are able to get yourself back on track and continue on in nursing!

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    • Author

    Thank you all for your replies!!! :)

    Another quick question relating to this, just because I have become so paranoid. Is it possible that they can charge me with a misdemeanor for this? I mean, logically it would seem highly unlikely because I came forward about it, but at the same time I would hate to be punished and in my state is a class 1 misdemeanor (YIKES!!). I am not this type of person and would hate to see my honesty lead me to a place I don't belong or even effect my future career.

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    • Guides

    Definitely paranoia. No way are you going to get a criminal charge for a misread pulse ox.

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    OK, now you're being ridiculous. I call shenanigans.

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    A saying at my school is, "The worst always happens in nursing school!"

    In the last year, one student's father committed suicide, one student's apartment building burnt down, one student's daughter had a psychotic episode and was committed to a psych facility, one student hit a deer in her car and ended up in the hospital, one student's 16 year old daughter became pregnant...and more things that I can't remember at the moment.

    Life happens. It's not going to wait until you finish school, unfortunately. The only thing you can do is deal with it. Go to counseling. And if you learned anything about pharm at all, you should have known not to take yourself off your meds! As for the misdemeanor thing - seriously? The only way you could get in trouble is if the patient's O2 sat was really low and they were harmed in some way due to your misconduct. The primary nurse should have been completing her own assessments so that should never happen.

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