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Discussion

I feel like ****...

I'm a nursing student but again posted this topic in this section because you are all very experienced and intelligent. So here it goes:

I attend a university for nursing, and I absolutely love the program. The faculty members are phenomenal and they also have tremendous support for me to succeed in this program because I have a hearing disability. I'm beyond grateful to have their support. I was born deaf in both ears and got a Cochlear Implant so I can hear everything now.

But in the school, it's almost over (two more weeks until exams) and I still have not made any friends. Not even a single friend. Let me elaborate. I've added the new friends I've made on my Facebook and whenever they are online, I would initiate a conversation to, you know, make new friends. That works but the problem is that they NEVER initiate a conversation with me. Never. Not even once. Sometimes people would come up to me and say, "hi" and that's it. They would walk away and sit in a different seat. Because of my hearing disability, my speech sounds a bit different (it's now worse but I will have speech therapy soon to rectify the problem) and I've noticed that when I'm in school and I go up to people to chat, they are like, "what?" As in they don't understand me a bit and they seem to be a bit lazy. For example, I asked a girl beside me in a lecture, "is that our professor?" and she said, "yea....wait what? What did you say?" People don't seem to be putting in an effort in making a conversation with me with my hearing loss.

Also, every time I go to lectures, I've noticed that when my nursing classmates are with their circle of friends. Always. I have seen a few nursing students who come in alone but they will end up sitting with their friends in the lecture. I've always sat alone. There's one girl who I like and we are kinda "friends" but whenever she sees me sitting alone, she would say "hey how are you? blah blah blah" and then sit next to me. I would be so happy until HER friends come in and then she moves to a different seat to be with them. This happens to me every single time. Everywhere I go, I see nursing students with their circle of friends and I have no one literally. I'm a HUGE introvert but nonetheless I always make an effort to make new friends or talk to people.

I think it's because of my hearing disability.

Featured Replies

I've found that people are uncomfortable with those who are disabled.

I think it's the awkward factor. We're presented with a person/situation that's unfamiliar, and we're afraid we'll say or do the wrong thing. It's just easier to avoid the person/situation.

Being a nurse has cured me of a lot of those fears. Awkward situations seem never ending in the nursing field. I also have a disabled daughter, and watch the way people interact with her. I can always tell the ones who have experience with people who are different. Nurses almost always act naturally and friendly with her.

As far as the friend thing goes, I simply can't relate. I have co-workers, acquaintances, and family. I have sisters and brothers who are my best friends. It feels like a high school thing to acquire "friends" like trophies. Also high schoolish to feel less because you have no "friends".

  • Author

Wow, such wise words from all of you! Thank you so much. You're right - nursing school is hard and the first we need to focus on is studies. I am lucky that I have one friend but sometimes I would feel lonely whenever I see someone in my nursing classes going up to a person to start a conversation easily. I can't do that. I cannot just go up to the person easily and start a conversation because I'm a huge introvert.

I hope that when the right time comes, I'll have plenty of friends.

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