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Help!!!!

I have tears streaming down my face as we speak.

I just got home from my second day of clinicals, (first day we actually handle patients) and I have serious doubts that I'm cut out for this job. (I'm a nursing major, and doing my STNA at the moment.)

I did just fine with all of my other skills, like feeding, changing, transferring, etc. but my mind COMPLETELY spaced while giving a bed bath to a very large woman. I'm a tiny girl, and I had a lot of trouble turning her. I also had trouble remembering some pretty important details, and basically, I got my head ripped off. (Rightfully so.)

This is my first stepping stone toward my nursing career, and I'm already failing. I passed my lecture portion with flying colors, but clinicals are giving me hell. I've never wanted something so badly in my entire life, and I can't believe I'm saying it, but I'm almost ready to just switch to something else. If I struggle so badly from the very beginning, what hope is there for me when I get into the hellish nursing program??? (That is, IF I get into the hellish nursing program.)

Did anyone else experience this?? If so, will SOMEONE tell me that it gets better?

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You know, it was MONTHS after taking and passing my test before I actually felt comfortable and competent.

Even now, each time I start a new job, it feels like being a new CNA all over again, because every facility is incredibly different and every resident likes/needs things done a certain way. Don't worry. You'll figure out your stride and eventually you will know just how to get each task done in a way that works for you and the resident. Clinicals are weird and pressure filled, and believe me, you will do all of your learning once you're actually working. The clinicals will teach you how to pass the test, and that's it.

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