HELP please

duringthe last week of march, before easter, i found out i didnt pass my nclex and it was my first time taking it. it devestated me from when i took the test, to when i found out. i even took kaplan. the diagnostic test was a 59%, but i decided to test three weeks after. now i havent gotten the money back, im repeating the course, and i took some hurst materials. luckily when i found out, there was a course in session and i jumped into the repeat kaplan on the second/third day. i wanted to keep the questions b/c the questions really do look like the nclex exam.

i felt so horrible esp knowing i really did try hard. im getting over it kind of, since im in the middle of the kaplan, and im finishing the third day of hurst (i started hurst on sunday, filling outnotes and studying the organ systems). i like that it gives me the pathophysiology. repeating kaplan, however, ive noticed some of the Qs are the same. i guess its good for practice. I got the exam cram book from the library and installed it to my laptop. ive been answering about 50 Qs a day from that, but the Qs arent as hard as kaplan. where are other practice questions?

what else should i do different? please help me.i was the honor student, in sigma theta tau, and i got good grades(except for pediatrics). i know some people who probably would be like "haha" or something, i just feel embarassed. i started to become closer to God but i stopped going out because i got depressed. i was even unmotivated, not wanting to get up frm bed and crying everyday after that pearson trick thing, but i know i cant give up. i took a picture of someones license on my phone to help me stay motivated despite feeling so disappointed