HELP, need some advice

juzme · May 3, 2012

Hello all,
I am new grad fresh out of school. I started my 1st nursing job in the ER at a smaller hospital. After I started my new job I found out that we were expecting, but then we lost the baby. I didn't take any time after the loss. The loss happened on a Thursday and I was back to work on that Monday. I was on orientation for a total of 8 weeks intermittently due to being on bedrest for part of my orientation. I am working 2nd shift and am struggling with the workload. Aside from the fact that I am trying to get use to my role as a new nurse coupled with the increase in my workload, and adjusting to finding things in the ER. I am finding myself quite overwhelmed. I am even questioning whether I chose the right career. I love that the ER is never the same, however I am finding myself snapping at co-workers over things I normally wouldn't get upset over. For example, I had a co-worker tell me that the family was wanting an update on there loved one while I was trying to pull out meds for another patient, and instead of handling it with professionalism. I snapped and said that I would get to it. I am feeling very overwhelmed and anxious, and I am looking for advice on what to do.

I am so sorry for your loss:( Please give yourself a break, you are dealing with alot! Apologize to your coworkers and let them know what you just went through, there are people out there who still care about other people. Most new nurses really struggle for a good year or so and to add on what you are going through will take a lot of strength on your part and support from those that love you and hopefully, some caring coworkers.

Please give yourself time to grieve and also to get the hang of nursing. Until you prioritizing down and like I said that takes awhile....it is going to be overwhelming. When I 1st went to work in a hospital I thought I would have a nervous breakdown but over time I learned time management skills and grew more confidant in my nursing abilities. Also, find a nurse who has been a nurse for awhile and let them be a mentor for you. I can't tell how much I learned from those seasoned nurses!

When I felt overwhelmed I would look over my patient list and think ok, what needs done 1st? Who do I need to see 1st? Remember your ABCs in nursing to prioritize! I remember coming onto my shift and BOOM...the off going nurse handed me the kardex, said I have 6 pts, 1 who needs blood hung, another on a heparin drip(make sure he gets a cbc w/o diff done tonight) another pt who needs an Epogine injection, a brittle diabetic, a pt 3 days postop valve replacement, 1 pt 4 days postop bilateral knee replacement who thinks he doesnt need help getting up.....I literally had a panic attack right there...I wrote down everything I could walked over to my med cart and started to see what meds needed done now...I made myself think and I also had family members coming out asking me questions...talk about stressed but I was as honest as I could be and told them I will be taking care of them just please give me some time and I was very apologetic to the families and most saw i was running around and trying very hard...bottom line is give yourself time and before you know it, you will be the nurse the new nurses come to for help...take care.

mj

ixchel · May 3, 2012

I have been in a position over the last few years to counsel and support women who have lost pregnancies. What you have just gone through has been huge. How far along were you? I am so, so sorry for your loss. The greiving period you are going to go through is going to be astronomical. To be honest, I think I would have probably hit the ground running after such an experience as well because I tend to adjust better with distractions and forward momentum. Unfortunately, though, that may only be providing a way to avoid processing your feelings about this loss. When you pile on top of that a brand new work experience that would be hard even without the greif you are experiencing, I think it is completely understandable (and expected, really) that you will have bad days.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Let yourself process all of this. The pain of this loss will likely never go away completely, but it will lessen (and get easier) with time. If the distraction of working is making it better on you, then keep at it. But if you are feeling overwhelmed, perhaps a week or two off would be good. It is good to pause at times to breathe a bit.

I know you were asking for advice on coping with work stuff, and unfortunately, I'm not finished with school yet so I can't offer any words of wisdom there. But I can be an ear for you about this loss, if you'd like. Feel free to PM me.