Ive been accepted to a CRNA school starting this summer. But I can't help get this gut feeling that I shouldn't do this to go away.
For years I've been preparing for CRNA school... Excellent undergrads grades, all the prerequisites, 3 years in a level 1 trauma ICU, CCRN, applied to school... Got into school....
But it instead of being excited I'm filled with dread. I've had panic attacks about it, cried about it, stressed about it, for weeks!
honestly I'm terrified I won't be able to handle school. It's so intense. I know i'm smart enough but I'm not sure if I want it enough. I'm not sure I'm emotionally strong enough. I'm also absolutely terrified to increase my autonomy. I don't feel like I can handle holding someone's life in my hands like that. I feel like I'll crumble under the pressure.
Im so confused because the exact reasons I feel dread are the reasons I wanted to go to CRNA school in the first place. I'm a damn good ICU nurse and love the sickest of the sick patients, love titrating drips and really using my critical care skills. If I like it so much and thrive in the ICU won't I like CRNA?
I can't help but wonder if I'm just telling myself I have to do this because I've been planning my life around it for 8+ years. I don't want to pay all the money and put myself through hell just to end up dropping out. But I also don't want to just give up this dream I'm so desperately clinging too because I'm psyching myself out.
ive shadowed CRNAs and loved the experience. I feel like I know after school is over and after a few years on my own under my belt I will love the job. The problem is I'm not sure i can handle the emotional turmoil getting to that point. Is all the pain, sweat, and tears really worth it? If I'm having this much dread and terror months before school even starts am I just setting myself up for failure?
i feel like an embarrassment to the CRNA profession and I haven't even put one foot in the door... Help!
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I'm having some serious cold feet.
Ive been accepted to a CRNA school starting this summer. But I can't help get this gut feeling that I shouldn't do this to go away.
For years I've been preparing for CRNA school... Excellent undergrads grades, all the prerequisites, 3 years in a level 1 trauma ICU, CCRN, applied to school... Got into school....
But it instead of being excited I'm filled with dread. I've had panic attacks about it, cried about it, stressed about it, for weeks!
honestly I'm terrified I won't be able to handle school. It's so intense. I know i'm smart enough but I'm not sure if I want it enough. I'm not sure I'm emotionally strong enough. I'm also absolutely terrified to increase my autonomy. I don't feel like I can handle holding someone's life in my hands like that. I feel like I'll crumble under the pressure.
Im so confused because the exact reasons I feel dread are the reasons I wanted to go to CRNA school in the first place. I'm a damn good ICU nurse and love the sickest of the sick patients, love titrating drips and really using my critical care skills. If I like it so much and thrive in the ICU won't I like CRNA?
I can't help but wonder if I'm just telling myself I have to do this because I've been planning my life around it for 8+ years. I don't want to pay all the money and put myself through hell just to end up dropping out. But I also don't want to just give up this dream I'm so desperately clinging too because I'm psyching myself out.
ive shadowed CRNAs and loved the experience. I feel like I know after school is over and after a few years on my own under my belt I will love the job. The problem is I'm not sure i can handle the emotional turmoil getting to that point. Is all the pain, sweat, and tears really worth it? If I'm having this much dread and terror months before school even starts am I just setting myself up for failure?
i feel like an embarrassment to the CRNA profession and I haven't even put one foot in the door... Help!