help with cover letter

please help me make a cover letter.. anyone? pls..;-)

so far, this is what i have.. please check it..

Dear XXX,

I am writing to inquire for a possible employment as a Licensed Vocational Nurse in your facility. I graduated last April in XXX and just passed my NCLEX last August.

I believe I would make a positive addition to your nursing staff. Though I don't have experience working in a nursing field before, working as a hotel concierge for the past 2 years, I have learned to adapt quickly, make quick decisions, anticipate the needs of our guests and provide a good customer service. Aside from that I am a quick learner and a very hardworking person.

Thank you for taking time to review my resume. I am looking forward to meeting you soon to discuss possible employment. I will be avalable for an interview at your convenience and may be reach at XXX-XXXXXX. I look forward hearing from you.

Sincerely,

XXX

Please if anyone can suggest to make it better, please post it asap.. thanks;-)

If I were you where you put that you don't have any experience. I would state something to the affect of --- I have had clinical experience with (fill in whatever you had experience doing). I believe my education has given me a solid foundation on which I hope to build on with your facility.

Just my opinion.

thanks for your opinion, i really appreciate it.. i did put my clinical experience in my cover letter.. thanks again..:-)

If I were you where you put that you don't have any experience. I would state something to the affect of --- I have had clinical experience with (fill in whatever you had experience doing). I believe my education has given me a solid foundation on which I hope to build on with your facility.

Just my opinion.

Though I don't have experience working in a nursing field before, working as a hotel concierge for the past 2 years, I have learned to adapt quickly, make quick decisions, anticipate the needs of our guests and provide a good customer service. Aside from that I am a quick learner and a very hardworking person.

i would take out, "though i don't have experience working in a nursing field before" and start the sentence with, "Working as a hotel concierge...".

you don't want to emphasize what you haven't done.

you may also consider citing the urgency of your guest's complaints, and how you were able to prioritize response...

since prioritizing is key in good nursing care.

wishing you the very best.

leslie

Good luck. Don't underestimate the value that working in the hospitality business can bring to your nursing career. Especially nowadays.

Though I don't have experience working in a nursing field before,

take that out

(I see leslie suggested that too)

have learned to adapt quickly

take that out(you have used the verb quick three times you can try to stress your time management skills without overusing quick , we don't want them thinking you will make quick judgments without thought)

change it to something like (what leslie said also) ...can easily multi-task and prioritize my skills

quick decisions........maybe change to someting...lol

I should get payed for this......"I am confident in my decision making skills under stressful circumstances?

I am looking forward to meeting you soon

I look forward hearing from you.

take one out your sounding desperate

keep this in I disagree with Sadernurse05. Management is all about customer service, they don't seem to focus on patient care...they love the word client over guest or patient so change guest to client and stress good customer service with something like....and strive focusing to ensure good customer service.

anticipate the needs of our guests and provide a good customer service.

keep this in I disagree with Sadernurse05. Management is all about customer service, they don't seem to focus on patient care...they love the word client over guest or patient so change guest to client and stress good customer service with something like....and strive focusing to ensure good customer service.

anticipate the needs of our guests and provide a good customer service.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's what I was trying to say. Instead of focusing on what she has not done (experience in being paid to work as a nurse) she can focus on what she has done (her education and passing the NCLEX) and how she can bring her people skills to nursing. When I interviewed people for another profession I always liked to see if they had a previous job and if some of the "soft skills" would transfer over. I do agree she needs to wait until she passes the test, at least in my area. Sorry for any misunderstanding.