Had my first code today....

*HUG*

I'm so sorry. It never really gets easy. It sounds like you did what you could. :)

It is SO different when you are a tech and being involved in the code versus being the RN and its your patient coding. Its a different feeling. You reacted fast as the nurse then you cared for the family as a human. You did great....big hug to you. Its hard when its at the beginning of your shift, puts a cloud over you whole day. Good thing that tomorrow is a new day to impact on someone else's life :)

I'm so sorry you had to experience that but it's a good thing to check off your list. Now you know how you'll handle an emergency and will be more prepared. My first code\death was extremely traumatic but after experiencing it every other situation has been so much easier to handle. But that first one still haunts me.

Codes are scary-a code really puts all that training to use and you never know how you'll react until it happens. It sounds like you did a good job, especially in caring for the family...they will remember your care and concern for their loved one forever. Big hugs to you, and hoping your next shift goes smoothly :-)

(I don't hug)

I'm sorry you went through that. My first code I always thought would leave me sad, crying after shift, or just numb....instead I was just amazingly angry.

My patient was a dear gentleman who I loved careing for who said more to me with his smile and eyes then even the most talkative pt. I have had a lot of hospice pts pass and know what signs to look for, but my pt was smiling at me as I made my rounds, nodded his head, squeezed my hand like a friend as I did his tx's.

He had been suffereing badly...his skin integrity was very poor, couldn't talk, was deaf, was on g-tube feedings, was septic, had numerous call outs to the ER for respiratory issues (would be vented a few weeks then back in LTC), Heparin shots had turned most of his body black and blue, and was in his late 90's.

When I came back to check on him 45 minutes later he was gone..gone gone..cold gone. But he was a full code because he had family that just couldn't think of losing him at any cost. Hospice had approached them and they almost physicly threw the hospice nurse out of the room.

So here I am, doing chest compressions for the first time ever...feeling cartilage give way and the ribs moving under my hand...hearing and feeling those horrible sounds...and i was just so angry that I was making a pointless effort but my professionalism wouldnt let me stop, hold back on my compressions, or just "fake" it. Yes I felt bad for the family in losing a loved one but I feel he could have had so much more a quality of life vs quanity if his relatives had cared just abit more.